Author Archives: John
Author Archives: John
I was talking to a friend the other day and we ended up discussing how he had a hard time letting go of the past.
It’s very common for many people to keep allowing things from the past to be a large part of their current life which keeps them stuck.
It’s worth looking at your life to see if you are allowing things from the past keeping you under their influence, sometimes you’re not even aware of it.
Yes everything in your past happened, back then – not now.
If you choose, and you do choose, to re-live something from the past, you are keeping it alive today. And not just as a memory, but as an active part of your life today.
The question is, do you really want to keep reliving the past?
Do you really want to continue to bring it up over and over, and give it power today?
You don’t have to.
You don’t have to let it stop your future progress or continue to hurt you.
Your past is actually only a memory, not the director of your life today.
It’s what happened then, based on who your were then, you are different now.
But you can’t fully move on if you keep reliving past regrets, anger, mistakes or whatever.
You are only hurting yourself by holding on to any past negative feelings.
What you think and feel about something is of your own making. Something that happens does not come with a set of pre determined emotions attached.
You chose what to think and feel about it when it happened and you choose today.
You are what you think about, what you focus on.
When you keep focus on a past event, feeling or perspective, you are bringing it alive today.
It is not forcing itself on to you, you are bringing it up.
We’ve all had things happen that are painful, devastating and regretful but they do not need to be relived today.
If you want to grow, prosper and be happy in life look at your past as a way to learn about life and yourself.
What can you learn from something that happened or that you did or didn’t do?
It may be how not to do something again, or to do it differently.
Maybe to look at things differently, make different choices.
It’s done, over, finished, let it be what it was in the past and allow yourself to move on – to grow and develop into all you can be.
You can’t change anything from the past, and continuing to dwell on it now will not do anything except keep you reliving the same emotional feelings you had when it happened.
There are lessons available in all that we do and in all that comes into our life, seek them not a rerun of how you felt.
There are also lessons of forgiveness, understanding and acceptance in our past, which can be very powerful.
To let others and yourself off the hook and move on.
If you could change what happened in the past, then dwelling on it now may be of some value but you can’t. However, you can change how you think and feel today.
If you don’t like something from the past, why would you want to have it continue? For the misery, self-punishment, to rejoice in your resentment or hatred?
All these only hurt you every time you subject yourself to all the same debilitating emotions.
Let go and move on.
It’s really a choice – yours!
Don’t dwell on what you can’t change, dwell on what you can change – today.
“The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience.” — Les Brown
“Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” — Dennis Waitley
“Having looked the past in the eye, having asked for forgiveness and having made amends, let us shut the door on the past–not in order to forget it but in order not to allow it to imprison us.” — Desmond Tutu
Let me ask you a question,
What do you think about yourself and your capabilities?
Are you following your dreams or are you letting them remain dormant because you’re not sure of yourself?
What do you believe you are capable of?
What about all those ideas you have of things you would like to do?
Are they really viable?
Why else would you have the ideas that you have?
Why else would they have come to you?
You are here to express yourself in a unique way and how would you know what that was if not for your thoughts.
Your thoughts of curiosity, of interest, of desire to do and be, are your calling.
Your purpose waving its hand – pay attention to me!
I’m not talking about egotistical, selfish or anything else based on instant gratification. You need to be careful about your thoughts and ideas, some may be ego based and not related to your life purpose.
When you become to understand yourself you are able to distinguish between your feelings and ideas, having strong feelings about what you should be doing.
But when you feel this way and yet you do not allow yourself to follow through with your purpose rooted ideas, you can become very frustrated.
We all have ideas about what we would like to do, why do some break loose and allow themselves to fully express those ideas, and some do not.
I think most of what holds us back is a lack of confidence in our ability to carry them out, since many are things we have no experience doing.
Many times we think all those ideas would be nice if they ‘happened’ to us, but we don’t see them as something we can actually pursue.
We believe stronger in our feelings that we don’t know how or have the time or resources than we do in the possibility of being able to fins a way to accomplish what we think.
We believe that they are just nice ideas, not something we can and should be doing.
Another way to look at these ideas is that they are a challenge directly aimed at you.
Since you have the ideas, they are something you can do, if you believe you can.
And you can.
Your only challenge is to accept the idea and begin moving in its direction.
You don’t need to know all about it, just move in the direction of it and be open to its possibility.
But first you must believe in your ability to do, be and have what is just an idea.
Your ideas become your reality if you allow yourself to be carried by them.
So often people allow fears, doubts and worries be the overriding force in their life rather than the idea.
Fears are ideas as well and can be enhanced, followed and experienced if we choose.
Which way do you want to live?
Furthering your ideas or your fears?
It’s really just a choice, as long as you believe in the purpose of your ideas.
These ideas come into your mind for a reason, the universe, God is trying to tell you something about how you can fully express yourself.
Take a hard look at what you believe about yourself and your capabilities.
“A basket full of bread sits on your head; yet you go from door to door begging for crusts. Attend to your own head. Knock on your heart’s door.” – Rumi
“Ideas can be life-changing. Sometimes all you need to open
the door is just one more good idea.” — Jim Rohn
“Ideas are like stars; you will not succeed in reaching them with
your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you
choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your
destiny.” — Carl Schurz
“There are plenty of good ideas
if only they can be backed with the power of action.” — Winston Churchill
Some thoughts I had thinking about “Crocodile Hunter”, Steve Irwin after his passing.
I have admired him for some time and now that I know more about him, that thinking has just increased.
Yesterday, the “Discovery Channel” replayed a series of shows about Steve done previously, which give a lot of detail about his life.
As was his custom, he was very open about himself, who he was and insight about his parents and how he grew up, very worth seeing if you were at all interested in him.
Learning about Steve and his life, you quickly realize that he was allowed and actually assisted in fully immersing himself in what he loved.
When he was about 10 years old he was out with his father hunting for ‘crocs’ for their new zoo, when young Steve jumps into the water latching onto a crocodile that was larger than he was, refusing to let go. His father pulled both Steve and the ‘croc’ into the boat together! It was a small crocodile, but it was pulling young Steve under the water.
Now some of you might be thinking, what an irresponsible parent his father was. I can see your perspective.
But let’s look at it a little differently.
He was allowing Steve to grow into his passion with out developing the mentally concocted fears, doubts and worries that so many of us end up with by the time we are ‘adults’ looking to find our way.
Steve developed his ‘way’ as he grew up and his passion was allowed to flourish.
The wisdom of his parents was to see Steve’s interests and allow him to follow them.
Most parents would not get an 8+ foot Python for a 6-year-old!
Most parents would be spending their time trying to get him to conform to their ‘acceptable’ behavior.
Not too loud, not too rambunctious, not too off the beaten path.
There is no doubt, after seeing him in action, that Steve was not totally passionate and fully committed to what he was doing.
He was energetic, intense and focused when he was working, of course it was what he loved.
How many adults can say that about what they are doing?
No, I don’t mean to say that everybody has to be as animated as Steve, but what about his level of passion.
Steve’s chosen trade would be considered extreme by most, since he was putting himself in physical danger regularly, most fields of endeavor are not quite this potentially dangerous.
But how can you relate to the passion, the drive, the focus and the commitment that he exuded?
Aside from Steve’s mission with animals, we can all learn from how he lived his life.
His zest for life in general and intensity for what he was doing specifically go hand in hand, and can be used as a gauge for you and your life.
Think about how Steve Irwin lived his life. What about that appeals to you?
What would it feel like to have this kind of intensity and passion for something?
What are you passionate about? Can you become more involved in it?
Can you alter how you participate in it, to increase your level of excitement?
Do you have fears, doubts and worries that hold you back?
What can you do about them?
When you are excited with what you do, it rubs off on everything else in your life.
How about your children, how do you look at what they are interested in? Do you help them or hinder them for your convenience?
Steve felt his mission was to help people come to better understand and appreciate wild animals, as he felt people would strive to protect what they cared about.
What is your mission, and how can you get passionate about it?
How would Steve do it?
Just as Steve learned about human behavior studying animals, we can learn by studying other people.
I suggest keeping your eye out for when Discovery Channel replays the series on his life and that you watch it if you want to get some ideas on living your life to the fullest.
Now. . . take a moment to be thankful for Steve and what he has done and send your thoughts of love to his wife, children, parents and others who were close as they deal with his passing.
“If we are not passionate about expanding our consciousness, there’s a good chance our narrowness will destroy us.” — Tijn Touber
“Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction. Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing; And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.” — Kahlil Gibran
“A man/woman should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought forces upon the object which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. — James Allen
“Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can
immediately command when we focus all of our resources on
mastering a single area of our lives.” — Anthony Robbins
“And I’m really grateful to have something that I’m passionate about and that I think is profoundly important.” — Marian Wright Edelman
Do it quickly after you have reached a goal. The rewards are most effective if immediate. Plus it creates the break you want right then, not tomorrow.
Allow time for yourself when doing for others. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in doing things for others that we bypass ourselves. This can feed stress build up. Treat yourself to a self moment periodically.
Do it often. This can depend on the size of the reward. Do small things often and larger ones less frequently but regularly.
Vary the rewards. Remember they are meant to be special. But of course only you can decide this. If taking time for sipping a cup of coffee each day is enjoyable, fine. But do add some variety also.
Break the routine of your tasks. Maybe allow yourself one part of a day to not do what you had scheduled.
Space the rewards somewhat evenly with in your tasks so that you don’t get stuck in long periods without an attitude lift.
Also, space the work out evenly within the rewards; don’t allow yourself to put off the more difficult parts to the end. You will be setting yourself up for stress and meltdown, or avoidance!
Don’t punish yourself for having to do what you have chosen, you can choose to enjoy the process.
“One characteristic of winners is they always look upon
themselves as a do it yourself project.”
— Denis Waitley
There is a seemingly small thing that you can be doing to yourself that makes things less enjoyable.
It can determine the difference in how you feel while you are doing something laborious or difficult, trying to accomplish something, or even affect your overall disposition.
It’s how you treat yourself, or how you don’t treat yourself.
Do you tend to be a taskmaster with yourself?
Do you allow yourself to feel rushed and stressed, and thinking there is no time for yourself to enjoy what you are doing?
Many times when we are faced with doing something that we have decided is absolutely necessary, we get so intense with it that we are not just not happy, we are noticeably unhappy.
Who says that we must be unhappy, even when we are doing something that we think is important?
Feeling bad about what you must do is like punishing yourself for doing it.
It may actually be hard but hard does not mean bad or negative.
Everything is not easy, so learn to enjoy it all.
Remember that life is a process.
So when you are working on changing yourself, or you trying to accomplish something, don’t be so hard on yourself.
Who says you have to be miserable during the process before you have changed or accomplished what you want?
Why not reward yourself as you go along.
This can help reduce the stress of a lengthy process, but actually it can help you actually come to enjoy the process you are in.
You want to do more than just remove the negative feelings, that would just bring you to neutral, rather you want to add the positive happy feelings.
You can purposefully build in a rewards system for yourself.
Set smaller goals within the larger task of project as points where you can pull away from the intensity for a bit and enjoy something.
This also gives you the feeling of accomplishment sooner than waiting for the whole thing to be done.
Choose carefully what to use for your reward, make sure it is not something that will bring on additional problems or stress.
Don’t use eating a huge meal if overeating is something you are watching.
Or don’t go drinking with your buddies if your wife is already edgy about you doing it.
Maybe you usually rush at breakfast, take one day to take your time.
Allow yourself a long lunch with a friend.
Go out and do something fun that you have been putting off.
Anything that breaks the flow and that gives you a little joy will work wonders for your attitude and enjoyment of the life process.
And remember, the more time you think about something the more affect it will have on your life.
So, work on your daily enjoyment from both ends, reduce the poor stressed attitude and increase the happy one.
“Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies
important ongoing activity.” — Paul Goodman
“Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our
abundance.” — John Petit-Senn
“Once we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in
our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in
life.” — Harry Hepner
“Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” — Dennis Waitley
Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do.
Have you thought about how your life is a mirror, reflecting what you think?
This has been stated in different ways:
You are what you think, you get what you project.
Your thinking, your state of mind and your actions always elicit a response in your life, continuously -all the time, everything – always.
Your power comes with your ability to take command of your thought and actions.
This is how you have influence on your life’s experience.
If you allow your mind to be a “random action machine,” you will get random results that you must then deal with.
Take notice of what you are doing and the results you are living with? Are they what you really want?
Why not take charge of your thinking and learn to direct it in ways that support your purpose, your deep inner feelings about what you should be doing with your life.
When you are noticing that there are things going on in your life that you are not so pleased with, take a look at yourself.
Ask, “what can I think and do differently that will affect what I experience?”
Your ability to think about what you want whenever you want, is the result of your self-discipline being in command over random thought.
Here is a poem by William Arthur Ward that clearly states what you can do to see specific results.
Truths For Living
William Arthur Ward
The more generous we are,
the more joyous we become.
The more cooperative we are,
the more valuable we become.
The more enthusiastic we are,
the more productive we become.
The more serving we are,
the more prosperous we become.
The more outgoing we are,
the more helpful we become.
The more curious we are,
the more creative we become.
The more patient we are,
the more understanding we become.
The more persistent we are,
the more successful we become.
Doesn’t that do something to put it in perspective?
Action – Reaction,
Input – output,
Your purposeful thought and action precede the evidence you want.
This poem is a mini self-improvement guide if you’re looking to reduce stress and anxiety, and increase your happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
Don’t go looking at the reflection, the evidence, to change without your changing.
“The universe is transformation: our life is what our thoughts make it. — Marcus Aurelius
“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” — Anne Dillard”
What is your mind doing all day long when you are doing what you do?
It is very common to find yourself asking yourself questions, which is a very powerful personal growth tool that you should be using.
If that is, if you want to discover ways to improve your life and reduce your stress and anxiety.
But, many times the questions that you are asking yourself are more of the negative vein.
Why does this always happen to me?
What is wrong with me?
Why don’t they like me?
Why is it always so hard for me?
Why can’t I always screw up?
Why do they do this to me?
Now, can see that these seem innocent enough, but they are actually very damaging if you persist with this line of questioning.
It is actually a form of complaining.
When you continuously repeat those kinds of questions you are just reinforcing what you don’t want.
These are actually negative affirmations that you are hammering in to your mind.
There is a way to reverse this negative thought bombardment on your mind.
You need to become aware of your mind chatter and what you say to yourself all day long.
This way you will catch these innocent questions early before repeating them for a time.
Now these are natural questions that come up when you are in certain situations, this is natural.
But the trick is to quickly flop them around to an opposite positive statement of something you do want.
Then when you say this positive statement or question you are actually seeking a solution based response from your inner self and the universe.
What can I do to help them to like me?
What is the best way to do this?
What can I do to do this well?
What outcome do I want with this?
How can I get the outcome I want?
What can I do right now to change the way I think about this?
Of course you can get more specific to the situation at hand.
Flipping a negative question is easy, just rewrite it based on what you want.
With any thing you don’t want, like, have, feel or do – you can then look to its opposite – what you do want.
That is what you should be keeping your mind on.
Your subconscious and the universe responds to your thoughts.
Take command of your thoughts and guide your life experience to how you want it.
“Whatever commands our time, energy and resources, commands
us.” — Tom Sine
“He who cannot command himself should obey. And many can command themselves, but much is still lacking before they can obey themselves.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
“The answers you receive
depend upon the questions you ask.” — Thomas Kuhn
“Great minds ask great questions.” — Michael Gelb
“If we would have new knowledge, we must get a whole world
of new questions.” — Susanne K. Langer
“Every clarification breeds new questions.” — Arthur Bloch
“The word question is derived from the Latin quarrier (to seek)
which is the same root as the word for quest. A creative life is
a continued quest, and good questions can be very useful guides.
Most useful are open-ended questions; they allow for fresh
unanticipated answers to reveal themselves.” — Source Unknown
“Asking the proper question is the central action of
transformation… Questions are the key that cause the secret
doors of the psyche to swing open.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes
You’ve heard the statements like, “knowledge is power” I’m sure, but I hope you haven’t fallen for it!
You know how, many times, when someone says something, there is more to it than the apparent statement they just made. There is more that is assumed.
Well, the statements about knowledge being power do not explain the entire concept; there’s more to it.
So, here is the rest of the story —
What exactly can knowledge do when not utilized? Well, it can be stored, cataloged and even checked on periodically, to make sure it is still there – and it can be shared with others.
And isn’t this the same whether the knowledge is in our mind or on a shelf? If you have the all the knowledge to build a house and you never build a house, what power does that knowledge have?
Now if you pass the information on to someone else that actually uses it to build a house, you could say that you were instrumental in playing a part in getting the house build. But I want to address what knowledge can do for you directly here.
Isn’t unused knowledge in your mind just like a book on the shelf, just being stored there? If you are a doctor who knows how to save the life of a person having a massive heart attack, but you don’t even attempt — what value have you offered that person?
Isn’t your power in that actual use of your knowledge and skills? It certainly is for the person suffering the heart attack! How much power do you really possess with stored knowledge and even skills unused? Not much for our heart attack victim!
This analogy applies exactly the same way for your life and what you know ‘about’ life, but don’t use. If you’re like most, you have vast volumes of information and knowledge that you have collected, but not used.
Am I right? Look at yourself – and be honest with yourself here.
How can I be so on-the-money with this statement? The facts!
Research statistics have shown that 97% of people acquiring self-improvement information DO NOT USE IT! I didn’t make this up! And I was one of the 97% for a long time as well as the many people I’ve seen professing to be working on personal growth through the years.
All gaining far more information than what was actually getting applied to the point of getting the desired results. It can be different if you choose. Choose to use what knowledge you acquire to get actual results.
And another point here, wouldn’t it be better for you to utilize what others before you have already come up with that works, over someone just telling you ‘about’ it?
If you were studying to become a surgeon who would you rather learn from, one who has read all the books or one who has done it? I know which one I would hope you learned from if I were your patient!
“There are two modes of acquiring knowledge, namely by reasoning
and experience. Reasoning draws a conclusion and makes us grant
the conclusion, but does not make the conclusion certain, nor
does it remove doubt so that the mind may rest on the intuition
of truth, unless the mind discovers it by the path of experience.”
— Roger Bacon
Many tools and methods can be followed that will give you results if you put in the effort.
There is an effective system that seems to work well, science. How does a scientist look at a task?
After they get an idea and form a hypothesis about it, what do they do next? They research the topic of their hypothesis for what is already known about it up to this point.
Why? Simple, right — they want to take what is currently known and go from there with their own research. Use what is known to build upon.
Why should they start from the beginning, ignoring what is now known, when they can be several steps ahead? Plus any practices and methods developed by others are utilized to speed up progress.
Again, this applies to your life. Find and use tools and methods that have already shown to yield results for others.
Have you noticed yet a pattern to what I am describing here? Here’s a huge ‘secret key’ to understanding how your life works. Look at how everything else works, it all works the same way.
The systems operating within the universe are repeated in various aspects and manners. The same system is repeated in societies, in families, work groups, in relationships and your individual life, but also in all of nature.
Have you ever wondered why the computer systems that man has developed is so much like the human brain? Hmmm! You know your brain is an electrical device operating millions of microscopic switches!
With this in mind here is something to ponder. With a computer, what is easier to do — allowing the operating system to function in the ways already set up, or get it to do something new and entirely different?
New programs or changes in the operating system do not happen without some specific conscious effort. Hmmm, sounds like my brain!
I have a theory about why only about 3% of people actually utilize the knowledge and known affective methods brought about by others — We each want to be independent and unique from others. And this is supported by our belief that we are in fact different from others.
From this we think that we want to and have to, do it all uniquely for ourselves by ourselves.
I think most of us tend to have this independent streak where we think much of our power is based on our independence, our self-reliance.
I think this is supported by what is called our EGO, which wants to keep us comfortable and feeling self-important at almost any cost. This keeps us separated, in our mind, from others and the universe which we are actually but a part of.
Stop trying to do it all on your own. Take a clue from the system of science that we have come to understand and use quite well, and use this in your life.
Whatever ideas you have about how your life CAN be, look for information and the methods that others have already developed on the subject — and utilize them for yourself. Just imagine if every auto manufacturer had to re-invent the wheel for every new car model?
Don’t do this in your life.
“There are plenty of good ideas if only they can be backed with the power of action.”
— Winston Churchill
The KEY here is to USE it, not just acquire it. Acquiring information has a certain satisfaction of accomplishment that comes with it. This may be one reason why we stop there and not go on to actually use the information for some good.
My personal intention is to help increase the 3% statistic to 5%, then 10%, then to 20% and beyond. Can you imagine what our world will be like if 20% of the people were actually growing and developing themselves on a regular daily basis, just using the knowledge that is currently available?
Imagine how much good will be available to influence other people? But it starts with each of us individually developing a deeper understanding, a knowing only obtained through our experience of doing something with our knowledge.
How about you, are you ready to truly enjoy your ever-expanding possibilities and positively affect others with your life?
Then you need to stop just collecting more and more information, and find the pertinent knowledge, existing tools and methods that you can use to slingshot your growth at speeds you have not yet known.
Get out of your own way and allow the intention of the universal spirit to flow unobstructed through your life.
But you must make a big choice, will it be either collecting or using? Collecting can give you that false sense of accomplishment. “Wow, look at all that I have acquired!”
The power is in the using, acquisition is just a step in the process — don’t get stuck there.
“How you gather, manage and use information will determine whether you win or lose.”
— Bill Gates
“Action has a way of increasing opportunity, while procrastination and
inaction always inhibit success.”
— The Millionaires Library
“The undertaking of a new action
brings new strength.”
Today I have an inspirational and thought provoking story to share with you, and I don’t have an originating source.
It’s a short story, take a look – it’s worth it!
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
“I love it,” he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
“Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.”
“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” he replied.
“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of
Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.
“It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up.
I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account.
You withdraw from what you’ve put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.
I am still depositing.
” Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Procrastination holding you back?
Many times when you want to do something and you attempt to do activities towards the new, you find it to be very difficult. It may even appear that you are stopping yourself. Well many times you are!
Procrastination is usually based on some block you have about doing something based on a fear, or some sort of confusion about what to do.
As to being confused, the mind can hold us back if we think we must know everything clearly before proceeding. This needing to know everything, based on the fear of the unknown, is just our rationalization of what we perceive.
To move ahead, you need to get yourself to mentally allow yourself to proceed with what you do know, with the faith that additional clarity will continue to be revealed as you proceed towards the goal. The key here is that you must start, you must do something, whatever you know now.
As to the blocks, there are many potential things in your mind that can be the basis of a block. As you said, fear of rejection, also fear of success, failure, feeling you don’t deserve it, aren’t capable, don’t know how, what will others think, and the new endeavor not fitting into your perception of yourself based on the past or self-concept.
The way to get over these blocks, as with any thing is to face them. Don’t continue to bury them. They must be brought up, faced, analyzed and understood. At one time the feelings or thought habits served a purpose, but you can decide it they are appropriate for you today. If they are not, thank them for serving you in the past and let them go.
Decide on a new perception and attitude regarding the future. Those old things can be converted into mere memories rather than controlling programs for today.
Seek to see the feelings clearly in a positive curious way.
I suggest asking yourself questions, but phrase them in the positive not the negative. Ask from the perspective of seeking revealing and helpful answers not from the point of frustration or resentment.
Ask yourself questions such as,
What are my feelings about ____?
Why do I feel this way?
What purpose are these feelings?
Then ask again to the answers you get – then why do I feel this way? – and again and again, to drill down to the deeper root feeling and original seed, beginning of the feelings.
Why did I need to do this then, for what purpose?
How does this serve me now?
How else can I feel about this today?
Vary the questions as appropriate for you but continue to be persistent with this but relaxed at the same time. Do not try to force yourself.
Give it time, you may not get a clear answer the first time asking, your ego mind my want to protect you from any potential discomfort, which is why the feelings are buried in the first place.
Just keep asking calmly and tell yourself to be open to what ever needs to come up for you to clearly understand this.
There are other things you can do to help discover the blocks and change the habits, like hypnotherapy and the related NLP, meditation, brain wave work, EFT techniques and more.
If you are not having good results by yourself get some assistance with it, because until you can change the way your brain is dealing with these thoughts they will continue in the same way.
You are at the first crucial step, you recognize that something is there in your mind that does not properly support where you want to go on your life. It would not rise up as it has if it did not need to be dealt with.
One more thing is don’t allow yourself to be resentful of those feelings or habits, remember that at one time in the past they served you for some reason. Bless them and let them go so that you will have space to set up a new way to think about it. If you are angry or resentful you will actually continue to focus on what you no longer want and it will persist!
What you resist, persists!
Seek to understand, analyze and let go, create the new concept that allows you to move forward.
Reformatting habits established in the past is part of our ongoing growth process – if you look at it as such.
Welcome change even if it feels uncomfortable. It’s only uncomfortable because your ego doesn’t want you to feel bad. You must step through it or you will always stay as you are.