Category Archives for "Main Page"

April 5, 2007

Do your thoughts fly in formation?

I’m sure you have seen how geese fly in a V formation when they are traveling between their summer and winter homes. I was thinking about this and how well it relates to our thoughts.

Are your thoughts going in formation towards a common goal like geese on a mission or are they scattered? You know that what you will be living tomorrow will be the direct result of what you think about right now.

The geese make it to their destination, hundreds of miles, because they are all joined together focused on one specific mission.

What do you think would be the result if each goose had a different agenda, a different path they were trying to follow? They would not get to any one destination, if when each goose would take their position at the point of the V they would steer the group in a different direction. They would just end up going all over the place, never knowing where they would end up.

If they never stuck with any one destination long enough to actually get there, they would not end up anywhere specific. Where they found themselves at any moment would be where they were at that moment and this would always be the case, unless by some accident they made a destination, but would they know they were somewhere they wanted to be?

Four key elements are present in the flying behavior of geese that are worth looking at in terms of how your thoughts support your personal growth and development.

1) The consensus of your thought

This is like the cooperation a group of geese exhibits in order to succeed at the journey. Do all your thoughts converge and contribute to the same goal? If some of your thoughts are towards something you desire, some towards what you no longer want, some towards your fears and doubts, and some just distracted by something going on today, what is the consensus of these thoughts? Confusion, disharmony and no particular direction is like being all over the map.

In their V formation aren’t all the birds going in the same direction, keeping close together supporting one another in their single minded pursuit of their intention in order to succeed as a whole group? Each goose is committed to the same intention and each supports the others just as all you thoughts should be.

2) Thought energy invested

While the birds take turns being the lead so that one bird does not bear the brunt of the energy needed to break the wind, all the birds end up contributing to the whole with their energy focused on the one goal. The more they can put their energy into flying in the one direction, the quicker they arrive. This equates to how much of your thought time and emotional energy is focused on your destination

Just like flying the geese, the amount time and emotional energy you focus on the desired direction dictates when and if you will reach the goal. Constant change of focus from what you do want to what you don’t want, to something distracting, to uncertainty is not giving enough thought and emotional energy to what you want. Like the geese you will be somewhere different but it will not likely be very far from where you started, so the scenery will be much the same.

3) Clearly defined and tended to intention or destination

Of course, you need a specific thing, place and reason, this seems simple, but not always quite so in practice. Clear definition is very important, you need to have intention, a target, a goal in order to have something to focus on. But another aspect of this is the clouds. Are you sticking to it clearly and concisely or are you distracted by the clouds? The geese can keep on course and fly through the clouds because they don’t allow themselves to get distracted.

If you allow yourself to get distracted by too much of the daily stuff that goes on in everyone’s life, what is your actual focus? Is it not disjointed and unclear? All the daily goings on can be a huge factor in breaking your focus, thus leading you to place thought and energy on many other things which do not support or contribute to your declared intention.

Just like the geese you need to stick with something long enough with enough energy and clearly to actually get there. Whenever you allow your attention to lock on to something else, there is no energy going to the destination, and it may actually be going away from it as the result of other certain thought focus, such as doubt, fear and worry.

4) Single minded commitment and persistence

This should be clear, but so many people either gives up too soon or they switch gears too often to actually realize any of the desired results. The geese must fly in one direction for how many days to reach their destination? Every day until they get there! Think about it, if there is a lot of head wind they may not make many miles in a day, but they must keep going – they must, it’s life or death. Do geese take side trips? I don’t think so.

Until you persist in spite of your frustrations, doubts and setbacks you will not get there. Whenever you stop, you are guaranteeing that you will not get there. And you will never know how close you were when you did.

If the geese stop flying for a week, how much closer to their destination do they get?

If the geese change directions often, how much closer do they get?

If the geese can’t get together on where they are going, how close do they get?

If all of the geese don’t apply themselves to the one common focus, how close do they get?

If the geese gave up after 2 days and changed direction, where will they be?

Thousands of geese change living habitats twice a year because they are programmed to do all the right things that get them there – they don’t mess it up by allowing distractions to knock them off course.

If geese can do this, why not you. What’s their secret? The only difference is that you have free will and choice. Yes, you have the ability to choose NOT to clearly focus and persist towards your target, the goose does not.

But you can choose to do as they do and succeed on a regular basis. It’s up to you to watch and take command of your everyday thinking if you want your life to be on purpose. Think about how the geese accomplish their twice a year trek over hundreds of miles and how you can use their behavior to get where you want. You have the choice to do or not, it’s all in how you take command of your thinking. Get to where you can place most of your thoughts in a V formation with each supporting the lead or main directing idea and target?

Clearly define your target

Build single-minded focus, get your thoughts in formation,

Watch your thoughts, DAILY, for focus and distraction

Take command of your thinking, drop un-supportive thoughts, and add supportive thoughts

Persist until you get there


April 1, 2007

Planet Earth

Wow, I saw the latest episode of ‘Planet Earth’ on the Discovery Channel. What wonderful photography, I don’t have a digital TV but the picture seems to be of higher quality than with most of what is on the tube. Must be the type of cameras they used in the filming.

Also the way the vignettes and the narration is put together is very appealing, it kept my attention

Understanding more about the intricacies of nature can lead to a better understanding of how you function. We share many characteristics with other living things on earth. To understand nature is to understand yourself.

This is well worth watching


March 29, 2007

Feel Better, Stop All The Complaining

Have you heard about the ‘Complaint free Bracelet’ yet?

It was initiated by one person and has exploded!

Oprah did a segment on it during Tuesday’s show, she spoke with the originator of this great idea, a minister in Kansas City, US.

The minister and his group have fulfilled over 2.3 million requests for bracelets.

They are making rubber wristbands, similar to others you have seen around that people use to remind themselves of various things.

The concept with the ‘No Complaint’ bracelet/wristband is this: You put it on one wrist and leave it there until you complain about something. Then you must move it to your other wrist.

Each time you catch yourself complaining about anything, you move it to the other wrist.

The goal is to have it remain on one wrist for 21days, which means that you have not complained about anything for 21 days.

The reason for 21 days is that many feel that it takes 21 days to establish a new habit.

What a wonderful idea, train yourself to not complain – at all!

Have you ever considered how destructive it is to complain?

The complainer is the one who really suffers.

Think about this, if you get more of what you think about – what happens when you complain?

How about your attitude? What is your attitude when you complain?

And your perspective? How have you allowed yourself to look at things?

Does complaining, with the emotional and physical repercussion do anything to support your being happy in life?

Does it support anything good and positive?

Complaining is just a bad habit that drags you down the road of focusing on negativity rather on positive, supportive and progressive thoughts.

You get more of what you think about – what will complaining get you?

The time you use complaining is time you are not feeling joy and peace. You are not living in the moment.

You are stealing time from thinking about and supporting what you DO want.

Complaining helps you remain stuck in what you now have rather than progressing forward.

You are also bringing up negative emotions, which affect your physical health in adverse ways.

Your negative emotions and attitude that start with your complaining will affect other thoughts and behavior.

Complaining is not solution oriented thinking. You are just rehashing something that you aren’t doing anything about.

What do you want in place of complaining?

Think about this.

If you do any complaining – just STOP. It’s not good for you. . . or anyone else!

The bracelet, that is free, is a great tool that will help you break the complaining cycle.

The bracelet project that a group of people has undertaken is helping many individuals and the world..

With fewer people complaining, it gives us all one thing less to complain about!

Go to to get one for yourself and whoever you feel could benefit from using one.

“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” — Joseph Addison

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most do” — Dale Carnegie.

Consider the complaint bracelet.

Use it as a tool to assist with ending your habit of complaining.

Take the challenge to be able to keep it on one wrist for 21 days. You should be well on your way to changing your habit in regard to automatic complaining.

After the 21 days, why not keep it on longer, just to be sure that you firmly cement into your thinking a new way of thinking and talking about what you use to complain about.

In eliminating your complaining, change the way you look at things. Take on a new way of looking at situations that you would have complained about. What other viewpoint and attitude can you have?

What has occurred just IS. Your reaction and complaint is entirely your choice as to how to see it.

Choose to see it from a more solution oriented viewpoint, or in just letting it go. Just because something happened or someone did something does not mean that you must have a reaction and ruminate about it over and over.

Be aware that one of the toughest situations to keep yourself from complaining is when you are around others who regularly complain. Many times we get into gripe sessions with others, even trying to outdo the other with a more extravagant complaint.

Try to remain neutral, not getting involved. In time the others many stop including you in these sessions since you are not goaded by their complaining and you don’t offer you own.

It can also be helpful to introduce the complaint ending process to others to reduce what you are exposed to from them.

Like anything, this will take some attention and effort.

Another thing the wrist band will do for you, is to help you to become more acutely aware of what you are thinking and doing throughout the day. This is another reason to keep up with it after your initial success with 21 days.

Go for it – give it a try.

No – just do it, try really means maybe!

Commit to doing it, be patient with yourself but persistent.

Just don’t stop and success will be inevitable.

It is free, but do consider donating to the group to assure they can keep this going.

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses” — Tom Wilson.

“Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it” — Anthony D’Angelo

“The life that conquers is the life that moves with a steady

resolution and persistence toward a predetermined goal. Those

who succeed are those who have thoroughly learned the immense

importance of planning in life, and the tragic brevity of time.” — WJ Davison

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” — Calvin Coolidge

“Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.” — Dennis Waitley

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” — Thomas Carlyle

What do you think?

Is complaining a problem for you?

For others?


March 17, 2007

More about how the people around you affect your thought and behavior.

At the end of last month I shared some ideas regarding who you allow to influence you.

There is another way in which who you are around can have a profound affect on you.

Did you know that it is much easier for the son or daughter of a doctor to become a doctor than someone who does not have such a role model?

And I’m not talking about the ability to pay for all the schooling, rather a persons belief that they can do or be something. The child of the doctor may actually have more difficulty with the academic studies than a person from east LA with one parent struggling to cover the basic needs, but they will have a stronger vision of what’s possible for them.

There are many interesting nuances present when we are around successful people. Think about the life you were living when you were growing up. Is there any question in your mind about whether you could do the same for yourself? No, you can easily live as your parents did, in fact you very likely will without even realizing it, unless you figure out that you have the ability to do something different.

You have been around that life all your life, you know it well. you have experienced it and you have seen how others experience it. You are intimate with it, it permeates your subconscious and conscious mind

Your self-image is tied to this life as is your perspective on most things. Your mind has become programmed through the filter of this lifestyle.

Is it any wonder that very few young people from lower socioeconomic households become professionals or business owners. This is certainly not always the case but statistically it is. They have not had the advantage of being exposed to the successful example.

When you grow up having a parent that is, say a doctor, you then know first hand what a doctor is like. What their work entails, the kind of person they are, where they life, how they live, how they interact with others, how they handle money, how they handle problems, the things they do with their time, etc.

A person not close to this does not see and internalize much of these traits at all, they only take in perspectives ABOUT the doctor based on what they see from a distance, which is filtered through their lifestyle experience.

Your ego, the part of your mind that tends to protect you from anything uncomfortable, will try to keep you away from the unknown. So the more you know about what it is like to be a person who is a doctor the less resistance or ‘protection’ you will get from your ego.

If you want to succeed at something it becomes very important to get exposed to the people and situations that relate to what you desire in your life, in fact just broadening your exposure to many different people and activities can help you to determine you desires. Being able to ‘see’ something from a more intimate exposure gives your mind better ways to make the deeper connections that lead to your ability to imagine this for yourself.

The clearer the ‘pictures’ in your mind of yourself being like what you see, the more powerful your thoughts are. You confidence to make the first step is boosted by how much you can see and feel yourself doing it.

No matter your age, if you want to be doing something specific with your life, you need to look hard at who you should be around that can help influence you in a positive way. When you can watch other people close up doing something it becomes easier for you to see it for yourself. Over a period of time it seems commonplace to you. This also goes for any behavior good or not so good. I’m sure you have noticed that you can tend to copy at least somewhat, attitudes, perspective and behavior of people you have spent a lot of time with.

If you want to make a change, you will need to gradually reduce the influence of people that don’t fit in with your desires and add in people that do. As an extreme example, a group of people sitting around the local store with “bottle in bag” commiserating about how unjust the world is are not supportive or constructive to your becoming a doctor.

Find someone who does what you want to do, get familiar with them and what they are like, see what they do and why, get a feeling for their perspectives. Find people who do something similar, they will exhibit similar traits and behaviors. Associate with those who are supportive of your ability to step into what you want.

The proper influence from other people can help you to establish a clear intent for yourself. Your thoughts are the seeds that the universal spirit responds to. What are you thinking? That you clearly CAN do it or that you can’t see it for yourself?

It’s up to your choice and your actions to move yourself towards becoming who you want to be, it won’t just happen., your clear intent, your “seed” must be planted first. Allow others to help you clarify this for yourself.


“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” — Stephen Covey

“If we do not rise to the challenge of our unique capacity to shape our lives, to seek the kinds of growth that we find individually fulfilling, then we can have no security: We will live in a world of sham, in which our selves are determined by the will of others, in which we will be constantly buffeted and increasingly isolated by the changes round us.” — Nena O’Neil

“We cannot consistently perform at a level inconsistent with our own self image” –Dr. Joyce Brothers

How can you use this idea:

Take a look at your situation.

What about your current interaction with people? Do they support your desired life or not?

Take a look at who you are presently around and how they affect and influence you.

Is it supportive of what you want for yourself or not.

What are you like around them?

Is this how you want to be?

What and who do you want to be like?

Who has these traits?

How can you get closer to them, spend more time around them?

Make this your intent –

To spend time around the people who do what you want to do and those who support your desired change.

To assimilate some of the characteristics of those who already are doing it.

To intimately see how their perspectives, behaviors and thinking support what they do, and how those attributes can support you doing the same.


“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ”What’s in it for me?”” — Brian Tracy

March 6, 2007

Are getting caught up in thought and emotion gobbling stuff?

The headline on my Comcast homepage reads, “American Idol” Flap: Barba vs Frenchie.

Now lets see, in the scheme of your life, and what you want in your life, is this all worth your time, attention, thought and emotional involvement?

Whatever you think about revealing pictures floating around showing two people that have been on the American Idol show, is it something that contributes to your life.

We are bombarded all the time with news on this and that. What are the Hollywood stars and musicians doing in their life today? Who did what and to whom? I know It’s all very tantalizing to read, but is it worth it?

And particularly when you get emotionally charged about it one way or another, this can use and misdirect a lot of energy that could be better applied. It’s so easy to get boiled over about what the actors, musicians and sports stars are doing or not doing – I’m sure you have an opinion. But does that mean you need to use your time expressing it?

What he/she did today – So what! Let them be – you can’t do anything about it anyway. In the off chance you can, then get with it.

Here’s the thing, what you focus your thoughts and emotions on expands in your life. And the amount of time and energy you focus on something has a direct correlation on the affect it has on your life.

This may seem silly to think that thinking about these performers and their indiscretions, mistakes or bad choices has any bearing on your life, but it does. If nothing else, it keeps you away from thinking about something that may be more supportive to the life you want to be living yourself. How much time do you want to spend watching the lives of others at the expense of doing something purposeful with yours?

It is so easy to allow yourself to get sucked into this stuff when it is all over the news, the internet and people talk about it at work. But there is a thing called self-discipline that you have full command of. Just because you have been in the habit of giving some of your precious attention to this trivia, you don’t have to keep doing so.

If personal growth and awakening is important to you, think more about how you use your thought time. Ask the big question, “does this support my life, detract from it?” This little bit of self-analysis can do a lot for managing your time, focus and emotions.

In looking at how you use your time, it can be helpful to look at both, what you do and don’t do in terms of what you want.

Oh look, what is Britney Spears doing today, and that thing about the Dixie Chicks has risen again, and Barry Bonds, and, and . . .

What about your life? Go do your life.


March 3, 2007

Feed a Refugee & Get a FREE Poster

Are you one who is wishing for more peace and love to be expressed in the world? Soon there will be a way to have some real affect on the state of our consciousness, thought and behavior.

I just received a note from my friend Julian Kalmar that a huge project he has been working on for months is finally starting, it has to do with helping the people of the world to live in peace. I know many talk about this but feel powerless to do much about it.

How does each of us individually do anything about it? Well, I think what Julian has started will help get the masses of us, who want to do something concrete about it, together as a power that can affect change at many levels.

Now this is just beginning and like anything it will take time and effort to get it rolling. In order for there to be any power behind it many people will need to be involved. In time this project will be able to work at developing greater peace at many levels, but the show of support needs to begin now.

Following is the message Julian asked me to send out regarding the mere beginnings of the program –

You may have heard the names of Rick Beneteau or Julian Kalmar more than once around the Internet over the years. Julian is the creator of The Happiness Formula and Rick is probably best known for helping kids at Christmas since 2000 with his annual Internet Toy Drive (in affiliation with Toys for Tots).

Soon, Rick and Julian will be unveiling a project that will help millions of innocent victims of war and violence around the world. It’s a project I’ll be fully supporting in a few weeks when it launches. In the meantime, I want to share a small part of that special project with you.

*Posters of Peace* are absolutely stunning reminders of how to live a rich, and peaceful life. Each professionally designed poster contains an inspirational message from one of the great teachers of peace and you can grab a great one right now at NO COST. Not only that, but each poster helps feed and shelter war refugees!

How could a f*r*e*e poster do that, you might ask? The answer is simple: You pay ONLY a modest shipping and handling charge and an extra $2.00 to help the war refugees. You can look over the special discounts on some nice upgrade options (which further helps refugees) but you can quickly click through to redeem your no-cost poster. Quantities are extremely limited so please get one of these gorgeous posters right now:

I can’t wait to tell you about Rick and Julian’s massive project to spread peace throughout the world. In the meantime, please do take advantage of these beautiful posters before they’re all gone. You’ll get a great wall piece and you’ll help those who are in such dire need:

Thank you for helping refugees!


I urge you to help the refugees and show your support for what I believe will be the largest mass show of support and action towards world peace ever undertaken!

I will keep you posted of developments with the 10 million clicks for Peace program and the different ways for you to be involved here on this blog

Pass this message around to others that would like to see more effort put to creating a world where peace is more prevalent. The more people involved the more power and impact this will have.

Imagine what 10 million, and more, people behind a common cause can do. In this initial phase they will collect a base group of people who want to add their support to a better world, plus the benefits the poster program will have right now for people in immediate need.

If you want a world of peace, get involved now and help this effort grow in astronomical proportions – and we will have an affect!


February 28, 2007

Oprah, Ellen and “The Secret”

As most of you know by now both Oprah Winfrey and Ellen Degeneres have talked about the movie ” The Secret”

I watched both shows that Oprah had about the movie and I was impressed. And how Oprah said that she has been practicing the concept herself for years has a lot to say.

First, this is a great testimonial for how effective the concept is, Oprah has been very successful in many areas of her life using the principles.

And, she set up a second show because of the huge positive reaction to the first one. It is wonderful to see how many people recognize the power and validity of the principles “The Secret” describes.

On her first show she had the creator of the movie Rhonda Byrne along with 5 of the people who contributed to the movie; James Arthur Ray, the Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith, Lisa Nichols, and Jack Canfield.

Then on her ‘Reaction’ show she had James Arthur Ray and the Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith to give some further explanation plus they answer some questions from the audience and spoke to some recent success stories from the audience.

I think it is wonderful that Oprah has announced this to the millions who watch her show, she has the ear and respect of so many people – I applaud her, and all the efforts she makes to help people and the world.

But revealing “The Secret” is special because truly the way for the world to ‘grow up’ is one person at a time. The change must take place in the individual – each and every one of us.

I don’t want to tell you to not do things that help other people, you should do these things, and more. But work on developing yourself – become an example others will follow. And help others to do the same. The secret to a better world is individual growth and development. The huge number of people dwelling on fear, doubt and worry is more damaging to the world as a whole than anything else people do. Everything else is just a symptom of this.

Improve your thinking and your behavior will rub off on others.

Hooray for Oprah and Ellen for showing the concept of deliberate creation to their audiences, and hooray to Rhonda Byrne for getting “The Secret” movie made – it’s a good clear way to expose many people to the concepts.

The key is to learn the concepts then apply them in your life, just knowing about them will do you little good. Applying them will be life changing and powerful.

Live and grow – everyday,


February 27, 2007

Who do you allow to influence you each day?

The people that you surround yourself with have a large effect on your life. They can influence how you think and what you do.

Choose who you want to be around. What kind of life do you want to be involved in? Surround yourself with people that are related to the attributes of the life you want rather than what you don’t want.

Something I have told people for years. “I you don’t ever want to get into a bar fight, don’t go into bars.”

The places you frequent and the people in those places have an affect on you and your behavior.

Everything rubs off on you. Have you ever noticed how you will take on some characteristics of the people you are with and how this changes when you are with different people? You may act one way while at work and a different way with your mother or at a religious meeting. Who you are with and what you are doing has an affect on you at least while you are there. Think about this and what you want in your life, are you involved with the people and activities that are supportive of your deep desires for yourself?

Now you may be thinking, how can I surround myself with the people doing something particular when I am not yet doing it myself. Well sometimes this can be a challenge, but get as close as possible and continue to work your way closer, which you will be able to do as you meet more people and grow yourself.

First steps can be as simple as just spending more of your time doing something involved with what you desire rather than what you don’t. For example, if you work in construction and you normally stop by the bar after work and spend a couple hours commiserating with your work buddies and you really have a desire to be a big time stock investor, why not go home instead and get online and educate yourself and do some research. You may not be able to hang around current investors but you can prepare yourself to do so. Then you could join an investment club who welcomes beginners, and so on. You will start to meet more people as you place yourself in new situations.

In analysis, hanging out with the people at the bar will support you with what you now have in your life, if that is what you want OK then do it. But if you want something else, you must make the change, don’t expect it to just happen. The opportunity of meeting someone who could be a fantastic investment mentor is more likely to come up somewhere other than a bar, you need to put yourself in situations that are better for opportunities to present themselves. This is part of your responsibility in being ‘available’ for the opportunities that the Universal Spirit will offer you to move in the direction of your dreams.

If you keep on with things just as they have been in your life you will just get more of the same, but if you want things to change, you must change – your thinking, your behavior, your perspective, and the people you are around.

This may seem difficult right now from your current perspective, but as you spend some time with the idea, along with a feeling that there IS a way, you will gradually see things that you can do to change.

One of the potentially toughest areas to manage who you are around, is with relatives. Remember that it is ultimately up to you who you are around. You can choose how often and for how long you interact with a relative. If there are people who you see as not being supportive or even destructive to the life you want, reduce your interaction with them. You can even stand up to them and let them know that some of their behavior or what they say is not what you want to be involved. You can tell them that you don’t want to discuss certain topics when you are around. That you understand their views on the subject but that the two of you just need to agree to disagree without trying to convert each other every time you interact.

The bottom line is that just because someone is related it does not mean that you must interact with him or her. Some families seem to have a very caustic core component that is not supportive to personal growth and self-improvement, are you going to let the views of them guide your life? You may need to step away from most interactions with these people in order to get yourself free of their kind of thinking and allow yourself to change yours. The time not spent with these people can be utilized for your development into the situations of your deep desires- grows yourself.

Many successful people have noted that along the path of their growth they had to give up people that were no longer fit into the vision they had for their life. They had to find the people who did. This is part of the change process that some find difficult, leaving people who they know and are accustomed to along with trusting that they will find new people to associate with. WE do need to interact with others, that is part of our makeup, but you can go change period while you wait to discover the new people to relate with.

Another aspect of changing who you are around as you grow is with the people who become threatened by your new thoughts and actions. Many times people close to you will feel uncomfortable with the changing you and express this discomfort. They may try to negate what you are doing in some way or get upset with you because you are not interacting with them in the ways they are use to. Remember that just like you, they get are accustomed to the kind of interaction the two of you have in the past and will feel unsettled or disturbed by any change to that.

This is something that may occur as you grow and change. You must decide to let go of these existing relationships in their current form if you are going to move to a different place in your life, you can reduce your interactivity with a person, you can eliminate it or you can alter it. Much of how a relationship changes depends on the kind of relationship and the flexibility of the other person. But you must take command and do what is best for your continued growth, if that’s what you want.

The saying, “have your cake and eat it too” relates to this. You can’t change your life and keep the life you currently have at the same time, you will just remain frustrated. The inability that many people have with making this kind of change in existing relationships is what holds them back. This is where much anxiety, stress and depression come to be when you deeply want one think but are remaining in another. You may think that you can’t get out of your current situation but you can when you decide to face your feelings and the reactions of others.

Fearing the response of others can be daunting but it must be done for your life to go on. Remember that the reaction and opinions of others should not be taken as guidance for your life. Listen to your inner higher self for this. Of course others will have their opinions, they wouldn’t be human if they didn’t, but this is not the definition of who you are. A hundreds people will have a hundred opinions of you, but the only one that matters is yours.

When the wind blows, a tree will sway, leaves will come off and even branches may break, but does the wind define what the tree is?

Don’t let the ‘wind’ from others define you, go with your inner guidance, it is intended specifically for you. Take the steps you are guided to take and place yourself in position for the opportunities the universe presents you to further your expression of your purpose.


“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can easily be hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give that power to anyone else.”

— Brian Weiss M.D.

“That’s the risk you take if you change: that people you’ve

been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people

who do will come along.” — Lisa Alther

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

— Marianne Williamson

“We need not be afraid to touch, to feel, to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what you are, what you feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want you to be.”

— Leo Buscaglia

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have and

only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest

you let other people spend it for you.”

—Carl Sandburg

“Do not choose bad friends.

Do not choose persons of low habits.

Select good friends. Be discriminating.

Choose the best.” — Dhammapada 78

“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky

February 19, 2007

The power of why

Why do you want what you want?

How deeply do you want it?

How much emotional energy do you apply to your desires?

These questions point to the energy and power your desires have.

One of the most effective ways for you to support your desires is with clear and strong reasons why you want them. Having a clear vision, pictures in your mind, is great – a good starting point, but positively emotionally charged feelings behind it is where your power is.

Emotionally charged energy is magnetic, your mind and the universal spirit respond to it. In fact if you want to have any affect on changing your current status quo, you will need to utilize this energy.

Have you ever tried visualizations or affirmations, and not found that they have much affect on things? It’s likely because you have not added enough emotional charge to them.

Think about this,

The things that you don’t want to be a part of your life anymore have plenty of emotional energy tied to them don’t they? They usually do.

So, what happens is that what you don’t want tends to win out over what you do want because it has a higher emotional charge.

This is why spending time dwelling on what you don’t want helps keep it around. You project more of the energy describing your ‘don’t wants’ than you do your desires.

To move you into the life you desire is to —

Spend more time thinking about what you DO want than what you don’t.

Continue to clarify what you want, more detail.

Identify what it will do for you, how your life will be with it. What will it do for you and others?

Add emotional energy to these pictures by placing yourself there, in the picture, and feel how you WILL feel. Get excited about it.

Explore all the various emotions involved – let them develop. Your powerful ‘why’ is your deep feelings behind how you will enjoy and benefit from what you want.

Here is a key idea that has helped me.

The only reason you want to think about something you don’t want

– is to use it to identify it’s opposite

– what you DO want.

Then shift your thoughts and attention to focusing on your want.

Your thoughts and emotions need to be in support of what you DO want in order to allow it into your life experience.

Always ask yourself – are my thoughts supportive or un-supportive of my desires?

Move your attention away from the un-supportive thoughts and at least to a neutral place, but even better to emotionally backed thoughts of your wants.


“The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.” — Earl Nightingale

“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore,

you have the power to change anything about yourself or your

life that you want to change.” — Barbara De Angelis

“Your most important asset is the conscious control of your own life.” — Butterworth:

“Learning to be aware of feelings, how they arise and how to

use them creatively so they guide us to happiness, is an

essential lifetime skill.” — Joan Borysenko

Check your thinking all the time-

Is it supportive of your desires?


Is it furthering what you no longer want?

Train yourself to use the thoughts of what you don’t want to trigger you to think about what you do want. It can be an automatic switch in your mind that links the first thought that pops up to the more desirable thoughts.

When you catch yourself dwelling on your don’t wants –

Ask yourself,

What do I really WANT right now?

Start thinking about it

Gradually develop the idea and add emotion.

How would I feel right now, if it were this way right now

Having one thought link to another is a normal activity of your mind, it is doing this all the time. It’s just the word association that gets set up automatically in your mind linking one thing to another. Now you can use it specifically on your decision, for your purpose – it’s your mind, you are in control! Use this ability to your advantage.

If I say, “home cooking”, what idea pops up? — Whatever is attached to the phrase in your mind. This is one of the many features of your mind that runs automatically that you can choose to use on purpose.

Developing this ‘switch’ connection in your mind for all of your ‘don’t want’ thoughts will get your automatic mind to assist you with moving more of your attention and focus to what you DO want. More time and attention on these thoughts will allow you to develop clearer pictures and deeper feelings, and this is how you will properly influence your subconscious and the universe.

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single

thought will not make a pathway in the mind.

To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.

To make a deep mental path, we must think over and

over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

–Henry David Thoreau

“Cherish your visions. Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.” — James Allen

February 7, 2007

It’s all about FOCUS

The Law of focus stipulates that, what you focus on expands.

What do you think about? What thoughts do you dwell on? Where is your attention?

Where your attention is – your life goes, how could it go anywhere else? The universe responds to your thoughts. The more you give your energy towards something, the more you will experience the same in your life experience.

Your thoughts are seeds just like the coding contained within an acorn. If your thoughts are scattered, your life will be scattered. If you are focused your life experience will focused.

I noticed quite some time ago that in my life, if I wanted to something in my life I had to get very involved with it mentally. I had to get intimate with it – with my thinking, and I could not get intimate with a halfhearted effort or thought commitment. I had to invest quality time and focused attention before I could get desirable results.

Many people know that their thoughts are like seeds with the intelligent universe, but do not actually fully understand the entire concept.

The frequently misunderstood component to this concept is, what actually comprises the seeds critical directive component. What is the equivalent to the DNA of the seed – that part within the seed that is the code that the universe responds to in kind.

Actually it is your daily thought. If you can imagine that your daily thought is contained within the shell of an acorn you would be very close. This means all of your daily thought, not just the thoughts you have for a few moments when you think about what you want and make some statements to yourself about what you want.

It is actually the combination of all your thoughts. You are defining the contents of your seed with your every thought. So if you tell yourself that you want to have, be or do something for a few minutes, but then let your thoughts go to some sort of fear, doubt or worry – you are clouding and confusing the contents of your seed.

The universal intelligence responds to your thought requests – the whole group of them as one. Which ones are actually dominant – what you really want or your fears, doubts, worries, complaints and rationalizations.

Your complaining, griping, dwelling on fear, doubt and thinking that you must figure it all out consciously not only creates stress for you but to the responsive universe it is all part of your request – the DNA of what you will develop into. If you are stuck in thinking that you must figure it all out with your conscious mind, you actually close down your connection to intuition and inner guidance.

Think about this: What if your DNA did not contain a clear definition of your eye color? Say there was some doubt as to the possibility of having blue eyes. How could the universe support the something that was not defined? What color would your eyes be? Would you even have eyes?

The universe can’t act on mixed up, unclear messages – it will act on whatever is most predominant, no matter what it is. If you spend more time thinking about doubt, you will get more doubt. If you dwell on a specific fear, guess what you will get more of.

Most think that all they need to do is to think about what they want periodically and occasionally make positive statements supporting their desires and they are planting their request. This is not enough. What you think about in between, most of the time, will have more impact.

If you end up using a greater part of your time thinking about your fears, doubts and worries, they will have more impact on the definition of your seeds. If you think about your desires for about 10 minutes a day and then spend the bulk of the day worrying about what could go wrong, thinking about how difficult it is, doubting yourself, or trying to figure out how it can work – what does your seed look like?

Here is the key to developing the seeds for what you want for your life. What are all of your thoughts throughout the day? They are all contributing to the DNA of your seeds. You can’t let your clearly defined desires get muddied with a bunch of counterproductive thinking during the day. The majority of you thoughts need to support the description of the seed you desire. And a big part of this is to not muck it up.

Sure you find yourself dealing with many things during the day, but the key is – where is your focus? There is a big difference between thinking about something long enough to take care of it and dwelling on it.

Don’t let your daily dealings totally overpower your happiness and your growth and development.

Your thoughts are energy. Whatever energy you project will receive an appropriate response from the universal intelligence, as it must respond in kind to your request -the seed you are defining every moment of each day.

It’s important to be happy as much of the time as possible, otherwise you are focusing on what you don’t have or like – adding these thoughts to your seeds. I will get more into this in another session.

You have command of your thinking, you don’t need to allow any thought that pops into your awareness to take over. Choose to think about something different, more in alignment with happiness and your desires..


“Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can

immediately command when we focus all of our resources on

mastering a single area of our lives.” — Anthony Robbins

“Whatever commands our time, energy and resources, commands

us.” — Tom Sine

Whitman says it another way: “Oh, while I live, to be the ruler of life, not a slave, to meet life as a powerful conqueror, and nothing exterior to me shall ever take command of me.”

“Your daily life is your temple and your religion.” — Kahlil Gibran

Marcus Aurelius: “Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. Soak it then in such trains of thoughts as, for example: Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible.”

“Let all thoughts be thoughts of noble progress,

For then even failing cannot be called a failure.”

–Tirukkural 596

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed.

Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be

well.” — Marcus Aurelius

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our

thoughts. And with our thoughts, we make our world” – Buddha

“We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.” — Florence Scovel Shinn

“The universe never says no to your thought about yourself. It

only grows it.” — Neale Donald Walsch

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you;

you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” — James Allen

“You live with your thoughts — so be careful what they

are.” — Eva Arrington

“Every thought we think is creating our future.”

— Louise L. Hay

“Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Suffering follows an evil thought as the wheels of a cart follow the oxen that draws it.

Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.” — Buddha

“There is a great idea that you will encounter again and again on your quest: you are a living magnet, constantly drawing to you the things, the people, and the circumstances which are in accord with your thoughts. In other words, you are where you are in experience, in relationships, even in financial conditions, because of what you are (which is where you are in consciousness).” — Eric Butterworth

Take command of your thinking. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want or what just comes up in the day. Train yourself to catch yourself complaining, worrying and doubting, then just stop it. Focus on what you want or even something that makes you happy.

“A man/woman should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought forces upon the object which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his purpose (as he necessarily must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.” — James Allen

“As long as you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem.” — Stephen Covey

“The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.”

— Earl Nightingale

Every thought we think

Is like a flower in life’s garden,

And not the permanent possession of anyone.

Let our thoughts then

Be fragrant and beautiful,

Not rank and ugly,

That the memory we have behind us

Be felt as a blessing on this earth.

— Omar Khayyam

“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” — Alexander Graham Bell

“As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.” — James Allen,

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never

hold onto a negative thought. I don’t eat junk foods and I don’t

think junk thoughts.” — Peace Pilgrim