Category Archives for "Life Success"

Life success is when you are happy and satisfied on your path of growth and peak experience.

Your Brain Stores Memories and Recalls With The Same Neurons

A recent study has proven that your brain uses the same neurons when you
recall a memory as it did when you initially had the experience. This
has been thought to be the case for some time but the study now shows
scientific proof. This is good news for your personal growth and
development.

For the brain, remembering is a lot like doing. This is powerful! When
you realize this is how the brain works, you can use this knowledge to
your advantage. It has been believed that your brain does not know thebrain neuron image
difference between an actual occurrence, a memory or specific thought
about a possibility.

In this new study conducted by a team of American and Israeli
researchers, they were able to pinpoint the location of mini-storms of
brain activity that occurred with the initial action as well as the
later recall of it. They were able to show that both occurred in the
same brain cells concentrated around the hippocampus region of the
brain.

It has been found in other research that the brain does not really know
the difference between an imagined action, a real one or the memory of
either. Similar to how you can affect your body and mind from input to
one or the other. It has been commonly known that you can train your
body to do specific motions through your thoughts, and it has been shown
that you can affect your thought by specific physical movement of you
body. In other words, an athlete can train their mind to control the
body by physically doing an activity in exactly the way you want and the
brain will learn how this is done.

All of this continues to build support for how you can direct your
thoughts and actions through visualization and affirmation. There is now
more proof that the memory of and the actual occurrence of something are
no different in your mind. This leads to your being able to pre-program
your mind to ‘know’ specific things without them actually happening yet.
Your brain will allow you to do something, which it knows, easier than
an unknown.

When you create a powerful vivid imagined scenario in your mind, backed
by appropriate emotions, you can program your mind much like it has
actually occurred. Your mind likes to do what it is familiar with, so if brain energy image
you create this familiarity with clear emotionally backed thought your
brain acts as though it has happened. It is easier to do again what you
are familiar with. There is a natural hesitation to what your brain does
not know, so make it known and familiar through your imagination.

Familiarizing your brain with what you want through emotion backed
visualization and affirmations acts to program it for desirable
situations making them easier to do again and again. Also your
unconscious mind and inner self attempt to support and assist the
thoughts you hold. Just like the more you physically practice a sports
technique the more your mind helps you fulfill the desire, your mind
will attempt to help fulfill thoughts of any clear desires.

Learning how your brain works helps you to understand how you can use it
to your advantage. After all, it will be doing these things anyway, why
not direct them to your wants and needs? Use tools such as affirmations,
visualization, treasure maps, writing your story, act as though, or
anything that can help familiarize your mind with what you want.
Remember, use thoughts of what you DO want, not what you don’t want or
like. Your mind will act to support whatever you think about with
emotion and clarity – good or bad!

John Halderman, for more daily growth and self discovery tools and
methods – http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

 

Are You Done In Life?

Are you a done with yourself or are you continuing to discover more
about yourself, seek personal growth and development?

You see it all around how science keeps going, discovering more and more
about the world and universe we exist in. As technology improves, which
is change, science is able to understand more about our universe plus
obtain more ways to describe it all. For example, this picture of anasa cassiopeia
supernova remnant was not possible just a few years ago even though the
object was there.

This is how life is, ever expanding in its awareness of itself. Plus,
the increasing awareness of humans to what is already there. Much of the
change seems to not exist or that the change is very slow, but it is
there. Everything in the universe grows and changes we are certainly not
excluded. We have the ability to continue to change and grow throughout
our entire life, including our final change here, death.

But at the same time there are so many people who are ‘checking out’ so
early. Getting tired, feeling aches and pain, feeling beat down –
telling themselves they are wearing out -that it’s too late. I’m not
trying to tell you that pains should be ignored, but how you look at
them can have a huge affect on the power they play in your life.

The biggest factor to your growth is your thinking. What you think about
your life and your growth determines what you see, feel and do. If you
see possibilities – you will see them, and if you see the ‘end’ in your
mind, you will see it in your life. If you think you are too tired, sick
or whatever – you are.

Time to check yourself:

· How are you the same today as you were 10 years ago?
· How are you different?
· What are you doing that you thought were not possible for you a few
years ago?
· Do you look at things in the same way you did several years ago?
· Do you see possibilities for your life or feel hopeless?
· Do you feel that your life continues to move on or do you feel stuck?
· Are you open to new ideas and concepts or do you want to keep things
the way they are?
· Do you feel your problems hold you back, sap your energy and nix your
motivation?
· Are your dreams alive or have you given up on what you want in your
life?

Can you change any of this? Well yes you can – much of it. Many times we
let one thing affect all of our life. We allow our attitude and outlook
to be clouded when one thing has happened when we don’t need to.
Certainly there are situations where something may temporarily set you
back but it does not need to be for all time. Only you can determine if
you are temporarily off or if it has been too long. You will need to ask
yourself honest straight questions about it. The easy answer is of
course, “I will just suffer a little longer” but maybe not the best!

The truth is that a broken foot does not come with a bad attitude,
that’s our choice. A marital separation does not come with resentment
that carries through all of your life, that’s our choice. Because
something did not work out for us does not mean nothing ever will,
that’s our choice to think so. The thing to be careful for is that when
something that appears negative happens don’t allow it to affect all of
your life any more than is necessary.

Ask yourself some key questions that help enhance your self awareness so
you discover how you think and feel about everything. There is always
more out there for you if you allow it and if you are open to recognize
it. When you are clouded by negative reactions it may not seem so, but
you can always change and grow. Your outlook on life is a choice –
yours. You are never done, unless you choose.

John Halderman – More on daily life actions to support a better life,
http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

 

 

Life Distractions

What keeps us from doing all that we want? Many say that personal
growth and development and self awareness are our number one
priorities in life, yet most spend very little time and attention
towards this end. Some people do not realize how important it is to
continually grow, in fact they may not even realize they can. Many
people know that they can continue to grow, develop and become more
self aware, but they don’t do much about it.

And then there are those few that seem to be able to actively keep
moving forward on their life path. Why? They allow their thinking
to focus on their enlightenment, on how they think and act on a
regular basis, not just once in a while. They are able to let their
mind calm down and get quiet, allowing the chatter to fade away.
They are willing to allow their fears, doubts and worries to be
present in their thought, knowing that these thoughts can’t
actually harm them – knowing that avoidance just postpones not
eliminate.

There are different reasons why we all don’t actively participate
in our own personal enlightenment, but one of the main reasons is
due to distraction. The human mind can actually do only one thing
at a time, those of you that think otherwise are just good at
rapidly switching from one focus to another. So what we choose to
think about determines much of our life experience. In relation to
distraction, when we think about is something that helps us feel
comfortable or think we should be doing because of our life
responsibilities we are not focusing on growth and self
realization.

Now I’m not here to tell you what is and is not important in your
physical life, but I know that you need to apply some of your time
and attention to your inner growth which includes how you think and
act. So what keeps you from doing this you may not even be aware
of. Since it is normal for humans to seek happiness, which we
equate to comfort, we tend to avoid uncomfortable thinking and
feelings. And we do this in many ways, some are our daily
activities. We may not be aware of how our daily activities can be
getting the way of our growth and self-realization

Things you may do to avoid discomfort:

Listening to music
Listening to talk radio
Watching TV
Playing video games
Reading
Games
Hobbies
Cleaning
Tinkering
Socializing
Hold on! You say, “these are normal things.”

Yes they are, but they can all be used as a distraction. And only
you can know what role they play in your life. Like anything,
moderation is usually the best.

There are two situations you may be avoiding.

1)If you tend to go to any activity when you feel
uncomfortable, you are probably escaping. Sure you will feel better
doing something you are familiar with, but this behavior can just
postpone what you are avoiding or even make it worse. What I’m
referring to here relates to more discomfort than simple relaxation
and enjoyment.

2)One of the biggest things you may be doing without
knowing it is avoiding real thinking. This is when you are
uncomfortable with allowing your mind to run through the incessant
mind chatter, which shakes your worries and doubts in your face, to
the point where your mind is clear.

Life requires balance, and what I have found is that for most, any
self-growth is pushed into a small corner receiving only spare time
attention – sometimes. Are you running in circles doing the same
things each day and not seeing any change? Are you frustrated with
your life? There could be an initial feeling of discomfort when you
choose to allow yourself to think freely and not choose a
distraction, but this will pass. Using methods of relaxation and
meditation will help.

If you want more for yourself take a look at what you do and why
you do it. Take a look at what you do everyday towards your own
personal growth and development, to what you are doing towards
self-realization.  Only you can know if you are using activities to
avoid something that is actually more important. Choose to set
aside time to just relax and think – this is how you can get in
touch with your inner self on a more regular basis.

The choice of how you spend your time is yours and the result is
your life experience.
John Halderman,
Tips and tools for daily personal growth, increased happiness and
self-discovery. http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

 

 

When Will You Be Too Old To Live Your Dreams?

Have you written off your dreams because you think you are too old?

Think about this, more and more Olympic athletes are over 30 and some over 40. The 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing China has more athletes over 30 participating than any time in history. Do you realize how difficult it is to make the Olympic team in a country with a lot of athletes trying to get on the team and where there are many young athletes competing for the positions?                      Dara Torres 2008 Olympics

Dara Torres, 41-year-old swimmer for the USA, just got two Silver medals and she out swam her much younger competitor during the last leg of the relay. She has successfully balanced the rigorous training needed with being the mother of a 3-year-old daughter.

Ekaterina Karstan 2008 OlympicsEkaterina Karsten of Belarus, competing in the women’s single skull rowing, brings home a bronze medal and she is 36. This is her 4th Olympics, she has won three gold’s and one silver in this event in those efforts proving she has remained in top shape for many years.

Romania’s Constantina Tomescu is 38 and just won the gold in the women’s marathon. In Contantina Tomescu 2008 Olympicsfact at the halfway point she was in 26th place before she gathered speed to end up finishing almost two and a half minutes ahead of the second place finisher. She finished 20th in the 2004 Olympics but has improved steadily in the last four years as she has gotten older in age.

Oksana Chusovitina the 33 year old German gymnast received a silver medal on the vault. My two Oksana Chusovitina 2008 Olympicsdaughters were both involved in competitive gymnastics, I know how physicaly brutal this sport is. She has stated that if she is able to qualify for the next Olympics she will, she will be 37. She said, “if I can I’ll do a sixth Olympics.” Is she giving up on what she loves? She says, “I don’t feel 33, I feel 18.” She not only made the German team, she took 3rd place amongst all competitors, most of which are about 16 years old!

Jason Lezek, the US swimmer who helped Michael Phelps win the two team relays, is 32 swimming againstJason Lezak 2008 Olympics athletes 10 to 15 years younger. He has shown that he can still compete in finals in the Olympics as well as other international events.

The ability of athletes continuing to compete at such a high level as they age can be attributed to several factors; more financial support for athletes, better sports medicine, more understanding about diet, but mental perspective and determination is at the foundation of it all. It definitely can become more difficult physically to train as a person gets older and the drive to continue must be strong. But the decisions you make based on your perceptions are the determining factor to what you will motivate yourself to do.

These older athletes are redefining what is possible as we get older. Their success shows what we are capable of when we have the vision, motivation and determination. More importantly is shows that more people are able to see themselves in this role as they continue to get older. When you can see something as possible you are more likely to find the ways to bring it about.

The demise of ones abilities begins with their perception of what is possible and not possible. So often people fall into the mental trap of thinking they are too old for something or that it is not appropriate for an older person. This is just not the case in all instances. Your physical abilities and mental drive is governed by your perceptions of what is possible, what you ‘should’ be doing and many times the influence of others.

This concept does not just apply to sports, any endeavor that you have stopped allowing yourself to see as possible is not necessarily dead, unless you condemn it in your mind. Take time to assess your deep wants and desires and rather than staying with restrictive perceptions, take a fresh look at it. You will discover that many times it is your own mental decisions that have stopped your progress and squelched your dreams, not your actual abilities.

Harland (Colonel) Sanders did not even start franchising his chicken until he was 65 years old, you may have heard of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

What is really possible for you ‘if’ you were to follow your dreams without telling yourself no?

John Halderman
More life changing concepts at Effective Personal Development Blog

 

You Are Always A Success Whether You Like It Or Not

Are you trying to be successful at something, or with
several areas in your life? This is a characteristic normal
for us human creatures, to feel good about our abilities
and accomplishments. We seem to be continuously striving
for something more to feel good about. We so often think
that we are not doing or being what we want.

When actually, it’s not a matter of finding out ‘how’ to
have success in your life, but rather how and where to
direct your success. The problem is not, not being a
success. The thing is you actually already are very
successful every day, but maybe not at what you would like.

You are successfully living your life, your body is
functioning and you are thinking about something every day,
all day.  Now if you weren’t having any thoughts at all, I
would be concerned.  And since you are thinking about
something, you are receiving the fulfillment of those
thought requests without fail. 

The universe doesn’t fail itself, and since you are a part
of it you will not be failed either.  Just as a plant seed
always gets what it requests, so do you. So then why don’t
you get everything you think you want? You want it so you
must be requesting it right.

Well, again you actually are getting everything that you
are requesting.  I know it seems like I’m taking you in a
circle here but think about this for a moment, how do you
know what a tulip has requested from the universe? Well,
the tulip would not be a tulip if it had requested
something else. The way to tell what has been requested is
by the evidence that is present. 

bulb_tulip.jpg

Then, the other aspect you have is your mental capacity to
reason, think and choose.  Sure some other creatures have a
little of this aspect but nothing like we do.  A cat can
decide to seek out a warm sunny spot to lay in, but it
can’t learn a new trade or change the way it perceives
things like you can. This second mental ability is one
where you decide what is in the seed – your seed. You have
the ability to design what the seed will request from the
universe, let’s call it your ‘creative seed’. 

Now this part is important to understand, just like the
tulip seed and your physical body, your ‘creative seed’ is
always activated with the universe.  This means the
universe is constantly reading your request within your
‘creative seed’, thus it is always responding in kind. Here
is the scary part, your thoughts, all of them, are the
‘creative seed’ which is a continuous active request link
to the intelligent universe.  So everything you are
thinking is your ‘creative seed’ whether you are or are not
consciously aware of it. 

This is why it is so critically important to make it your
main objective all day every day to discover what you are
thinking and adjust it to be congruent with that which best
serves what you want in your life. When you may say that
you want something, but all the while your inner thoughts
are pointed elsewhere and your behavior is reinforcing
something else, your ‘want’ doesn’t hold much weight in the
request seen by the universe. Your predominant thoughts and
actions are so strong; the universe can’t hear what you
really want.

You are right now completely successful at what you have
invested your thoughts and energies to, even if you are not
totally aware of them. Your experience in life has a direct
correlation to what you think about and feel strongly about
most of the time. There is an exact relationship to the
percentage of time you allot to any thoughts and your life
experience.

So if you want to be successful at something other than
what you are successful at today, you will need to devote a
higher percentage of your thoughts, feelings and energies
in ways that are more in alignment with these desires. Just
occasional lip service will not do.

All of your thoughts combined are what is included inside
of your ‘seed’ that the universe works to fulfil for you.
So ask yourself, “How much of the volume or space in the
seed is taken up with what I deeply want and how much of it
is what I don’t want, don’t like, put up with or just
complain about?” You are constantly creating this seed, and
from this you are completely successful based on what’s in
it.

To change this, you will need to take command of your
everyday thinking, choose to have more of your thoughts,
feelings and actions be congruent with your deep desires.
Using your valuable thought time to complain, ridicule,
doubt, worry, feel angry, resent someone, and many other
negative type thoughts, just steal time you can be filling
your ‘seed’ with what you really want. Plus, you will just
get more in your life to complain, resent, worry about and
all the rest – is that what you really want?

Some people have actually kept track, in time, of their
thoughts all day long in order to discover what percentage
of time they devote to certain ideas. With this you can
discover what undesirable thinking you want to replace with
the aligned thinking you want.

Take command of your thinking now by aligning more of your
thoughts with your deepest desires, you will see your
feelings and actions follow suit, then your life experience
will too. Choose what you are successful at by redirecting
the same tools and power you now use to get what you now
have.  
John Halderman

 

“Just Make Someone Happy”

You’ve done this, I’m sure, but do you do it often enough?
It’s always nice to do something that results in a person
feeling good, in fact usually you feel good as well don’t
you.

Now, you don’t actually make anyone feel anything, which is
up to him or her, but you can contribute to how they feel
by doing something they appreciate or enjoy.  One of our
deepest human desires is to feel good so everyone is open
to any assistance with doing this. And I’m sure you are
aware of how it is so easy for people to focus on the
negative, everyone can use some assistance placing their
attention on what makes them happy.

What does it take to assist someone to feel happy? First
you want to discover what they would appreciate, which
requires a bit of attention to the other person. Do you
take the time to notice what others would appreciate or
enjoy? It really doesn’t take much effort, but rather some
attention. With our busy lives it can take some purposeful
effort to notice what others would like and do something
about it but it’s worth it. What you do for others comes
back to you in some way, so there is some secondary
motivation behind your kindness to others.  It doesn’t hurt
to remember that you get more of what you think about in
your life.

What can you do to help someone feel better and feel good
about it yourself as well? Can you make a positive comment,
praise or compliment? Who can you do this for? The people
close to you as well as people you just have casual contact
with. You never know up front how even something small can
lift a person’s day. Or how a small compliment can boost
someone’s self esteem. The thing to remember, no one
receives too much of what leads to happiness, so you can ‘t
over do it.

Make it a part of your daily life to be aware of other
people and what you can do to entice their happiness. Start
out with the intention to help just one person to feel
happy. And don’t forget how you will be increasing the time
you are happy as well, as just thinking about it increases
your happiness.
John Halderman
There’s more about life and happiness at
http://effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

 

Can You Give Up Existing Thoughts and Perceptions?

One of the things that makes it tough to change your thinking is the attachment to existing thoughts. At first you may think that you wouldn’t do such a thing when the new mode of thinking is what you think you want. And of course this is true, but there is the aspect of your mind that loves to hold on to what you know and are familiar with. It’s very much like how a magnet automatically attracts iron and steel. Your existing thoughts seem to have a power of their own. They don’t of course, other than through your allowing them to. But the hard part comes with your not always being aware that these thoughts are even there. Your unconscious mind harbors these thoughts which are integrated into your base mental operating system Two aspects that are very powerful with us humans are the desire for comfort and following the familiar. Even when thoughts are not really in our best interest but are familiar to us, we will gravitate towards them, craving what is known. We generally have a hard time facing the unknown, thus we shy away from it rather more often seeking what is known and comfortable. In our desire to eliminate the unknown, we attempt to define, categorize and organize everything to put it all into neat order that we can feel comfortable with. This of course can not actually be done. In reality everything is in constant change, but because we are generally uncomfortable with new and different, we seek the known no matter how inappropriate it may be for us. This is also why thoughts and actions that don’t serve your best interest are so readily held onto and acted upon automatically in your unconscious mind. “Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.” — Glenda Cloud Part of your mind is trying to help you feel comfortable by building a database of what you have already experienced and use this as often as possible to help you feel good. One of the basic human drives is to feel good and our unconscious mind is geared to help accomplish this. I know, how can doing something that is harmful such as a bad habit be comfortable? It can in the sense that it is known. It is more comfortable than what you have not done before because at least it is known to you. As you know many people will hang on to some very destructive habits without knowing why. This is one of the main reasons why change is so difficult. For the most part you are unaware of this mental activity as your unconscious mind efficiently streamlines many of your thought processes. Don’t get upset with your brain, it’s just doing it’s job. Just imagine if you had to consciously think about everything your mind did - you wouldn’t have time to do anything above your basic life support, if that. “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” — Abraham H. Maslow Our unconscious mind, much like a computer operating system, performs many functions without our need to be aware of them. But also like a computer program, your automatic brain functions can be altered. As a programmer can go in and change a program such as Microsoft Word and get it to perform different functions, you can change many of your basic thoughts, feelings and perceptions that automatically guide your behavior. The question is - are you willing to face your basic comfort seeking programming in order to experience something new and different in your life? You must choose to step into the unknown, into what is new to you and away from what you have been deriving some comfort from. On the surface this seems and feels unnatural - but it’s not. Learning to face and accept the uncertainty of the unknown releases your ability to change your lot in life, realize your potential and increase your happiness. Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.” This applies here with your perceptions about the unknown, comfort and feeling good. When you change how you look at change, the unknown, anything new, you can affect your related behavior and how your automatic unconscious mind tries to keep you away from it. Your life is designed to continuously develop with you becoming more of what you are capable of as you go along. When you allow yourself to shy away from change you are actually stopping this free flow of growth. When you see something new as being somewhat painful because it is different, this is a perception - a choice. Something new and different does not come with discomfort attached that is your doing. Nothing comes with perceptions or emotional feelings attached - that is all of our doing. One of the most powerful self-help methods is totally free. Ask yourself questions, the right questions. Your subconscious will seek to answer your serious heartfelt questions. And questions can be used to assist with changing the way you perceive the unknown and change so that you welcome it rather than avoid it. Ask yourself, “How can this be beneficial to me?” “How can this be more beneficial than remaining as I have for so long?” “How can this, new and different activity, better support the life I want?” The questions you can ask are endless. It will take a little practice to figure out what to ask, just keep playing with it - having the intent of creating effective questions you will discover the right questions for your situatuion. You will also likely need to learn to listen for the answers. Quieting the incessant mind chatter is necessary and can be done in various ways such as breathing and meditation. Another angle for questions is to ask yourself why you feel as you do about change, comfort, happiness, new and different to see if you can get clarity into your perceptions about them. This then allows you to see what you don’t want which then leads to the opposite, what you DO want. Take the position mentally that something new and different is basically good and beneficial, ask questions seeking how this is. Rather than your old way of looking at change as uncomfortable and undesirable. Look for the benefits, not the detriments - this is a change of perception. Your emotional feelings will follow your perceptions, you will feel different about change when you look at it differently. Be proactive with how you look at things, choose the perceptions that best support the life you are meant to live. Just because you have had a certain perception now does not mean you must keep it forever. The first step is to change the way you look at change. “Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” — Herbert A. Otto John Halderman John Halderman teaches and writes in the areas of personal growth and development focusing on effective methods for self actualization, increased satisfaction and happiness. For more: http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com http://www.designalifesystem.com

Be A Magnet For What You Want

Another article in the ‘Daily Action For Self Improvement’ series, articles focusing on the personal development and growth actions you can take daily to support a high level of happiness and satisfaction in your life. In looking what you can do each day to support what you want in your life - check your thinking throughout the day. Ask a simple question of yourself, “Am I a magnet for what I want?” You see, your predominate thoughts direct your magnet. Unfortunately, spending a lot of time thinking about what we don’t want seems to be the norm. But doing this just defines your creation magnet - so you are essentially requesting more of what you don’t want. You do this when you re-play in your head; What you don’t like, What you are upset about, What you worry about, What you are afraid of And, this is so easy to do, it is automatic. But it doesn’t have to be. You can stop and shift ‘thought gears’ whenever you want. The first option is to switch your focus onto something, anything that you can feel good about. Get yourself to delve into this topic for a while to divert your attention. It is easier to replace thought with another thought than it is to try to get yourself to just stop the current thinking. Replace your thought with something desirable. A second option when you catch yourself stuck in ‘the negative thought spiral’ is to look for the opposite of what you are thinking. Usually at the opposite of a dislike is something you would want. Identify this and place your focus on it, allowing yourself to feel better. Wherever your mind is - you are seeking more, even if it is what you don’t want. So, train yourself to not remain in that state of whirling around in what you don’t want - use that to look for the opposite, what you do like. Or even just switch to thinking about anything to get your mind into a happier place. To get yourself to begin to notice more often what you are thinking about try this: Get a 3 x 5 card to take with you for the day. Write on it - “What am I thinking about right now?” “Does it make me happy?” “What else can I be thinking?” Keep this where you will see it often. It’s good to put it somewhere where you will accidentally notice it without thinking about it. This helps you catch yourself off guard so you can take notice of your thoughts. Using a tool like this can help you to learn to take more notice to what you are thinking all the time. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can decide if you want to change them. John Halderman John Halderman teaches and writes in the areas of personal growth and development focusing on effective methods for self actualization, increased satisfaction and happiness. For more: http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com http://www.designalifesystem.com

Do You Start More Than You Finish?

Another article in the ‘Daily Action For Self Improvement’ series, articles focusing on the personal development and growth actions you can take daily to support a high level of happiness and satisfaction in your life. How many things have you began and put aside before completing? If you can answer, “many”, you are a ’starter’. Do you have a tendency to get excited about doing something, begin it, then soon get sidetracked by interest in somewhat new. This can be any type of project, a new career or job, a hobby, a business idea, even a relationship - whatever, just anything that gets put aside when your interest clings to something new. If you can relate to this, you are also perhaps quite frustrated with the lack of money, satisfaction and happiness in your life. What’s the problem? You try so hard; you are always involved with or working on something yet you don’t see the results you initially desire. What is going on with this repetitive cycle you are stuck in? * You do not have a clear course in your life to act as a beacon keeping you on track. * You don’t have a clearly defined set of specific goals, targets or a vision to serve as benchmarks in your progress. * You are not managing your time properly nor sticking to appropriate tasks. * Allowing your focus to bounce around shows you are not fully committed to a big picture. * You are not benefiting emotionally from the reward and satisfaction of accomplishment. * Your personal confidence is likely not how it ought to be. * Your frustration level is damaging to your personal power, energy and motivation. * You are likely to be questioning or even doubting your ideas and decisions. Now look at what a success cylce can be like. The fact that you are bouncing your attention from idea to idea indicates that you are not aware enough of your purpose. Your purpose is what you are here to do to serve the universe and your work supports this when directed properly. Discovering or getting a better sense of your purpose in life gives you a specific direction to focus much of your attention. From this you will be better able to decide where to place the focus of your thought and the energy of your actions. Seeing and feeling your purpose will reveal a deep intent and a strong motivation. You should feel strongly like you are on a mission. This helps you to remain focused and on task. You will have the inner strength and conviction to take command of your thinking, directing your thoughts and actions towards supporting your mission. The questioning and doubting mentioned above comes up when your inner self is hampered by your conscious attempts to seek happiness and satisfy your ego mind. Without consciously knowing your direction you will not be giving your all to what you should be focused on. You can actually cause your inner guidance to be clouded to your perception, not receiving it’s full benefit. When you determine a direction based on your purpose you can more appropriately set up the steps and focused actions that will support this. You don’t need to know every step in the beginning, just enough to get yourself going and more is revealled as you go. Through your inner guidance, intuition and conscious thought details are exposed as you are immersed in the process. If you sit back and attempt to figure it all out ahead of time before starting you will remain stuck. You must begin, in trust, taking steps forward in order to discover the next steps.. You will see the way forward as you procede in the right direction. Accomplishing some goals or targets along the way definately gives your confidence and motivation a boost. This is crucial in keeping your energy and interest at a high level. Continued accomplishment and motiovation supports willingness to do what is necessary. Daily planning and refocusing on the specific tasks to be accomplished each day is important to keep yourself from getting mired in daily life. You must have an intention and the burning desire behind it every day in order to trigger the self-discipline to stick to it, as it is so easy to get distracted amid everyday things that do not directly support your purpose. You can be busy all day and not get done anything that you had set out to if you are not diligent. Time management is critical to your overall satisfaction and progress, there is not time to do everything you can think of in a day. Learn to be selective with the thoughts you hold and the activities you are involved in so that you are not merely getting moved by life but rather focusing on your desires. This should be reinforced with daily reminders of your purpose, intent and goals. Set up a daily plan for your activities every day, be determined to stay on course, and check yourself often, it’s very easy to veer away. If supporting your purpose includes several things, know that you can’t do everything at once. One thing accomplished provides far more motivation than 3 things half-done. Determine the method and order that projects will be done and commit to when they are to be completed. Focus your focus and atttention to the first or most vital step then go through the list - you are now on a mission. You will soon develop the positive habit of the success cycle. Your personal development is your responsibility, take control of your scattered thought and find the key to focused attention. Happiness and satisfaction are the result of purposeful accomplishment. John Halderman is a trainer and writer dedicated to assisting people with ideas, methods and tools to help them do, be and feel better enhancing their overall happiness and satisfaction. Get the guide detailing many activities you can use to daily support your personal development and growth. Websites: http://www.designalifesystem.com http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com
November 9, 2007

Are You Trying To Share Yourself With Your Past

A situation has come to my attention about someone who has been having problems for a long time trying to insist that other family members go along with how he wants to sort them out. He thinks discussing the mess of the past with others will help everyone with their stress, anxiety and depression, but mostly himself. He has been having a hard time living in the present without including the past.

This is a great example of how many get stuck in the idea that the only way to live fully in life is to go pack into the past and drudge it all up. That the only way to be happy today is to find and identify the ‘nugget’ in the past that seems to be at the root of your problems.

In order to see how personally destructive this is we must clear up some things about our existence and thinking.

First, the only REAL moment in your life is right now. Your future is your projection and your past is your memory.

So, the only way for the past to be a part of your life at this moment is for YOU to bring it here. Something that occurred in the past is not real today, but you can make it real by bringing the thoughts and emotional feeling of it into your thought space today. And through the miracle of your thought power you can choose to feel the same emotional feelings related to something from the past right now in the present. It’ s the most perfect re-enactment.

This is how your emotional pain from the past is brought current. Your past cannot bring itself into the now! Unless you choose to give those memories unlimited power in your life to come up at will and trigger emotional feelings at will.

Now I know that many feel the need to go back and discover the root cause of their pain feeling that this is the only way to alter the way they feel today. This is quite common, but so is the number of people stuck in a place of unhappiness waiting for the cure.

Where actually the only cure is today. How you choose to be and do today. There is a decision you must make, do you choose to live how you can live today or do you keep reliving some particular painful parts of the past?

Why most who think they need to dredge up the past is to ‘know’ why they think and feel as they do now. OK, yes you are a compilation of all of your perceptions linked together throughout your life. Since your perception is all you really have to bring everything into your life with, it influences who you are right now.

However, if you do go back in your past and find what you think is the root cause of particular thoughts and feelings, what then? In order for those thought patterns and attached emotional reactions to not be as they are today you will need to make some personal effort to alter them. They are the result of an initial event plus many other things that have been linked and have influenced your thinking along the way.

So, here is the surprise, just discovering the root cause will not make the thinking habits magically go away, all it does is perhaps relieve your curiosity and wonder about how it all started. You will still need to work on yourself to alter the thought ands behavioral patterns. The thoughts and behavioral patterns can be altered by you either way, so why put your life on hold to search for the one thing you think will make you better, make yourself into what you want anyway.

Some may think I am making this sound too simple. They will say, but I can’t think about any thing else, I can’t function with not knowing. These are valid, but only because you have chosen for them to be. You have chosen to allow them to be in your present moment and have the presence that they do.

What is really going on here is that you are shifting the responsibility of making your life all that it can be today, to something outside of yourself. You are placing the responsibility on the ‘thing’ that is may be the root of your troubling thoughts. “This will fix my life.” It won’t! It will only clarify a question you asked and decided to use as a condition to your happiness.

Even the question itself does not ‘make’ you do or feel anything, you choose to place a condition on it that it must be answered to your satisfaction in order for your life to go on. But, you can also choose differently. The responsibility to live harmoniously in the now is yours.

Why are some people consumed with needing to know about these root beginnings of their troubling thoughts? Because they don’t know what else to do. They think that if I can go back I can undo it all. You can’t, it happened. All you can do to change its influence on you is to change your interpretation of your perception of it. And this can be done right here right now without even knowing the details or knowing if it actually happened.

Other people have made a different choice, to not consider what happened in the past to be the deciding factor in their experience today.

You start by forgiving the past, everything that occurred and everyone in it for what they may have done. And this includes yourself. That’s all, that’s it. It is done, time to live today. Sound too simple? Most of the truths are simple, only us humans figure out debilitating ways to entangle ourselves in contrived complexity. And then stress about it.

I didn’t make this up, if you are involved with a religion, what do they say about forgiveness? But you may not be allowing yourself to fully do it because you have chosen to hold onto the past, and you can’t do both! Why has forgiveness been taught for centuries, because it takes care of these extremely debilitating problems that arise when we don’t.

This is how life works for us humans, whatever thoughts we choose to make our predominant thoughts have the most influence on our now. So, if you choose to think you are troubled today because of your past, you are. If you choose to change those thought and emotional patterns for today, you can do that also.

The only way to make your today any different than yesterday is to think and do things differently.

Sometimes finally discovering that root to your problems actually causes more problems. What if you presently think that maybe a certain person may have done something to you that was traumatic and started the troubling thought pattern. Right now you are worried about this possible truth and anxious about needing to know for sure. Then, say you find out it is true, just as you had thought, the person did something that hurt you. Now what?

Many time people in this position now become very angry with the person because they can, they now know for sure. Now on top of the original problems you had surrounding your suspicion you have deep resentment and anger. Much better, right? No, now you are in a worse situation that still requires you to come to terms with all of it in order to attempt to live in the now.

Any and all negative emotions only hurt you not the person you relate them to. Your emotions are completely experience by you alone. If you are mad AT someone, feel hatred TOWARDS someone, HOLD disdain or resentment, guess whose body and mind are suffering from the negative energy? You. Here is the interesting point, you are the only one who can turn on an emotion and you are the only one that experiences them. Hmm, So who can change them?

Danger, continuing this WILL be hazardous to your mental and physical health.

This incessant desire to find ‘the’ answer is no different than other forms of striving where we have an insatiable desire to have, do or be something. And just the same as with striving, if we place a CONDITION of its acquisition we are setting ourselves up for failure. Things regularly turn out differently than we may initially desire. Then our conditional response is set into motion, usually not one of pleasure. The trees that survive heavy winds are the more flexible ones!

As I said earlier, why not start right now to forgive anyone who you think may have done something, in case they did. Forgive yourself for being involved, however you may have been. This is the only way to actually relieve the pressure of the emotions you are feeling regarding what may have happened. Even discovering that root event will not relieve the pressure. Forgive and you can begin new and fresh, allowing yourself to be receptive to what your now has in store for you rather than trying to mix the past with the present.

Frankly if something in the past were so potentially painful why would someone want it over a new moment with out it?

From here you can begin to work on the thought patterns and behaviors that are not in line with what you really want ion your life without the burden of constantly refreshing the past. There are many techniques for changing your predominant thoughts to thoughts that are positive and life affirming, such as positive affirmations.

That is another topic but start with a wholesale forgiveness of everything that has happened in your life and everyone that was or may have been involved. This will help you turn your past into memories rather than emotionally charged events you are bringing up to the present.

High self-esteem and great self-confidence are not supported by dwelling on the past, they are boosted by a positive attitude towards your life’s possibilities. The best stress reliever is letting go of the past. Positive thinking is rising above the mire of the past.

For your past – thank it, forgive it and bless it!

For your future – move on, find peace and be happy!

Forgive, learn, grow and live. . .

John

John Halderman, a writer, speaker, and trainer intent on helping you get real results from your personal growth efforts.

He supports methods, tools, and knowledge that bridge the gap between information and effective results.

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