Category Archives for "Self Sabotage"
Your unknown subconscious thought patterns can be causing self sabotage or self-defeating behavior.
Your unknown subconscious thought patterns can be causing self sabotage or self-defeating behavior.
Many will say that you must ask God to be given what you want, in a “will you please” way. But this is relinquishing your natural ability and right to know for yourself, to think for yourself and to choose what you want. What we receive from the Intelligent Universe is not based on the whim of a human like mind, it is a clear cause and effect system. We are here, as individualizations of God, to notice what’s possible and ask for it. And, yes we can expect it to come into our life experience, but we must prepare for it first.
We don’t actually make anything happen, God, the Universal Intelligence does that, but we do request it and allow it. We ask for it and we allow it to connect with us, through our thoughts, feelings and vibration. For anything that we ask for to show up in our life experience, we must first align with it – we must be the person who does, has or is that which we want. The thing we want will not change us, or make us into what we need to be, we must do that first.
Once you have asked for something through your thoughts, feelings or vibration, or usually all together, the Intelligent Universe gets it all set up for you. If you are still waiting, what you have asked for is already there, you are just not yet aligned with it yet.
What very often happens is that we think strongly that we are thinking and feeling in the right ways for something to occur in our life, but we are actually not. Much of our life is commanded by our unconscious thoughts, where automatic functions are in place to simplify your conscious thought requirements. It is here that you may have strong thought patterns that are not in support of what you say you want. And guess which thinking usually wins out?
You can have something blocked because you are obsessed with having it. I know this sounds odd on the surface, but I’ll explain, what can be a more powerful want than obsession? It’s what is linked to it that is the biggest problem. And the most common restrictive factor is, a condition attached to the desire. A commonly attached condition is one related to happiness. Like, “I will be happy when I have . . . “
* You notice what you want, picture it and you see happiness as part of having it.
* This picture in your mind, is what is conveyed to Spirit as what you want.
* The Intelligent Universe (God) goes about to set it all up for you.
* And your role now is to align yourself with the desired outcome and to take any actions you are guided through Spirit to take.
* For you to experience what you want, you must be a vibrational match for it. You must be the person who is in and at one with what you want. Your vibration is based on your thoughts and feelings.
* Then, like two perfectly matched magnetic puzzle pieces, you are drawn to what has been created for you.
Now, going back to the happiness condition we placed on our desire. That happiness condition says, “I will be happy when . . . ”
Notice this about your happiness – it’s not before, but when!
In order for you to be a perfect vibrational match for what you want, you must be that happy person first – before the match can take place.
So. . . this attachment to your desire that says “I must have this in order to be happy” is keeping you away from it. You are stuck in a cycle: you have declared that you won’t be happy until it happens, and the Universe will not connect you to the experience until you are happy. The two can never come together under this scenario.
Consider this, when you are saying that you will be happy when what you want shows up, you are saying that right now you are not happy. This is a command to the Universe, like all thoughts are. You are saying, and commanding, “I am not happy now.” This is what you will get, because this is what you are resonating with vibrationally right now. Unhappiness begets unhappiness.
So even if consciously you are saying clearly what you want, but you are not a vibrational match for it, it will not come. But at the same time, unknown to you, you are actually saying and resonating the vibrational match for more unhappiness. You get the thing you are resonating with. This could be considered a form of self sabotage as you are preventing yourself from getting something you say you want.
I’m sure you have heard before, “Be happy now”, well, now you know why. Because if what you want has happiness as part of it as most things we want do, you will need to be happy before the Universe delivers it to you. What you want is already there, waiting for you to be a match! Time is a relative thing we use in our reality, but to the Universe – there is only now. So what you are now, is what you will be when anything new happens. Think about it, anytime anythign actually happens, it’s now!
Also, many times when we are saying that we want something really badly, we are actually spending a lot of our time focusing on what we don’t want. What you don’t want may be the logical reason why you do want something, which is fine, but remember – what you focus on and resonate with will be what you get.
Noticing what you don’t want serves the purpose of helping you to identify what you do want, but don’t remain dwelling on it, or feeding it emotionally. Move on to focusing and feeling what you DO want so that you resonate with it. Our emotions have a very strong affect on our vibrational energy, which is why you’ve probably heard it’s best to get emotionally behind what you want.
Eckhart Tolle said in his book, A New Earth “You cannot manifest what you want; you can only manifest what you already have.”
This means that you must have a very clear picture of it, with appropriate emotional feelings and be a vibrational match for it. This is the state of being with it already in your mind, and feeling it, which includes being the person that fits into the picture.
The Law of Attraction is valid and it lines up with what Jesus and others taught us about how to operate our life, it just needs to be better understood for us to get what we really want.
This is one example of what can be going on unconsciously and there are other factors which can affect your easily getting what you want as well, I will discuss those in later posts here.
Your growth is a work in progess, if you undertake it.
We commonly look at certain things in life and label them as a miracle, why? If something has not yet happened or does not commonly happen, why must it be categorized as something beyond human?
Does this not limit our perception of what is possible for people, for us? Could this be a form of self-sabotage?
When you come to realize that everything in our reality is actually a perception, our own perception, you will see how important it is to pay attention to what you are allowing into your awareness and how. What we think is normal is what we are accustomed to seeing most, nothing more. Just because you are not seeing certain things every day does not make them miracles.
I guess we should clarify the term miracle before going on. The common definitions from Dictionary.com are:
1. an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.
2. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.
3. a wonder; marvel.
We know that events occur all the time that get called a miracle, but the reason is because they are just not common on our current view of the world. Everyday, there are scientists discovering new things, athletes breaking perceived performance barriers, people getting well from major illnesses, inventors coming up with new ideas, and so on.
These things are actually a normal part of life, maybe not the most commonplace but normally occurring on a regular basis. Just look at all of what is called progress with mankind, has it not been a steady succession of previously considered unknown or undo-able things? But wait, they have been happening on a consistent manner for as long as we have recorded history, and I’m sure before.
So who does these so called miraculous things? How can they do them and why do they do them? They are people, yes basically normal people with one slight difference, they are not deterred by what has not or what usually does not happen in the world. They seem to have a drive within them that at least says, “What if?”, and they think and act as if it could be possible.
I think most of us get ideas about things that we may have not seen or done before, but don’t we usually dispel them for just that reason . . they are not normal! Or, I have never done that so I don’t have the ability. Or, that’s never been done before! But yet, there are thousands of people doing new and uncommon things all the time – and they are human!
Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things changes.”
At first this may sound silly, of course that’s the case, but what does this actually mean? You can literally change your perception which changes how you see things, thus affects how you think abut them and what actions you will or won’t take. The way you look a things, your perception is the pivot point in your life. It can either support you or sabotage you.
The people who do the seemingly miraculous have a slightly different perception of what is possible than most people. It’s not so much in their abilities as it is in their feeling that it is possible. One of the well used analogies for this is the example of Roger Bannister, who was the first runner to break the 4 minute time for running a mile on a track. And soon after he did this, several other runners did the same thing.
Why? Up to that point, the common belief was that it was not humanly possible – period! This was the belief that all runners help, their perception. Once one man did it, their perceptions changes, they now saw and believed in the possibility that they too could do the same. In sports where the differences between athletes results are very slight, the fastest or best are not considered to have been chosen and provided special help from God. Other athletes know there is just some small difference in training or technique that allows for one to outperform the others.
But in other areas of life we tend to see many of the uncommon things as somehow performed by the hand of God. This is one place where I think a lot of people get stuck in perceiving their ability to do or experience something more uncommon, it’s in their belief about what they are capable of. It’s a commonly held belief that we are separate from what we define as God, and that God is who is doing all the miraculous things.
It’s generally thought that we humans have certain abilities, which we have defined by what we commonly see and anything beyond that must be from God. The thing is, if a few people or even just one person can do something, it is evidence of a human capability. We are here to help the universe express what’s possible. This is why we have free will and the ability to think as we do. In this physical realm, we are the ones that notice what could be done through our experiences.
No other thing on this planet can change at will what the intelligent universe does for them. An onion seed will always be an onion, a tiger will always be a tiger. Yes, a human will always be a human, but he can be a human standing atop a 50 story building built with materials and methods an onion or tiger cannot fathom. We humans are the conduit here on earth for the ever expanding self expression of God.
We have far more capabilities than we know, we are just beginning to imagine our potential. Anything that we conceive of doing is supported by universal intelligence, God. What we ask for is provided, just as the tiger gets what it needs and the onion seed can grow into the plant it desires to be. It is our limitation placed on our abilities that keeps us from what is called miraculous. What is new and different to us today is just the next step in the self expression of the universe, and we can allow it to flow through us if we choose.
And it’s not just about our abilities, but our right, our role in this reality we live in. We are of God, just as a leaf is of the tree – both providing something to the whole and receiving from the whole. Of course you and I do not make it all happen, but we are a critical part in the process. We are the conduits through which the divine flows.
The crux of the matter regarding is it a miracle or normal is, our beliefs can and do affect our perceptions, which are the only filters through which we take in everything. And, once we take it in, we interpret it . . .again influenced by our beliefs.
When we see more as being possible for us in our lives and in others, we will expand our thinking as well as the actions we will take. Knowing that you are an integral part of the intelligent universe, an individual expression of God, you realize that the thoughts you get are for a reason. They are for you to act on, not dispel as undo-able. They are for you to learn to allow to unfold. Just as every leaf on a tree has a purpose, you too have this connection with source.
So why not choose to look at what is considered miraculous, as normal. Normal for you to follow the divine nudge you are given. To not have fear and doubt about it because you know where it comes from and how it is supported – it’s possible and doable! Your ideas are supported the same way as the dna of an onion seed is supported.
What if you followed your inspired thoughts? Would that not be a grand purpose!
Here are some affirmative statements and questions for you to consider:
Why do I so easily follow my inspiration?
How can I easily follow my inspiration?
How can I allow life to unfold through me?
Why am I so excited about following my passion?
Why am I able to know anything as possible?
So you have burning desires and you set goals and intentions for what you want, that’s a good thing.
And you visualize them, along with allowing yourself to feel the emotions of how it will feel to realize them. Then, you get on with figuring out how you will accomplish them! And . . . then there is stress, anxiety, doubt and worry . . . and mostly undesirable results!
The Intelligent Universe, God, is designed to answer your requests, which is also a good thing – a very good thing. However, are you trying to force or micro-manage the universe, God? Are you taking on the responsibility of working on how exactly you will accomplish your desire?
OK, now I have not said that there are not things that you will end up needing to do in order to contribute to the physical manifestation of what you want, I have said that you are trying to figure out how it will all work in exact detail and what you need to do yourself.
You will, in many cases but not all, have to take some action. The question is, who or what decides what these actions are? Who decides what exact actions will fit in with all the pieces of the puzzle so you get the results you want? Are you capable of that? No, you and I are not. There is a power far greater than you and I that has vastly more knowledge about what is possible and how to put it all together in the result you want. Now this isn’t that we don’t play any part of the process, because we do, we are key to it.
Our thoughts, like seeds, are what put the universe in specific action. And then our alignment with the desires results and our purposeful actions contribute to our actual physical experience of the desire. But it is not our job to figure it all out, or to make it all happen, or to even decide the exact outcome.
Our job is to plant the seed and nurture it while knowing it will develop into something very close to our vision. Just like with a flower seed, we don’t know how it actually changes from a seed to a full grown plant, we don’t have to know this – the universe take care of this.
Briefly, the short version of how our desires come to be:
*You ask for what you want to be, do or have with your thoughts and feelings. This becomes a new point of creation – the idea.
*You have complete faith that the universe will bring this to be, so you relax in confidence – feeling happy.
*The universe acts on this request, bringing together whatever is needed.
*You are given guidance as to what you ought to do to fulfill your role in the realization.
*You then take the appropriate actions as directed, knowing with full confidence that you have all the ability and resources needed to follow through.
*You keep your predominate attention on being happy now and on the thoughts and feelings of what you intend to experience, not on what you don’t have or want.
There are some places in this process where we can get essentially muck it up! And one of the most common is with our thinking that we need to figure out everything required to get the result we want. This is like thinking we need to figure out how to make a seed develop into a plant.
So, as the result of anxiousness, fear, uncertainty, the need for control or several other possible reasons, we are driven to plow our limited abilities into figuring it all out. Consider this, our perspectives, beliefs and knowledge are based on where we have been in our life experience, and we now want them to yield something new. Sure, we have abilities which allow us to come to new and different ideas, but do we know what the Intelligent Universe knows?
Yes, we can get a certain amount of progress and good results by mentally and physically powering our way through, but it becomes far more fluid and easy to allow Spirit to figure it all out and learn to listen for the inner guidance as to what we should be doing. A small preception change can have a huge difference in what and how much you realize of what you want.
In our struggles to figure it all out, we can become anxious and stressed. Scientists have now proven that the level of brainwave vibration during stress almost totally shuts down our ability to receive intuitive messages from our inner self, which is our conduit to Spirit. So, the more we attempt to figure it all out, and having multiple undesirable outcomes to our actions, we are becoming stressed and are no longer able to receive the directions about the actions that would be the most appropriate to take.
Most spiritual teachings indicate in some way that our role, once we have thought of and stated what we want, is to trust that it will be provided. That the universe will work out all the details. Then relax, and follow along with the purposeful actions which we are guided to do, keeping the end result in mind. And in taking those actions, we know that we are intended to take them, and that we are fully capable of carrying them through.
Just because you can think of what you want does not mean you know how to get it to happen, but the universe does – choose to trust it!
It is commonly stated that knowledge is power – well not exactly. Unless what you are looking for is a pat on the back for what you know, great, but by itself will not get you much more.
There is potential for power in having knowledge, but the mere possession of it does not cause any power packed action to take place. That’s our job, to take specific action based on the knowledge – this is where the power is! It’s not what you know that has power, but what you do with it. Continue reading
I’m sure you have heard about the Qantas Airways Flight 30 jet that had to make an emergency landing at the Manila International Airport shortly after leaving Hong Kong while in route to Melbourne, Australia. It was discovered that there was a large hole in the fuselage and a this point no explanation has been given as to how it happened, although it’s not likely caused by a terrorism act. All the passengers are fine and were very calm during the unknown course of actions needed to get the plane down safely in Manila.
This is just the event that can trigger your personal growth and development. Have you ever been in a situation where your life is quite possibly in imminent jeopardy? If you have, you will know first hand how you quickly go through an awakening, which commonly includes ’seeing your life flash before your eyes’. You all of a sudden see yourself and your life from a different perspective. It is much like the perspective many people come to when they are at the place of imminent death from old age or illness. They are able to see in a new light many of their long held feelings, thoughts, and perspectives from a more ‘outside looking in’ point of view.
When you are living ‘in’ your life you have a harder time taking an outside view of what you are doing. What you think is important or necessary may not actually be so. Your perspectives and your interpretations of the people, situations and events in your life may not be the most desirable to have to support the life you really want. When your life has evolved as it has, you accept much of it as ‘how it is’ and don’t really look at it as something that can be different.
When an event wakes you up so to speak, you are sort of knocked off kilter a bit and suddenly you are able to see things differently. At this point many people do a lot of reassessment of what is important to them and of their priorities, making changes that are more aligned with their true feelings. As undesirable as the trigger event may be, it can be a wake up call for you to take a look at how you are using your life.
Like at old age when people look back and say, “I should have done this or that, or not have acted that way” and regret what they did for so many years. Why wait the facing of death to reassess your life? You can do it any time you choose. Just because your life has evolved mostly in an automatic way, you don’t have to let it stay that way. You can shift gears and change direction any time you want. The first point is to realize that you can, and you can. You don’t have to be shocked into it, although that can make it quick!
There are many helpful methods and tools available for you to use helping yourself see your life in a new view and then with making any alterations you may choose to make. The second requirement is you must want to change, as your mind will most easily keep doing what it has been doing up to this point so you will need personal motivation to override this. You are intended to continuously change and evolve throughout your life, but many get stuck and don’t realize why they feel unfulfilled and frustrated.
You have your thinking, reasoning and the ability to choose which are your basic tools to navigate your personal evolution through life. Your connections with your inner self and your intuition serve as guidance as you go but can only respond to what you seek. A life unquestioned is a life unchanged except by outside influences. Allowing outside influences to be your only guide, you will be much like the ball in an old style pinball machine bouncing from peg to peg with little to no choice.
Choice is part of your basic equipment, learn how to use it and do so. Don’t wait for some outside event or near death to wake you up, assess your life and how your feel now. What is working and what is no? Everything in the universe is in constant change, what makes you think you can remain the same and feel good about it? You can’t – dissatisfaction, unrest and unhappiness are the result. Rather, learn to navigate the change to best suit the life you are guided from within to live and you will see your happiness and satisfaction increase dramatically.
As you navigate your natural change, as guided from within, you will actually feel more calm and secure than when you were seeking comfort by trying to keep everything the same. Let this latest in air emergency be the catalyst for you to asses your life, don’t wait for something to happen to you. If we can learn from what happens to others, we may not need to experience it ourselves. Your first choice is to take a look at yourself – or not.
John Halderman writes and trains in personal growth and development focusing on what can be done daily to enhance your happiness and satisfaction with life through the understanding of how life works, managing your thoughts and purposeful actions. Find out what you can do daily to improve your life. And see the Effective Personal Development Blog for insight, methods and tools for life growth.