I’m sure you have noticed attributes of another person to be appealing or admirable. This is normal, and can be used to your advantage if you understand why and what you can do with this awareness. Using the characteristics of others can help you to build these up in yourself. This method is called modeling.
You can use the desirable attributes you notice in others as a model to begin thinking and feeling how they can be in you. Actually, the reason you notice and admire specific characteristics in others is because you already have them yourself, they are just subdued. You noticed them in others because these characteristics in you want to be more fully expressed.
Modeling is a powerful way to heighten attributes within you that you want to be more dominant in your daily life. There is a powerful natural human characteristic that you can use to do this. Your mental state and your physiology are linked. You probably know that what you think and feel is transferred and expressed in your body and actions.
What you may not be aware of is that the opposite is true as well. Your thoughts and feelings will respond to your physiology. So, the power in this is that when you see the body posture and behavior of someone exhibiting a trait you admire, you can mimic them and get your mind to respond with like feelings. This has been clearly demonstrated in both the fields of sports and psychology.
So, for instance you admire what appears to be confident behavior in someone, use that as a model. You can at first imagine yourself acting as they do. How are they standing, holding themselves, and projecting themselves? How are they communicating – the tone and inflection of their voice? What feelings do you notice while watching them? And this can be done not only when you are actually watching them, but also in your mind as you think about them and see them in your mind.
Think about the people you have admired some attribute of, and make a list of them. You can categorize them by characteristics. This way you can group similar people together to better help you relate to the attribute you want to heighten.
Like anything new this may take some practice, as you apply some time to doing this. As noticing how you feel when doing it and gradually being able to get yourself to feel your mind and body associating with the trait, you will be applying more energy to aligning and empowering this in yourself. NLP and other disciplines have some techniques for aiding with this process which you may want to look into.
You are capable of doing this on your own, but for most it is not something we are accustomed to doing, so tools and techniques can help us do so. It can be helpful to have a method to help us do something new to use because the mind can tend to resist our efforts just to keep things the way they are. Discomfort is one of the main reasons we discontinue anything new before it’s taken hold in our behavior pattern.
Just start, and don’t give in to the, “I can’t do this” or “I don’t know how to do this” chatter you may get in your mind. That’s all just your ego mind resisting change. Don’t fight it, rather choose to step through it, you can!