January 28, 2006

Getting upset – why?

I was reminded today as I worked on getting this blog set up, how we can so easily fall prey to our expectations. I found myself getting quite upset with some of the quirks I ran across with the blog software.

There were things I was having difficulty getting set the way I wanted. I got riled about some answers I received as a result of submitting a help request. The answers were not what I wanted to hear because they didn’t conform to what I wanted to hear.

Now, I am the first to stand up for product and service that I think is warranted, but I also know that I must be careful not to set rigid expectations about exactly how everything is carried out.

Going around with this attitude is what so many are perpetually unhappy. Most of the time I do pretty good with this.

If it were my business I could operate it in any way that I see fit, but who am I to set the universal standard of operation and behavior for everyone else?

A Fine Line

There is fine line here between my being justified in expecting a certain level of service with a product and expecting it to be what I deem to be perfect. This is a point of balance we all face in virtually all areas of our life. I got myself to chill out about the situation, and of course I was able to think more clearly and rationally.


At this point I must say that I was assisted in this redirect of my perception when John Keegen the owner of BlogHarbor personally called me on the phone after I had responded to his e-mail reply to my help request. He was concerned that I was unhappy and he wanted to make sure my concerns were addressed completely.

Well we had a good conversation that helped a lot. I have to say that I was impressed that he called me. I don’t know how many times I have been frustrated in the past with getting help with a computer or Internet problem. I bet you could name a few yourself.

I really appreciated his concern for my situation, particularly his desire to actually talk to me to ensure I was satisfied. In my book he gets a gold star for making the effort to provide above average service to his customers.

This is a perfect example of where I could have caught myself earlier in the cycle of getting upset and reevaluate my perspective, allowing me to feel differently. Because it was all in my perspective why I was allowing myself to get upset and I can change it.

This was a reaction supported by an ego-based perception, which has its root in the ego’s concept of ‘I can only be happy when I’m right’. Ultimately, I can and should be happy no matter what is happening with the current situation. It is my choice to choose a better way.


Remember that you have a choice about your perception, attitude, thinking and behavior. Just because your ego has been running things, you don’t have to allow it to continue.


Look for more articles here on self improvement addressing topics like motivation, goal setting, self confidence and living a purpose driven life.

Grow, discover, and thrive,


John Halderman, a writer, speaker, and trainer intent on helping you get real results from your personal growth efforts.

He supports methods, tools, and knowledge that bridge the gap between information and effective results.

If you are ready for the truth about change and growth, get the

‘Effective Personal Development Newsletter’.

Each week, delivered to you, are tools, tips, methods and ideas to alter your perception, all for you to use with your daily actions. =====>



I have studied many aspects of personal growth, spirituality, religion, psychology, and philosophy for over 40 years. My writing and training reveals ideas and methods which assist with affecting the desired change and growth people want to live more happy and fulfilling lives. Much focus is on what can be done daily and the how it can be implemented for actual results as opposed to just collecting information.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: