“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.” — Chuang-tzu
So what’s wrong with wanting happiness? Nothing, it’s normal for us to desire happiness, it’s a natural built in desire.
However, striving for it is another matter. When you focus on wanting anything, you are actually focusing on out lack of it. When you say or think, “I want”, you are also stating, “I don’t have . . . “. When you are continually looking for something, there is a reason. You only look when you don’t have it. When you state that you are not happy because . . . , you are claiming the unhappiness. Can you be happy while honestly claiming that you are not? No, can’t happen.
When you state that you will be happy when . . , or if . . ., you are also placing conditions on yourself. You are stating what has to happen in order to be happy, and many times exactly how you get there. If and when you do get or do something you decided would bring you happiness, the kind of happiness you feel is momentary. And if there are any delays or difficulties, this can bring on unhappiness because it appears to be keeping you from your stated happiness.
True happiness happens it’s not made. It happens when you feel satisfied in the moment. You can actually be happy right now in whatever circumstance you are in. When you decide that your happiness is not tied to anything specific, you are now allowing yourself to be happy at any time. Happiness will sometimes show up when you least expect it. It is very common for people to be happy while working very hard on something they want to accomplish.
Happiness is actually a choice. True happiness comes from knowing who you are and knowing that you deserve to be happy in any circumstance, not just in specific moments when the conditions are right. You are restricting your happiness when you declare that it only occur under certain conditions. The choice is to allow yourself unlimited, unrestricted happiness. Then you will notice more and more as you stop seeking it, as seeking or striving denotes it’s not there. . . so it’s not!
Consider this, with every thought and word you are stating, “I AM”. When striving for happiness you are actually saying, “I am not with happiness, so I must find it.” Happiness is already here, you just need to allow it to surface.