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Polarity and Duality In Our Life

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Polarity

Considering the concepts of Polarity and Duality can have us doing some complex mental gymnastics. There are certainly differing perspectives revealing various explanations. Through my studies and thought I tend towards a Metaphysical explanation of Polarity and Duality.

I see everything as being of one source, one energy in different forms. All energy just ‘is’, it’s not truly positive or negative, this or that. Polarity and duality explains contrasting forms for use in our play-field of reality so that we have options for our creative thought.

This provides us with that which we can then choose to focus our attention on, which directs creation. What we term as bad drives us to recognize what we see as good. ying-yang_polarityWhat is undesirable versus desirable. We could say that individual perception is a polarity, some see the glass as half full, others half empty.

If everything is made up of the same energy, then in the larger picture, there is no good and bad. And nothing is actually here then not, or alive, then dead. When one form dissipates, it returns to the basic energy. This happens on a grand scale just as it happens on a physical scale here on earth when matter decomposes.

Time is considered a polarity which is a contrast as well, where actually now is all there is. With one end being the past and the time_warpother the future, we see time as a line to be traveled, from here, to there. The past and future are for our mental comparison and manipulation, they are not real in the physical sense except in our thought. You can’t do anything in the past or future, only right now. We use the past and future concepts in our thinking processes as a way to analyze our now.

So, basically what we term polarity and duality is a part of our physical reality through our perception, as is everything we experience. How we read the scale of polarity is individual, but we are influenced by perceptions held in race consciousness. This all changes as our perception of it changes.

I feel that if one can grasp this concept that we are all part of the one energy and will always be so, the concept of Unity becomes obvious. We no longer fear the unknown, change or even what we term death because whatever form we are in, we are always who we are, the one energy.

Miracle or Normal?

We commonly look at certain things in life and label them as a miracle, why? If something has not yet happened or does not commonly happen, why must it be categorized as something beyond human?

Does this not limit our perception of what is possible for people, for us? Could this be a form of self-sabotage?

When you come to realize that everything in our reality is actually a perception, our own perception, you will see how important it is to pay attention to what you are allowing into your awareness and how. What we think is normal is what we are accustomed to seeing most, nothing more. Just because you are not seeing certain things every day does not make them miracles.

I guess we should clarify the term miracle before going on. The common definitions from Dictionary.com are:

1. an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.

2. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.                                                                                        onions

3. a wonder; marvel.

We know that events occur all the time that get called a miracle, but the reason is because they are just not common on our current view of the world. Everyday, there are scientists discovering new things, athletes breaking perceived performance barriers, people getting well from major illnesses, inventors coming up with new ideas, and so on.

These things are actually a normal part of life, maybe not the most commonplace but normally occurring on a regular basis. Just look at all of what is called progress with mankind, has it not been a steady succession of previously considered unknown or undo-able things? But wait, they have been happening on a consistent manner for as long as we have recorded history, and I’m sure before.

So who does these so called miraculous things? How can they do them and why do they do them? They are people, yes basically normal people with one slight difference, they are not deterred by what has not or what usually does not happen in the world. They seem to have a drive within them that at least says, “What if?”, and they think and act as if it could be possible.

I think most of us get ideas about things that we may have not seen or done before, but don’t we usually dispel them for just that reason . . they are not normal! Or, I have never done that so I don’t have the ability. Or, that’s never been done before! But yet, there are thousands of people doing new and uncommon things all the time – and they are human!

Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things changes.”

At first this may sound silly, of course that’s the case, but what does this actually mean? You can literally change your perception which changes how you see things, thus affects how you think abut them and what actions you will or won’t take. The way you look a things, your perception is the pivot point in your life.  It can either support you or sabotage you.

The people who do the seemingly miraculous have a slightly different perception of what is possible than most people. It’s not so much in their abilities as it is in their feeling that it is possible. One of the well used analogies for this is the example of Roger Bannister, who was the first runner to break the 4 minute time for running a mile on a track. And soon after he did this, several other runners did the same thing.

tigerWhy? Up to that point, the common belief was that it was not humanly possible – period! This was the belief that all runners help, their perception. Once one man did it, their perceptions changes, they now saw and believed in the possibility that they too could do the same. In sports where the differences between athletes results are very slight, the fastest or best are not considered to have been chosen and provided special help from God. Other athletes know there is just some small difference in training or technique that allows for one to outperform the others.

But in other areas of life we tend to see many of the uncommon things as somehow performed by the hand of God. This is one place where I think a lot of people get stuck in perceiving their ability to do or experience something more uncommon, it’s in their belief about what they are capable of. It’s a commonly held belief that we are separate from what we define as God, and that God is who is doing all the miraculous things.

It’s generally thought that we humans have certain abilities, which we have defined by what we commonly see and anything beyond that must be from God. The thing is, if a few people or even just one person can do something, it is evidence of a human capability. We are here to help the universe express what’s possible. This is why we have free will and the ability to think as we do. In this physical realm, we are the ones that notice what could be done through our experiences.

No other thing on this planet can change at will what the intelligent universe does for them. An onion seed will always be an onion, a tiger will always be a tiger. Yes, a human will always be a human, but he can be a human standing atop a 50 story building built with materials and methods an onion or tiger cannot fathom. We humans are the conduit here on earth for the ever expanding self expression of God.

We have far more capabilities than we know, we are just beginning to imagine our potential. Anything that we conceive of doing is supported byskyscraper universal intelligence, God. What we ask for is provided, just as the tiger gets what it needs and the onion seed can grow into the plant it desires to be. It is our limitation placed on our abilities that keeps us from what is called miraculous. What is new and different to us today is just the next step in the self expression of the universe, and we can allow it to flow through us if we choose.

And it’s not just about our abilities, but our right, our role in this reality we live in. We are of God, just as a leaf is of the tree – both providing something to the whole and receiving from the whole. Of course you and I do not make it all happen, but we are a critical part in the process. We are the conduits through which the divine flows.

The crux of the matter regarding is it a miracle or normal is, our beliefs can and do affect our perceptions, which are the only filters through which we take in everything. And, once we take it in, we interpret it . . .again influenced by our beliefs.

When we see more as being possible for us in our lives and in others, we will expand our thinking as well as the actions we will take. Knowing that you are an integral part of the intelligent universe, an individual expression of God, you realize that the thoughts you get are for a reason. They are for you to act on, not dispel as undo-able. They are for you to learn to allow to unfold. Just as every leaf on a tree has a purpose, you too have this connection with source.

So why not choose to look at what is considered miraculous, as normal. Normal for you to follow the divine nudge you are given. To not have fear and doubt about it because you know where it comes from and how it is supported – it’s possible and doable! Your ideas are supported the same way as the dna of an onion seed is supported.

What if you followed your inspired thoughts? Would that not be a grand purpose!

 

Here are some affirmative statements and questions for you to consider:

Why do I so easily follow my inspiration?

How can I easily follow my inspiration?

How can I allow life to unfold through me?

Why am I so excited about following my passion?

Why am I able to know anything as possible?

 

Are You Blinded By Your Life?

Your life is going on and on and on. This is a good thing of course and your brain is designed to keep it this way. Part of your brains function is to simplify as much as possible and to help you feel good which it is very good at. Now you may think that you are always feeling as good as you want this is because your brain sees keeping things the same as more comforting than change. So even what may not be good for you is perpetuated. Your brain is very good at keeping everything the same, in fact it helps to enhance whatever has already been experienced. The way the brain sees this is, you must want it – you chose it, even if not consciously.

The easiest course for your life is for more of the same and that is likely what you have been experiencing. This of course may be all good if you are totally satisfied with everything. But if you want anything about your life to be different, that’s not what your brain is in charge of. When your day is completely full of what you already think, feel and do where does the new come in? When your unconscious and conscious though are consumed with what is now going on, which I assure you they are, all of your attention is there as well. Your day to day life is essentially a habit that continues to feed and support itself, keeping you locked in as it is.

What happens is that you can become blind to other things, that are different. How this affects your life is this – You can become so involved with your repeating thoughts which increase in importance by default that you are not even aware of what you are not doing, what you are missing, and what is deeply important to you. I ran across a video that illustrates this. Pay attention to the guy speaking and do what he instructs you to do. Perception

This attention blindness keeps us doing what we have done and away from what is different and unrelated. You’ve heard the saying, “you can’t see the forest through the trees.” You may not see things that are right in front of you because your attention is already taken up with something. When focusing on the trees that are right in front of you, you are not able to see the scope of the entire forest and it’s varied landscapes.

Many of the things that you have grown to think are important because of your continual involvement, may not be so important to you at a deeper level. As you focus your attention on something it’s importance increases just from the increased presence of the involved thoughts and actions. With this higher level of importance your brain gives it more attention too making it even more prominent in your conscious and unconscious thought, thus many other things are completely shut out of your awareness.

It is important to know that you can really only focus on one thing at a time. When you are ‘multi-tasking’ you are actually jumping quickly back and forth from one thing to another. There is only so much of this that your brain is capable of doing. Plus, there is the time utilized factor. There are 24 hours in a day and when you have allowed the repetitive thoughts to inhabit those hours you are awake, there is no more time for other, new thoughts. You can easily use up your day pretty much thinking about the same things as you did yesterday and the day before. So where does new thinking fit it?

Essentially your life is easily consumed with what you have already experienced, have thought about a lot and have established feelings for. This is almost too simple. Allowing your daily life to continue on in the same way, as your brain helps you do, you are actually preventing yourself from seeing and experiencing anything new and different.

You do however have the ability and the right to make changes in your life anytime you want, you must choose to first and then follow through with persistence and determination to override what is already established in your mind. Your real power as a human lies with your ultimate command of your thought. Just because your brain functions the way it does does not prevent you from aver changing any of it. Where the problem lies is that most of us have a pattern of allowing our minds to perpetuate the same thoughts and experiences over and over rather than making frequent changes. Making frequent changes and adjustments to your thinking can become part of your normal operating system once do do it for a while. Your brain will support this just as it has supported anything else you have focused on.

To change any of your repeating life experience you will need to assert your command of your thought and make choices about what you do and don’t want to be your life experience. Just be aware of how your brain works, it wants to keep you comfortable by keeping things as they are.

 As you work on change you may experience some of the following:

  •  Un-supportive ‘Mind Chatter’,
  • Negative thoughts,

  • Doubt and worry,

  • Challenging your ability and self-esteem,

  • Brain fog, clouding your thought,

  • Anxiety,

  • Distraction,

  • Short term gratification,

  • and more.

 

Don’t let this stop you, you don’t need to remain blinded by your existing life experience. Realizing what may occur up front you will be less likely to be influenced by it. Determination, persistence and the belief that you are fully capable will help you learn to make the wanted adjustments to your thought and what you focus on. It’s your mind, use it to your benefit.

Can You Give Up Existing Thoughts and Perceptions?

One of the things that makes it tough to change your thinking is the attachment to existing thoughts. At first you may think that you wouldn’t do such a thing when the new mode of thinking is what you think you want. And of course this is true, but there is the aspect of your mind that loves to hold on to what you know and are familiar with. It’s very much like how a magnet automatically attracts iron and steel. Your existing thoughts seem to have a power of their own. They don’t of course, other than through your allowing them to. But the hard part comes with your not always being aware that these thoughts are even there. Your unconscious mind harbors these thoughts which are integrated into your base mental operating system Two aspects that are very powerful with us humans are the desire for comfort and following the familiar. Even when thoughts are not really in our best interest but are familiar to us, we will gravitate towards them, craving what is known. We generally have a hard time facing the unknown, thus we shy away from it rather more often seeking what is known and comfortable. In our desire to eliminate the unknown, we attempt to define, categorize and organize everything to put it all into neat order that we can feel comfortable with. This of course can not actually be done. In reality everything is in constant change, but because we are generally uncomfortable with new and different, we seek the known no matter how inappropriate it may be for us. This is also why thoughts and actions that don’t serve your best interest are so readily held onto and acted upon automatically in your unconscious mind. “Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.” — Glenda Cloud Part of your mind is trying to help you feel comfortable by building a database of what you have already experienced and use this as often as possible to help you feel good. One of the basic human drives is to feel good and our unconscious mind is geared to help accomplish this. I know, how can doing something that is harmful such as a bad habit be comfortable? It can in the sense that it is known. It is more comfortable than what you have not done before because at least it is known to you. As you know many people will hang on to some very destructive habits without knowing why. This is one of the main reasons why change is so difficult. For the most part you are unaware of this mental activity as your unconscious mind efficiently streamlines many of your thought processes. Don’t get upset with your brain, it’s just doing it’s job. Just imagine if you had to consciously think about everything your mind did - you wouldn’t have time to do anything above your basic life support, if that. “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” — Abraham H. Maslow Our unconscious mind, much like a computer operating system, performs many functions without our need to be aware of them. But also like a computer program, your automatic brain functions can be altered. As a programmer can go in and change a program such as Microsoft Word and get it to perform different functions, you can change many of your basic thoughts, feelings and perceptions that automatically guide your behavior. The question is - are you willing to face your basic comfort seeking programming in order to experience something new and different in your life? You must choose to step into the unknown, into what is new to you and away from what you have been deriving some comfort from. On the surface this seems and feels unnatural - but it’s not. Learning to face and accept the uncertainty of the unknown releases your ability to change your lot in life, realize your potential and increase your happiness. Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.” This applies here with your perceptions about the unknown, comfort and feeling good. When you change how you look at change, the unknown, anything new, you can affect your related behavior and how your automatic unconscious mind tries to keep you away from it. Your life is designed to continuously develop with you becoming more of what you are capable of as you go along. When you allow yourself to shy away from change you are actually stopping this free flow of growth. When you see something new as being somewhat painful because it is different, this is a perception - a choice. Something new and different does not come with discomfort attached that is your doing. Nothing comes with perceptions or emotional feelings attached - that is all of our doing. One of the most powerful self-help methods is totally free. Ask yourself questions, the right questions. Your subconscious will seek to answer your serious heartfelt questions. And questions can be used to assist with changing the way you perceive the unknown and change so that you welcome it rather than avoid it. Ask yourself, “How can this be beneficial to me?” “How can this be more beneficial than remaining as I have for so long?” “How can this, new and different activity, better support the life I want?” The questions you can ask are endless. It will take a little practice to figure out what to ask, just keep playing with it - having the intent of creating effective questions you will discover the right questions for your situatuion. You will also likely need to learn to listen for the answers. Quieting the incessant mind chatter is necessary and can be done in various ways such as breathing and meditation. Another angle for questions is to ask yourself why you feel as you do about change, comfort, happiness, new and different to see if you can get clarity into your perceptions about them. This then allows you to see what you don’t want which then leads to the opposite, what you DO want. Take the position mentally that something new and different is basically good and beneficial, ask questions seeking how this is. Rather than your old way of looking at change as uncomfortable and undesirable. Look for the benefits, not the detriments - this is a change of perception. Your emotional feelings will follow your perceptions, you will feel different about change when you look at it differently. Be proactive with how you look at things, choose the perceptions that best support the life you are meant to live. Just because you have had a certain perception now does not mean you must keep it forever. The first step is to change the way you look at change. “Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” — Herbert A. Otto John Halderman John Halderman teaches and writes in the areas of personal growth and development focusing on effective methods for self actualization, increased satisfaction and happiness. For more: http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com http://www.designalifesystem.com

Do You Start More Than You Finish?

Another article in the ‘Daily Action For Self Improvement’ series, articles focusing on the personal development and growth actions you can take daily to support a high level of happiness and satisfaction in your life. How many things have you began and put aside before completing? If you can answer, “many”, you are a ’starter’. Do you have a tendency to get excited about doing something, begin it, then soon get sidetracked by interest in somewhat new. This can be any type of project, a new career or job, a hobby, a business idea, even a relationship - whatever, just anything that gets put aside when your interest clings to something new. If you can relate to this, you are also perhaps quite frustrated with the lack of money, satisfaction and happiness in your life. What’s the problem? You try so hard; you are always involved with or working on something yet you don’t see the results you initially desire. What is going on with this repetitive cycle you are stuck in? * You do not have a clear course in your life to act as a beacon keeping you on track. * You don’t have a clearly defined set of specific goals, targets or a vision to serve as benchmarks in your progress. * You are not managing your time properly nor sticking to appropriate tasks. * Allowing your focus to bounce around shows you are not fully committed to a big picture. * You are not benefiting emotionally from the reward and satisfaction of accomplishment. * Your personal confidence is likely not how it ought to be. * Your frustration level is damaging to your personal power, energy and motivation. * You are likely to be questioning or even doubting your ideas and decisions. Now look at what a success cylce can be like. The fact that you are bouncing your attention from idea to idea indicates that you are not aware enough of your purpose. Your purpose is what you are here to do to serve the universe and your work supports this when directed properly. Discovering or getting a better sense of your purpose in life gives you a specific direction to focus much of your attention. From this you will be better able to decide where to place the focus of your thought and the energy of your actions. Seeing and feeling your purpose will reveal a deep intent and a strong motivation. You should feel strongly like you are on a mission. This helps you to remain focused and on task. You will have the inner strength and conviction to take command of your thinking, directing your thoughts and actions towards supporting your mission. The questioning and doubting mentioned above comes up when your inner self is hampered by your conscious attempts to seek happiness and satisfy your ego mind. Without consciously knowing your direction you will not be giving your all to what you should be focused on. You can actually cause your inner guidance to be clouded to your perception, not receiving it’s full benefit. When you determine a direction based on your purpose you can more appropriately set up the steps and focused actions that will support this. You don’t need to know every step in the beginning, just enough to get yourself going and more is revealled as you go. Through your inner guidance, intuition and conscious thought details are exposed as you are immersed in the process. If you sit back and attempt to figure it all out ahead of time before starting you will remain stuck. You must begin, in trust, taking steps forward in order to discover the next steps.. You will see the way forward as you procede in the right direction. Accomplishing some goals or targets along the way definately gives your confidence and motivation a boost. This is crucial in keeping your energy and interest at a high level. Continued accomplishment and motiovation supports willingness to do what is necessary. Daily planning and refocusing on the specific tasks to be accomplished each day is important to keep yourself from getting mired in daily life. You must have an intention and the burning desire behind it every day in order to trigger the self-discipline to stick to it, as it is so easy to get distracted amid everyday things that do not directly support your purpose. You can be busy all day and not get done anything that you had set out to if you are not diligent. Time management is critical to your overall satisfaction and progress, there is not time to do everything you can think of in a day. Learn to be selective with the thoughts you hold and the activities you are involved in so that you are not merely getting moved by life but rather focusing on your desires. This should be reinforced with daily reminders of your purpose, intent and goals. Set up a daily plan for your activities every day, be determined to stay on course, and check yourself often, it’s very easy to veer away. If supporting your purpose includes several things, know that you can’t do everything at once. One thing accomplished provides far more motivation than 3 things half-done. Determine the method and order that projects will be done and commit to when they are to be completed. Focus your focus and atttention to the first or most vital step then go through the list - you are now on a mission. You will soon develop the positive habit of the success cycle. Your personal development is your responsibility, take control of your scattered thought and find the key to focused attention. Happiness and satisfaction are the result of purposeful accomplishment. John Halderman is a trainer and writer dedicated to assisting people with ideas, methods and tools to help them do, be and feel better enhancing their overall happiness and satisfaction. Get the guide detailing many activities you can use to daily support your personal development and growth. Websites: http://www.designalifesystem.com http://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com
November 9, 2007

Are You Trying To Share Yourself With Your Past

A situation has come to my attention about someone who has been having problems for a long time trying to insist that other family members go along with how he wants to sort them out. He thinks discussing the mess of the past with others will help everyone with their stress, anxiety and depression, but mostly himself. He has been having a hard time living in the present without including the past.

This is a great example of how many get stuck in the idea that the only way to live fully in life is to go pack into the past and drudge it all up. That the only way to be happy today is to find and identify the ‘nugget’ in the past that seems to be at the root of your problems.

In order to see how personally destructive this is we must clear up some things about our existence and thinking.

First, the only REAL moment in your life is right now. Your future is your projection and your past is your memory.

So, the only way for the past to be a part of your life at this moment is for YOU to bring it here. Something that occurred in the past is not real today, but you can make it real by bringing the thoughts and emotional feeling of it into your thought space today. And through the miracle of your thought power you can choose to feel the same emotional feelings related to something from the past right now in the present. It’ s the most perfect re-enactment.

This is how your emotional pain from the past is brought current. Your past cannot bring itself into the now! Unless you choose to give those memories unlimited power in your life to come up at will and trigger emotional feelings at will.

Now I know that many feel the need to go back and discover the root cause of their pain feeling that this is the only way to alter the way they feel today. This is quite common, but so is the number of people stuck in a place of unhappiness waiting for the cure.

Where actually the only cure is today. How you choose to be and do today. There is a decision you must make, do you choose to live how you can live today or do you keep reliving some particular painful parts of the past?

Why most who think they need to dredge up the past is to ‘know’ why they think and feel as they do now. OK, yes you are a compilation of all of your perceptions linked together throughout your life. Since your perception is all you really have to bring everything into your life with, it influences who you are right now.

However, if you do go back in your past and find what you think is the root cause of particular thoughts and feelings, what then? In order for those thought patterns and attached emotional reactions to not be as they are today you will need to make some personal effort to alter them. They are the result of an initial event plus many other things that have been linked and have influenced your thinking along the way.

So, here is the surprise, just discovering the root cause will not make the thinking habits magically go away, all it does is perhaps relieve your curiosity and wonder about how it all started. You will still need to work on yourself to alter the thought ands behavioral patterns. The thoughts and behavioral patterns can be altered by you either way, so why put your life on hold to search for the one thing you think will make you better, make yourself into what you want anyway.

Some may think I am making this sound too simple. They will say, but I can’t think about any thing else, I can’t function with not knowing. These are valid, but only because you have chosen for them to be. You have chosen to allow them to be in your present moment and have the presence that they do.

What is really going on here is that you are shifting the responsibility of making your life all that it can be today, to something outside of yourself. You are placing the responsibility on the ‘thing’ that is may be the root of your troubling thoughts. “This will fix my life.” It won’t! It will only clarify a question you asked and decided to use as a condition to your happiness.

Even the question itself does not ‘make’ you do or feel anything, you choose to place a condition on it that it must be answered to your satisfaction in order for your life to go on. But, you can also choose differently. The responsibility to live harmoniously in the now is yours.

Why are some people consumed with needing to know about these root beginnings of their troubling thoughts? Because they don’t know what else to do. They think that if I can go back I can undo it all. You can’t, it happened. All you can do to change its influence on you is to change your interpretation of your perception of it. And this can be done right here right now without even knowing the details or knowing if it actually happened.

Other people have made a different choice, to not consider what happened in the past to be the deciding factor in their experience today.

You start by forgiving the past, everything that occurred and everyone in it for what they may have done. And this includes yourself. That’s all, that’s it. It is done, time to live today. Sound too simple? Most of the truths are simple, only us humans figure out debilitating ways to entangle ourselves in contrived complexity. And then stress about it.

I didn’t make this up, if you are involved with a religion, what do they say about forgiveness? But you may not be allowing yourself to fully do it because you have chosen to hold onto the past, and you can’t do both! Why has forgiveness been taught for centuries, because it takes care of these extremely debilitating problems that arise when we don’t.

This is how life works for us humans, whatever thoughts we choose to make our predominant thoughts have the most influence on our now. So, if you choose to think you are troubled today because of your past, you are. If you choose to change those thought and emotional patterns for today, you can do that also.

The only way to make your today any different than yesterday is to think and do things differently.

Sometimes finally discovering that root to your problems actually causes more problems. What if you presently think that maybe a certain person may have done something to you that was traumatic and started the troubling thought pattern. Right now you are worried about this possible truth and anxious about needing to know for sure. Then, say you find out it is true, just as you had thought, the person did something that hurt you. Now what?

Many time people in this position now become very angry with the person because they can, they now know for sure. Now on top of the original problems you had surrounding your suspicion you have deep resentment and anger. Much better, right? No, now you are in a worse situation that still requires you to come to terms with all of it in order to attempt to live in the now.

Any and all negative emotions only hurt you not the person you relate them to. Your emotions are completely experience by you alone. If you are mad AT someone, feel hatred TOWARDS someone, HOLD disdain or resentment, guess whose body and mind are suffering from the negative energy? You. Here is the interesting point, you are the only one who can turn on an emotion and you are the only one that experiences them. Hmm, So who can change them?

Danger, continuing this WILL be hazardous to your mental and physical health.

This incessant desire to find ‘the’ answer is no different than other forms of striving where we have an insatiable desire to have, do or be something. And just the same as with striving, if we place a CONDITION of its acquisition we are setting ourselves up for failure. Things regularly turn out differently than we may initially desire. Then our conditional response is set into motion, usually not one of pleasure. The trees that survive heavy winds are the more flexible ones!

As I said earlier, why not start right now to forgive anyone who you think may have done something, in case they did. Forgive yourself for being involved, however you may have been. This is the only way to actually relieve the pressure of the emotions you are feeling regarding what may have happened. Even discovering that root event will not relieve the pressure. Forgive and you can begin new and fresh, allowing yourself to be receptive to what your now has in store for you rather than trying to mix the past with the present.

Frankly if something in the past were so potentially painful why would someone want it over a new moment with out it?

From here you can begin to work on the thought patterns and behaviors that are not in line with what you really want ion your life without the burden of constantly refreshing the past. There are many techniques for changing your predominant thoughts to thoughts that are positive and life affirming, such as positive affirmations.

That is another topic but start with a wholesale forgiveness of everything that has happened in your life and everyone that was or may have been involved. This will help you turn your past into memories rather than emotionally charged events you are bringing up to the present.

High self-esteem and great self-confidence are not supported by dwelling on the past, they are boosted by a positive attitude towards your life’s possibilities. The best stress reliever is letting go of the past. Positive thinking is rising above the mire of the past.

For your past – thank it, forgive it and bless it!

For your future – move on, find peace and be happy!

Forgive, learn, grow and live. . .

John

John Halderman, a writer, speaker, and trainer intent on helping you get real results from your personal growth efforts.

He supports methods, tools, and knowledge that bridge the gap between information and effective results.

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