Category Archives for "Attitude"
Realizing how your attitude is based on your perception of all that you see you can manage and direct it as you choose.
Realizing how your attitude is based on your perception of all that you see you can manage and direct it as you choose.
How often have you found that you either, can’t seem to get going in the morning or that the stuff of daily life just seems to suck you in real fast? So, right from the early hours of the day you are already dragging and are mentally off base.
This of course is not a preferable state of mind to be in, you are not really in command of your thinking, in touch with yourself or very focused on what you would like. This kind of mindset will have you easily repeating an unintended cycle day in and day out. The only way to progress in life is to become present with your awareness and be in command of your thinking.
So, how can you change this habit of falling into this same cycle every day? One way is by centering yourself in the morning. There are various ways this can be done, one is by positive self statements. This could be called affirmations, but that would not fully describe this method of centering and energizing yourself. The point is to boost your self-confidence and set the right attitude so you can be more focused and powerful as you go about your day.
In the morning after you first get up and you have done any other self centering exercises such as meditation or visualization, stand in front of a mirror – look yourself in the eye.
Ask yourself, “Who an I?”
Then make some powerful affirmative statements about yourself.
Like:
I am powerful!
I am talented!
I am loving!
I am efficient, I get things done!
I am the best at . . . !
These statements can be anything positive you want to say about yourself.
More will come to you as you begin to do this.
Say these statements to yourself verbally with energy and conviction!
Get loud if you want, this will enhance the energy build up.
The idea is to get yourself to believe these things about yourself, and to feel the energy of them.
You will find yourself not only waking up to the day easier, but more energized and positive about yourself going into the day.
Here is a wonderful example I came across to show you how it can be done.
Notice the energy!
. . . you don’t need to get up on the vanity!
John
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What do you want to be today?
Happy, joyful and pleasant, OR unhappy, miserable and crabby?
Will you expect good or will be expecting something to go wrong?
Will you feel confident in yourself or afraid you aren’t good enough?
You get the idea here. The thing is, you can actually decide which way you will be. All of your attitudes and feelings are the result of a definition. Your definition of yourself. The key is, this is not set in stone – it is set in your mind. And you can change it. You can choose a new and different self definition if the one you are now holding does not fully support the life that you want.
Of course, you did not sit down one day and lay out your self definition . . but you can! What you think of yourself has developed gradually over the years with much of it being a result of interpretations you made about experiences you were involved in. Now you were not likely consciously aware of these interpretations either, most of them were done based on other past experiences a well. All of these interpretations build upon themselves and without realizing it you just believe it all as just being the way you are.
You can actually change they way you interpret things, as well as the way you see yourself. Your unconscious mind, which is where all the automatic thinking and reactions come from is really serving what it knows that you want. And at some point, you instructed the unconscious mind what you wanted. And it’s function is to serve you. Your unconscious mind acts on your behalf all the time, after all it keeps your body functioning without you having to pay it any attention.
But there is a key fact with all of this. Your unconscious mind is not in charge – your conscious mind is. It may appear the other way around because so much seems to happen so automatically. The only way your unconscious mind knows what to do is from an order from the conscious mind. And your unconscious mind is very loyal and obedient. What you may have told it 25 years ago, it is still following as law. Your conscious mind is in charge. You can issue new commands to your unconscious obedient mind when you choose. The only catch is – that you must first know that you can. Well, now you know.
Now you can pay attention to what is happening automatically with your thought, your attitude, your perceptions – everything can be changed. You can decide which of these automatic functions serves you well in the way you want your life to be. You can rewrite the script for these thoughts and behaviors. Just because you have had a certain demeanor does not mean you are stuck with it. How do you want to carry yourself all day long? Your attitude? Your reactions? Your tone of voice with others? How you see everything?
Once you begin to notice characteristics about yourself, you can see which ones you like and which ones not so much fit your ideal way. Then, you can choose how you would rather heave it be. You can choose to be pleasant, happy, trusting, confident and more. And at the beginning of the day is a fine time to set things straight. In the morning, right after awaking from sleep, you can tell yourself what you will be like today. You can preset your disposition and your attitude. And know this will affect everything you do and experience. In this universe we are in, like attracts like – it’s a law.
You can declare, “I AM calm” “I am at peace.” “I am happy.” “I am confident.” “I am good with change.” “I am highly capable.” Now this may take a little while to take effect. It’s possible to change right away, but your unconscious programming may need a little coaxing to drop something it has operated with for many years. It will tend to fall back to the old ways in the beginning. But you, being in charge consciously, have the power to outlast your unconscious mind as long as you stay alert and diligent. I won’t say it’s not easy to fall back, it is, but you are stronger than your unconscious programming – you are in charge, consciously.
So, in the morning, set yourself up to be more like you want. Choose to be happy and joyous, and to treat people well – including yourself! Use affirmative statements repeatedly essentially to convince your unconscious of what you want, it will get the message and make the changes. Set the tone for yourself, and your day. You will be amazed at how much better things seem to go.
It’s your life, your mind – so take command, and choose.
John
Many people involved with self improvement and personal growth give affirmations a thumbs down, actually saying they are worthless, but there are also many who give them the status of being the absolute key to success. So how do you look at something that is described as being at total opposite ends of the spectrum, from magic elixir of change to a useless waste of time?
I would like to inject some clarification into the topic of the usefulness of using affirmations in your self improvement efforts to change and further expand your life. The topic of affirmations is no different than any concept, there are two end of the spectrum which can be looked at. What I have found with most things there is a fine line in the middle between the two end which is where the value and power is found. And certainly with affirmations one can look at them from a perspective too far one way or the other.
Continue reading
Here in the US we have a new president as most know. We can hope that some new and different things can come as the result of this. Something that I noticed as being very interesting and positive is the comments I saw from many people when interviewed after the Inauguration.
I noticed how quite a few people said that now, since Obama being the first ‘black’ president, all things are possible. Now first, this is a good thing to see so many people have been able to allow their perspectives to change because of who has been elected.Continue reading
Are you a done with yourself or are you continuing to discover more
about yourself, seek personal growth and development?
You see it all around how science keeps going, discovering more and more
about the world and universe we exist in. As technology improves, which
is change, science is able to understand more about our universe plus
obtain more ways to describe it all. For example, this picture of a
supernova remnant was not possible just a few years ago even though the
object was there.
This is how life is, ever expanding in its awareness of itself. Plus,
the increasing awareness of humans to what is already there. Much of the
change seems to not exist or that the change is very slow, but it is
there. Everything in the universe grows and changes we are certainly not
excluded. We have the ability to continue to change and grow throughout
our entire life, including our final change here, death.
But at the same time there are so many people who are ‘checking out’ so
early. Getting tired, feeling aches and pain, feeling beat down –
telling themselves they are wearing out -that it’s too late. I’m not
trying to tell you that pains should be ignored, but how you look at
them can have a huge affect on the power they play in your life.
The biggest factor to your growth is your thinking. What you think about
your life and your growth determines what you see, feel and do. If you
see possibilities – you will see them, and if you see the ‘end’ in your
mind, you will see it in your life. If you think you are too tired, sick
or whatever – you are.
Time to check yourself:
· How are you the same today as you were 10 years ago?
· How are you different?
· What are you doing that you thought were not possible for you a few
years ago?
· Do you look at things in the same way you did several years ago?
· Do you see possibilities for your life or feel hopeless?
· Do you feel that your life continues to move on or do you feel stuck?
· Are you open to new ideas and concepts or do you want to keep things
the way they are?
· Do you feel your problems hold you back, sap your energy and nix your
motivation?
· Are your dreams alive or have you given up on what you want in your
life?
Can you change any of this? Well yes you can – much of it. Many times we
let one thing affect all of our life. We allow our attitude and outlook
to be clouded when one thing has happened when we don’t need to.
Certainly there are situations where something may temporarily set you
back but it does not need to be for all time. Only you can determine if
you are temporarily off or if it has been too long. You will need to ask
yourself honest straight questions about it. The easy answer is of
course, “I will just suffer a little longer” but maybe not the best!
The truth is that a broken foot does not come with a bad attitude,
that’s our choice. A marital separation does not come with resentment
that carries through all of your life, that’s our choice. Because
something did not work out for us does not mean nothing ever will,
that’s our choice to think so. The thing to be careful for is that when
something that appears negative happens don’t allow it to affect all of
your life any more than is necessary.
Ask yourself some key questions that help enhance your self awareness so
you discover how you think and feel about everything. There is always
more out there for you if you allow it and if you are open to recognize
it. When you are clouded by negative reactions it may not seem so, but
you can always change and grow. Your outlook on life is a choice –
yours. You are never done, unless you choose.
John Halderman – More on daily life actions to support a better life,
https://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com
One of the things that makes it tough to change your thinking is the attachment to existing thoughts.
At first you may think that you wouldn’t do such a thing when the new mode of thinking is what you think you want. And of course this is true, but there is the aspect of your mind that loves to hold on to what you know and are familiar with. It’s very much like how a magnet automatically attracts iron and steel. Your existing thoughts seem to have a power of their own. They don’t of course, other than through your allowing them to.
But the hard part comes with your not always being aware that these thoughts are even there. Your unconscious mind harbors these thoughts which are integrated into your base mental operating system
Two aspects that are very powerful with us humans are the desire for comfort and following the familiar. Even when thoughts are not really in our best interest but are familiar to us, we will gravitate towards them, craving what is known.
We generally have a hard time facing the unknown, thus we shy away from it rather more often seeking what is known and comfortable. In our desire to eliminate the unknown, we attempt to define, categorize and organize everything to put it all into neat order that we can feel comfortable with.
This of course can not actually be done. In reality everything is in constant change, but because we are generally uncomfortable with new and different, we seek the known no matter how inappropriate it may be for us. This is also why thoughts and actions that don’t serve your best interest are so readily held onto and acted upon automatically in your unconscious mind.
“Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.” — Glenda Cloud
Part of your mind is trying to help you feel comfortable by building a database of what you have already experienced and use this as often as possible to help you feel good. One of the basic human drives is to feel good and our unconscious mind is geared to help accomplish this.
I know, how can doing something that is harmful such as a bad habit be comfortable? It can in the sense that it is known. It is more comfortable than what you have not done before because at least it is known to you. As you know many people will hang on to some very destructive habits without knowing why. This is one of the main reasons why change is so difficult.
For the most part you are unaware of this mental activity as your unconscious mind efficiently streamlines many of your thought processes. Don’t get upset with your brain, it’s just doing it’s job. Just imagine if you had to consciously think about everything your mind did – you wouldn’t have time to do anything above your basic life support, if that.
“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” — Abraham H. Maslow
Our unconscious mind, much like a computer operating system, performs many functions without our need to be aware of them. But also like a computer program, your automatic brain functions can be altered. As a programmer can go in and change a program such as Microsoft Word and get it to perform different functions, you can change many of your basic thoughts, feelings and perceptions that automatically guide your behavior.
The question is – are you willing to face your basic comfort seeking programming in order to experience something new and different in your life? You must choose to step into the unknown, into what is new to you and away from what you have been deriving some comfort from. On the surface this seems and feels unnatural – but it’s not.
Learning to face and accept the uncertainty of the unknown releases your ability to change your lot in life, realize your potential and increase your happiness.
Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”
This applies here with your perceptions about the unknown, comfort and feeling good. When you change how you look at change, the unknown, anything new, you can affect your related behavior and how your automatic unconscious mind tries to keep you away from it.
Your life is designed to continuously develop with you becoming more of what you are capable of as you go along. When you allow yourself to shy away from change you are actually stopping this free flow of growth. When you see something new as being somewhat painful because it is different, this is a perception – a choice. Something new and different does not come with discomfort attached that is your doing. Nothing comes with perceptions or emotional feelings attached – that is all of our doing.
One of the most powerful self-help methods is totally free. Ask yourself questions, the right questions. Your subconscious will seek to answer your serious heartfelt questions. And questions can be used to assist with changing the way you perceive the unknown and change so that you welcome it rather than avoid it.
Ask yourself, “How can this be beneficial to me?”
“How can this be more beneficial than remaining as I have for so long?”
“How can this, new and different activity, better support the life I want?”
The questions you can ask are endless. It will take a little practice to figure out what to ask, just keep playing with it – having the intent of creating effective questions you will discover the right questions for your situatuion. You will also likely need to learn to listen for the answers. Quieting the incessant mind chatter is necessary and can be done in various ways such as breathing and meditation.
Another angle for questions is to ask yourself why you feel as you do about change, comfort, happiness, new and different to see if you can get clarity into your perceptions about them. This then allows you to see what you don’t want which then leads to the opposite, what you DO want.
Take the position mentally that something new and different is basically good and beneficial, ask questions seeking how this is. Rather than your old way of looking at change as uncomfortable and undesirable. Look for the benefits, not the detriments – this is a change of perception. Your emotional feelings will follow your perceptions, you will feel different about change when you look at it differently.
Be proactive with how you look at things, choose the perceptions that best support the life you are meant to live. Just because you have had a certain perception now does not mean you must keep it forever. The first step is to change the way you look at change.
“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” — Herbert A. Otto
John Halderman
John Halderman teaches and writes in the areas of personal growth and development focusing on effective methods for self actualization, increased satisfaction and happiness. For more:
https://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com
http://www.designalifesystem.com
Another article in the ‘Daily Action For Self Improvement’ series, articles focusing on the personal development and growth actions you can take daily to support a high level of happiness and satisfaction in your life.
In looking what you can do each day to support what you want in your life – check your thinking throughout the day.
Ask a simple question of yourself, “Am I a magnet for what I want?”
You see, your predominate thoughts direct your magnet. Unfortunately, spending a lot of time thinking about what we don’t want seems to be the norm.
But doing this just defines your creation magnet – so you are essentially requesting more of what you don’t want.
You do this when you re-play in your head;
What you don’t like,
What you are upset about,
What you worry about,
What you are afraid of
And, this is so easy to do, it is automatic. But it doesn’t have to be. You can stop and shift ‘thought gears’ whenever you want.
The first option is to switch your focus onto something, anything that you can feel good about. Get yourself to delve into this topic for a while to divert your attention.
It is easier to replace thought with another thought than it is to try to get yourself to just stop the current thinking. Replace your thought with something desirable.
A second option when you catch yourself stuck in ‘the negative thought spiral’ is to look for the opposite of what you are thinking. Usually at the opposite of a dislike is something you would want. Identify this and place your focus on it, allowing yourself to feel better.
Wherever your mind is – you are seeking more, even if it is what you don’t want. So, train yourself to not remain in that state of whirling around in what you don’t want – use that to look for the opposite, what you do like. Or even just switch to thinking about anything to get your mind into a happier place.
To get yourself to begin to notice more often what you are thinking about try this:
Get a 3 x 5 card to take with you for the day.
Write on it –
“What am I thinking about right now?”
“Does it make me happy?”
“What else can I be thinking?”
Keep this where you will see it often. It’s good to put it somewhere where you will accidentally notice it without thinking about it. This helps you catch yourself off guard so you can take notice of your thoughts. Using a tool like this can help you to learn to take more notice to what you are thinking all the time.
When you are aware of your thoughts, you can decide if you want to change them.
John Halderman
John Halderman teaches and writes in the areas of personal growth and development focusing on effective methods for self actualization, increased satisfaction and happiness. For more:
https://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com
http://www.designalifesystem.com
Today I want to just remind you about recognizing and giving thanks for something that is important to you.
Here in the US, we will be celebrating our countries independence.
This is a big holiday here, which I presume most are in support of.
This holiday, as are most, is in celebration of something important to a group of people.
Taking time to pay attention to and recognize something that you are thankful for is a worthy activity.
Like the Independence Day celebration here in the US, many things are looked at once a year as a reminder of the meaning and why it is important to us.
This can of course be done on any schedule you choose.
Once a year is good for some things, but more frequently may be desirable.
There are things you can recognize daily or even more often.
Anything that is important to you,
Anything that has deep meaning to you,
Anything that you want to be a part of your daily life,
A way of thinking,
A person,
An activity,
A behavior,
A mindset,
A perspective,
Anything that you feel thankful and grateful for,
Can and should be noticed and celebrated often.
Often enough to keep it a part of your daily operating system,
Or as some call,
“Your map of reality”
The way to have the things that are truly important to you be an integral part of the way you think and behave is to be appreciative and thankful for them.
Since it is so easy for our moment to moment thoughts and activities to cloud out things that are important to us, it can be very powerful when you purposefully keep yourself aware and reminded on a regular basis.
Even with something like national independence, wouldn’t it be of value to be aware of all that it may mean to you more often than once a year?
John
“The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best. Therefore
it tends to become the best. It takes the form or character of
the best, and will receive the best.” — Wallace Wattles
“Gratitude is an opener of locked-up blessings.” — Marianne Williamson
“The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted. As you begin to be grateful for what most people take for granted, that vibration of gratitude makes you more receptive to good in your life.”
– Michael Beckwith
I didn’t see much of the Oscars this year, but I did catch the acceptance from Reese Witherspoon for Best Actress in “Walk The Line”.
She said, “People used to ask June how she was doing, and she used to say — “I’m just trying to matter.” And I know what she means. You know, I’m just trying to matter, and live a good life and make work that means something to somebody”. I think this is a great attitude to have, for Reese and also June Carter.
Good for both of them, what a great thing to aspire to, what a great outlook on life. This perspective is a great foundation for anything you want to do with your life no matter how simple or elaborate.
This is an example of a base operating principle for your life that is based on your core values. When you establish basic operating principles they tend to guide you through everything in your life. It’s like having a filter to strain everything through to keep just what you want. When something doesn’t match up with your operating principles you don’t get involved.
Establishing your core values is part of what I call the “Foundation Factor” in a successful life design. Having a good foundation makes the rest easier. They don’t build buildings without them! Have you seen, Joe Vitale has come out with his new book, Life’s Missing Instruction Manual. I have not yet seen it, I’m not on his advance copy list yet, maybe next time! I do have one on order, from what I have heard it is good.
So far everything I have seen of Joe’s has been good. I like what he says about personal growth and developent, his concepts are solid. If you are going to buy his book and you want way more additional stuff thrown into the deal, go to http://www.themotherofallbribes.com/
This is huge! Don’t take all the stuff – you will be bogged down for a week, be selective! I have had the opportunity to hear him on several interviews. Most recently with hypnotist Wendi Friesen on her internet radio show on www.wsradio.com, and with internet marketing legend Mark Joyner on his Simpleology Live Learning Event.
In the interview with Mark, Joe laid out how he developed through his life, struggling in his early years. I think he is a good example of someone who has worked on his life and through his diligent efforts has become successful.
We all can grow and develop if we choose to, it can be beneficial to hear the stories of how others have don it. And obviously will continue to grow. Look to others as examples and for modeling how to apply successful thinking and activity into your life.
If they can, you can!
Discover, do and grow,
John