There Is A Reason You Notice And Admire The Traits And Characteristics Of Others

I’m sure you have noticed attributes of another person to be appealing or admirable. This is normal, and can be used to your advantage if you understand why and what you can do with this awareness. Using the characteristics of others can help you to build these up in yourself. This method is called modeling.

You can use the desirable attributes you notice in others as a model to begin thinking and feeling how they can be in you. Actually, the reason you notice and admire specific characteristics in others is because you already have them yourself, they are just subdued. You noticed them in others because these characteristics in you want to be more fully expressed.

Modeling is a powerful way to heighten attributes within you that you want to be more dominant in your daily life. There is a powerful natural human characteristic that you can use to do this. Your mental state and your physiology are linked. You probably know that what you think and feel is transferred and expressed in your body and actions.

What you may not be aware of is that the opposite is true as well. Your thoughts and feelings will respond to your physiology. So, the power in this is that when you see the body posture and behavior of someone exhibiting a trait you admire, you can mimic them and get your mind to respond with like feelings. This has been clearly demonstrated in both the fields of sports and psychology.

So, for instance you admire what appears to be confident behavior in someone, use that as a model. You can at first imagine yourself acting as they do. How are they standing, holding themselves, and projecting themselves? How are they communicating – the tone and inflection of their voice? What feelings do you notice while watching them? And this can be done not only when you are actually watching them, but also in your mind as you think about them and see them in your mind.

Think about the people you have admired some attribute of, and make a list of them. You can categorize them by characteristics. This way you can group similar people together to better help you relate to the attribute you want to heighten.

Like anything new this may take some practice, as you apply some time to doing this. As noticing how you feel when doing it and gradually being able to get yourself to feel your mind and body associating with the trait, you will be applying more energy to aligning and empowering this in yourself. NLP and other disciplines have some techniques for aiding with this process which you may want to look into.

You are capable of doing this on your own, but for most it is not something we are accustomed to doing, so tools and techniques can help us do so. It can be helpful to have a method to help us do something new to use because the mind can tend to resist our efforts just to keep things the way they are. Discomfort is one of the main reasons we discontinue anything new before it’s taken hold in our behavior pattern. 

Just start, and don’t give in to the, “I can’t do this” or “I don’t know how to do this” chatter you may get in your mind. That’s all just your ego mind resisting change. Don’t fight it, rather choose to step through it, you can!

Dies Slowly

by Pablo Neruda

(translated from French)

 

Dies slowly he who transforms himself in slave of habit,

repeating every day the same itineraries,

who does not change brand,

does not risk to wear a new color and doesn’t talk to whom doesn’t know.

 

Dies slowly he who makes of television his guru.

Dies slowly he who avoids a passion,

who prefers black to white

and the dots on the “i” to a whirlpool of emotions,

just those ones that recover the gleam from the eyes,

smiles from the yawns,

hearts from the stumbling and feelings.

 

Dies slowly he who does not overthrow the table when is unhappy at work,

who does not risk the certain for the uncertain

to go toward that dream that is keeping him awake.

Who does not allow, at least one time in life, to flee from sensate advises.

Dies slowly he who does not travel, does not read,

does not listen to music, who does not find grace in himself.

 

Dies slowly he who destroys his self love,

who does not accept somebody’s help.

Dies slowly he who passes his days complaining of

his bad luck or the incessant rain.

Dies slowly he who abandons a project before starting it,

who does not ask over a subject that does not know

or who does not answer when being asked about something he knows.

 

Dies slowly he who does not share his emotions, joys and sadness,

who does not trust, who does not even try.

Dies slowly he who does not relive his memories

and continues getting emotional as if living them at that moment.

Dies slowly he who does not intent excelling,

who does not learn from the stones of the road of life,

who does not love and let somebody love.

 

Let’s avoid death in soft quotes,

remembering always that to be alive demands an effort much bigger

that the simple fact of breathing.

 

 

 

 

Are You Trying To Force Your Desires Into Being?

So you have burning desires and you set goals and intentions for what you want, that’s a good thing.

And you visualize them, along with allowing yourself to feel the emotions of how it will feel to realize them. Then, you get on with figuring out how you will accomplish them! And . . . then there is stress, anxiety, doubt and worry . . . and mostly undesirable results!

The Intelligent Universe, God, is designed to answer your requests, which is also a good thing – a very good thing. However, are you trying to force or micro-manage the universe, God? Are you taking on the responsibility of working on how exactly you will accomplish your desire?

OK, now I have not said that there are not things that you will end up needing to do in order to contribute to the physical manifestation of what you want, I have said that you are trying to figure out how it will all work in exact detail and what you need to do yourself.

You will, in many cases but not all, have to take some action. The question is, who or what decides what these actions are? Who decides what exact actions will fit in with all the pieces of the puzzle so you get the results you want? Are you capable of that? No, you and I are not. There is a power far greater than you and I that has vastly more knowledge about what is possible and how to put it all together in the result you want. Now this isn’t that we don’t play any part of the process, because we do, we are key to it.

Our thoughts, like seeds, are what put the universe in specific action. And then our alignment with the desires results and our purposeful actions contribute to our actual physical experience of the desire. But it is not our job to figure it all out, or to make it all happen, or to even decide the exact outcome.

Our job is to plant the seed and nurture it while knowing it will develop into something very close to our vision. Just like with a flower seed, we don’t know how it actually changes from a seed to a full grown plant, we don’t have to know this – the universe take care of this.

Briefly, the short version of how our desires come to be:

*You ask for what you want to be, do or have with your thoughts and feelings. This becomes a new point of creation – the idea.

*You have complete faith that the universe will bring this to be, so you relax in confidence – feeling happy.
 
*The universe acts on this request, bringing together whatever is needed.

*You are given guidance as to what you ought to do to fulfill your role in the realization.

*You then take the appropriate actions as directed, knowing with full confidence that you have all the ability and resources needed to follow through.

*You keep your predominate attention on being happy now and on the thoughts and feelings of what you intend to experience, not on what you don’t have or want.

There are some places in this process where we can get essentially muck it up! And one of the most common is with our thinking that we need to figure out everything required to get the result we want.  This is like thinking we need to figure out how to make a seed develop into a plant.

So, as the result of anxiousness, fear, uncertainty, the need for control or several other possible reasons, we are driven to plow our limited abilities into figuring it all out. Consider this, our perspectives, beliefs and knowledge are based on where we have been in our life experience, and we now want them to yield something new. Sure, we have abilities which allow us to come to new and different ideas, but do we know what the Intelligent Universe knows?

Yes, we can get a certain amount of progress and good results by mentally and physically powering our way through, but it becomes far more fluid and easy to allow Spirit to figure it all out and learn to listen for the inner guidance as to what we should be doing. A small preception change can have a huge difference in what and how much you realize of what you want.

In our struggles to figure it all out, we can become anxious and stressed. Scientists have now proven that the level of brainwave vibration during stress almost totally shuts down our ability to receive intuitive messages from our inner self, which is our conduit to Spirit. So, the more we attempt to figure it all out, and having multiple undesirable outcomes to our actions, we are becoming stressed and are no longer able to receive the directions about the actions that would be the most appropriate to take.

Most spiritual teachings indicate in some way that our role, once we have thought of and stated what we want, is to trust that it will be provided. That the universe will work out all the details. Then relax, and follow along with the purposeful actions which we are guided to do, keeping the end result in mind. And in taking those actions, we know that we are intended to take them, and that we are fully capable of carrying them through.

Just because you can think of what you want does not mean you know how to get it to happen, but the universe does – choose to trust it!

Dislike Is The The Impetus To Change

It’s so easy to identify what you don’t like or want, we all do this very well. But there is trouble in dwelling on it. Everything in our reality is energy, including our thought, so where it is focused is important. Our thoughts and feelings are the steering mechanism for our energy. When we focus on what we don’t want, we are giving it our energy.

In recent years science has been proving this age old wisdom that everything is energy vibrating at different rates. This is everything, from solid rock, to flesh and bone, to our thoughts. This is how a plant can be registered as responding in a way that could be described as fear when a person in another location thinks about doing specific harm to the plant. All of the energy we are all a part of is interconnected.

Our thoughts are like seeds, there are predictable results based on the energy focus. The intention of an onion seed is to express as an onion plant, the onion cannot change this energy focus. The Universal Spirit ( whatever term you use for the intelligence and power that we are a part of, commonly God.) responds by fulfilling the ‘request’ of the seed, as intended.

We, on the other hand create seeds with our thoughts, which can be changed. Our thought seeds are acted upon in the very same way by Universal Spirit. What we think and feel is a request for something which is fulfilled. We may not be able to see this directly in many cases in our lives because we are not usually clear about what we are requesting. Spirit puts the pieces together and provides an appropriate response or outcome.

When we harbor the negative thoughts and feelings about something that someone did that we dislike, we are actually perpetuating this. Have you ever noticed how a person acts that is stuck on how awful it was that something happened to them. Through their actions, many times they are acting out being a victim, or they may have some kind of retaliatory attitudes and behaviors.

When you feel bad about something, I’m sure you have noticed how it affects your attitude and behavior. One very common way that we perpetuate things is by continuing to talk about them. Griping, complaining, expressing resentment, cutting down the ‘responsible’ party or group are all just the extension of the original occurrence.

So, this makes it sound like we are doomed to be stuck in a continuous mire of expanding negativity and unwanted experiences in our lives, but that is not the case. It is actually very important to notice what you don’t like, not for the purpose of carrying on with it, but as a way leading to noticing what you do like. In fact you should recognize and accept something undesirable as what is, trying to ignore it can also just perpetuate it.

Once noticed we should release our focus on it and bring our attention to our true spiritual self which is calm and of good feeling. This is the point where what you want, that is different, is energized. You may not be consciously aware of the exact details. Now you can develop specific thoughts about what you want, which then is what you should be focusing on.

Now this doesn’t mean that the only way to get to what you want is that you must experience something unwanted, but it is one common way. We can see what we want in what others have experiences, or in ideas on how something can just be even better than it is. But, generally it requires a point of notice, I’ll call it, where we become aware of something.

The pivotal point is in accepting what is, becoming at one with your true self and noticing what you do want. Then, keeping your thoughts away from the dislike and more on to your true self and what you do want, is important to guide your energy more to the experiences you would like. I know how it is so easy to continue to dwell on something, but if in this very moment you can’t do anything about it, you don’t need to be thinking about it.

Think of the seed analogy, and that every thought and feeling you have is a request to Spirit, God. Now, what do you want to think about? If you treat your thoughts as if they are seeds, just like a physical plant seed, you can come to realize their affect on your life. They are acted upon just as any seed is, it gets what it says it wants.

In fact, by dwelling on something undesirable and allowing your fear, doubt and worry thoughts to become most prevalent, you are closing off your connection to Spirit. Negative thoughts actually cause your brain to shut off the intuitive, creative, receptive faculties, it puts you into ‘fight or flight’ mode.   So you are less likely to get an inspired idea on how to best deal with an ongoing undesirable situation.

Our power is in our command of our thoughts and feelings, which is why paying attention to your thoughts is so important. Setting aside time each day to consciously analyze your thinking and how you feel allows you to discover more about yourself and allows you to then notice how you ‘do’ want to think. Just as you can notice how you would like society to be different in some way, you can notice what you would rather experience in your life, then how your thoughts can be more in alignment with this.

Noticing what you don’t want is the impetus to change. Your feelings about something are meant as a signal to you to notice it, but not to continue to experience long term. It’s like a fire alarm, it’s no longer needed once you know there is a fire. Harboring negative or low level emotions is very destructive to you mentally, spiritually and physically, choose to step away from then as soon as you can. Replace them with a higher level emotional feeling as much as possible.

Life Can Be Exciting

There is nothing more exciting than being in a life that is going and blowing! I think that term, ‘going and blowing’ is an old railroad analogy, it describes a locomotive that is racing down the tracks full speed with a steady stream of smoke blowing out of the stack. We can use this to relate to living a life of constant self-discovery, personal growth and development.

Now I’m not implying that you should be pushing yourself all the time. There is a big difference between moving forward consistently and confidently, and in being in a hurry, rushing around. Rushing is when you are late for work or are trying to cram too many things into a short time frame, this is not freedom! This kind of behavior comes from a lack mentality, usually including the feeling of not enough time, among others.

When you are in a mode of consistent self-discovery and growth you get very excited with what is going on. You see new possibilities for yourself on a regular basis, which lead to more and more. You feel more and more freedom, the feeling of really being alive and unrestricted.

Even discovering what in your thinking has been responsible for an undesirable condition or behavior is exciting as this opens up your understanding and what you can do about it. You will see first hand how life works, what your role is and how you can best participate. You find out more of what you are capable of, which opens even more possibilities.

Your confidence rises substantially as you take command of your thinking, as well as responsibility for it. Your vision expands greatly as your faith in both your abilities and the possibilities available to you grows. Your ability to just accept your current situation along with taking responsibility for it becomes easier and easier. You see how change is more about choices and faith than about current conditions or past experiences.

You become more open to the new and different, and less attached to your existing beliefs and perceptions. You become comfortable with change as that is really life, always evolving. You stop trying to create a perfect, set, predictable life situation for yourself, as that is just fighting the natural flow of life.

You learn to know the difference between guided and inspired thought and the ego based protection thoughts. You take purposeful action based on the correct thoughts knowing that this is what you ought to do in order to have the experience meet with the idea, your role in the law of attraction.

Human history has shown that all this does not happen very often accidentally, although it does. But if you make it your intention to live your life in constant growth, you will. It is really an every day activity that you will have to develop into. Your days are already full, right. You will want to gradually make room for YOU time to do something related to your self-discovery and growth, and you will see that it will expand into everything that you do.

One thing that can help is to get a picture and even the feeling of what you want, because you will actually want to think, feel and act like the person doing and having what you want, in this case a lifestyle of consistent growth and development. Back to the train analogy, we can elaborate on this picture of the train going down the tracks and how it can relate to our life. It can be useful to have mental pictures that you can relate to as a way to further engage your thinking and enhance your feelings.

• It’s steadily moving forward.
• The scenery is always changing.
• It’s moving confidently, it knows where it’s going.
• It’s being guided on it’s way.
• Moving is what it was created for.
• It’s getting something done.
• It’s involved with people, things and places.
• It has purpose, taking purposeful action.

And maybe there are more aspects we can relate to, what do you think of when visualizing a fast moving train?

You will find that in choosing constant growth rather than trying to create a ‘perfect’ life, life is much more comfortable and satisfying. You will be less likely to be rushing around and more likely to be calm mentally and physically, getting more done – of what you want and enjoy.

Stop Giving Energy To What You Don’t Believe In

Everything that you do is an outflow of energy which effects whatever you are part of. And, you are part of the universe we all live in. You may be aware that your attitude and actions effects the people you are around, but actually it effects everything. Your thoughts, feelings and actions are all energies that contribute to the collective energy that radiates throughout the world. Carl Jung coined the term, “collective unconscious” which refers to the totality of all shared experiences of the human race. He was certainly not the first to talk about this vast database of human awareness that not only makes up all that has been, but of all that could be. We are all contributing to it and are all influenced by it.

On top of all that, there is something else that is effected, you, the individual. Whatever thoughts, beliefs and perceptions you have will be supported and expanded by your mind, that’s just part of it’s job the same as it keeps your heart beating without your constant attention. Everything you think and do is reenforcing a belief of some sort, helping you to continue to do the same with less and less conscious thought.

So, are your thoughts and actions really supporting what you say are your principles, what you want to stand for? Or are you acting and reacting based on thought programming you have not considered to question? If you say that we should be treating all people equally, are you? Maybe you are most of the time, but what about those certain people or situations? We all have advice for other people on what they can do to make the world a better place, when we can’t actually change anyone, except ourselves. As you change and align your thinking and actions with the ideals you desire, it effects everyone in a positive way not just by direct contact but through the collective unconscious.

What you are thinking and doing is contributing to the overall consciousness of your family, your community, your country, the world. In recent years science has proven what the great spiritual leaders have espoused for centuries, we are all part of the collective unconscious which is energy constantly interacting and changing form. Many of the beliefs you now have were passed on to you through the consciousness of the people around you, your parents, relatives, close groups and community. And you are unknowingly perpetuating these same beliefs.

In order to change this constant repeating of the same beliefs and related actions one must choose to take command of their thinking. David R. Hawkins, in ‘Power vs Force’ states that the first major step to raising our consciousness is in accepting personal responsibility. And our responsibility starts with our thinking. Our ultimate power lies in our command of our thinking. We can consciously question our thoughts, our beliefs, our perceptions and our actions and determine which ones presently support what we want. We can release or alter thoughts that were put into place years ago so that we are more congruent with the direction we want to be going with our life today.

As we upgrade our thinking we are not only helping ourselves, but also everyone around us and the world as our energy becomes part of the collective unconscious. How we effect the world is part of our responsibility, we are the only ones who can do anything about it.

 

Striving For Happiness

“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.” — Chuang-tzu

So what’s wrong with wanting happiness? Nothing, it’s normal for us to desire happiness, it’s a natural built in desire.

However, striving for it is another matter. When you focus on wanting anything, you are actually focusing on out lack of it. When you say or think, “I want”, you are also stating, “I don’t have . . . “. When you are continually looking for something, there is a reason. You only look when you don’t have it. When you state that you are not happy because . . . , you are claiming the unhappiness. Can you be happy while honestly claiming that you are not? No, can’t happen.

When you state that you will be happy when . . , or if . . ., you are also placing conditions on yourself. You are stating what has to happen in order to be happy, and many times exactly how you get there. If and when you do get or do something you decided would bring you happiness, the kind of happiness you feel is momentary. And if there are any delays or difficulties, this can bring on unhappiness because it appears to be keeping you from your stated happiness.

True happiness happens it’s not made. It happens when you feel satisfied in the moment. You can actually be happy right now in whatever circumstance you are in. When you decide that your happiness is not tied to anything specific, you are now allowing yourself to be happy at any time. Happiness will sometimes show up when you least expect it. It is very common for people to be happy while working very hard on something they want to accomplish.

Happiness is actually a choice. True happiness comes from knowing who you are and knowing that you deserve to be happy in any circumstance, not just in specific moments when the conditions are right. You are restricting your happiness when you declare that it only occur under certain conditions. The choice is to allow yourself unlimited, unrestricted happiness. Then you will notice more and more as you stop seeking it, as seeking or striving denotes it’s not there. . . so it’s not!

Consider this, with every thought and word you are stating, “I AM”. When striving for happiness you are actually saying, “I am not with happiness, so I must find it.” Happiness is already here, you just need to allow it to surface.

 

Pass The Butter

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys.

It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.

How do you like it?

They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW…the difference between margarine and butter?

Read on to the end…gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating Butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine…

Very high in trans fatty acids.

Triple risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol),

Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold,

Lowers quality of breast milk,

Decreases immune response,

Decreases insulin response.

And here’s the most disturbing fact….

HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC…

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life

and anything else that is hydrogenated

(this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

You can try this yourself:

Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area.

Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:

* No flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)

* It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value

* Nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weenie microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.

Why? Because it is nearly plastic.

Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

Now. . . Pass the butter!

Share This With Your Friends….. (If you want to “butter them up”!

 

 

 

Are You Trying To Share Yourself With Your Past

A situation has come to my attention about someone who has been having problems for a long time trying to insist that other family members go along with how he wants to sort them out. He thinks discussing the mess of the past with others will help everyone with their stress, anxiety and depression, but mostly himself. He has been having a hard time living in the present without including the past.

This is a great example of how many get stuck in the idea that the only way to live fully in life is to go pack into the past and drudge it all up. That the only way to be happy today is to find and identify the ‘nugget’ in the past that seems to be at the root of your problems.

In order to see how personally destructive this is we must clear up some things about our existence and thinking.

First, the only REAL moment in your life is right now. Your future is your projection and your past is your memory.

So, the only way for the past to be a part of your life at this moment is for YOU to bring it here. Something that occurred in the past is not real today, but you can make it real by bringing the thoughts and emotional feeling of it into your thought space today. And through the miracle of your thought power you can choose to feel the same emotional feelings related to something from the past right now in the present. It’ s the most perfect re-enactment.

This is how your emotional pain from the past is brought current. Your past cannot bring itself into the now! Unless you choose to give those memories unlimited power in your life to come up at will and trigger emotional feelings at will.

Now I know that many feel the need to go back and discover the root cause of their pain feeling that this is the only way to alter the way they feel today. This is quite common, but so is the number of people stuck in a place of unhappiness waiting for the cure.

Where actually the only cure is today. How you choose to be and do today. There is a decision you must make, do you choose to live how you can live today or do you keep reliving some particular painful parts of the past?

Why most who think they need to dredge up the past is to ‘know’ why they think and feel as they do now. OK, yes you are a compilation of all of your perceptions linked together throughout your life. Since your perception is all you really have to bring everything into your life with, it influences who you are right now.

However, if you do go back in your past and find what you think is the root cause of particular thoughts and feelings, what then? In order for those thought patterns and attached emotional reactions to not be as they are today you will need to make some personal effort to alter them. They are the result of an initial event plus many other things that have been linked and have influenced your thinking along the way.

So, here is the surprise, just discovering the root cause will not make the thinking habits magically go away, all it does is perhaps relieve your curiosity and wonder about how it all started. You will still need to work on yourself to alter the thought ands behavioral patterns. The thoughts and behavioral patterns can be altered by you either way, so why put your life on hold to search for the one thing you think will make you better, make yourself into what you want anyway.

Some may think I am making this sound too simple. They will say, but I can’t think about any thing else, I can’t function with not knowing. These are valid, but only because you have chosen for them to be. You have chosen to allow them to be in your present moment and have the presence that they do.

What is really going on here is that you are shifting the responsibility of making your life all that it can be today, to something outside of yourself. You are placing the responsibility on the ‘thing’ that is may be the root of your troubling thoughts. “This will fix my life.” It won’t! It will only clarify a question you asked and decided to use as a condition to your happiness.

Even the question itself does not ‘make’ you do or feel anything, you choose to place a condition on it that it must be answered to your satisfaction in order for your life to go on. But, you can also choose differently. The responsibility to live harmoniously in the now is yours.

Why are some people consumed with needing to know about these root beginnings of their troubling thoughts? Because they don’t know what else to do. They think that if I can go back I can undo it all. You can’t, it happened. All you can do to change its influence on you is to change your interpretation of your perception of it. And this can be done right here right now without even knowing the details or knowing if it actually happened.

Other people have made a different choice, to not consider what happened in the past to be the deciding factor in their experience today.

You start by forgiving the past, everything that occurred and everyone in it for what they may have done. And this includes yourself. That’s all, that’s it. It is done, time to live today. Sound too simple? Most of the truths are simple, only us humans figure out debilitating ways to entangle ourselves in contrived complexity. And then stress about it.

I didn’t make this up, if you are involved with a religion, what do they say about forgiveness? But you may not be allowing yourself to fully do it because you have chosen to hold onto the past, and you can’t do both! Why has forgiveness been taught for centuries, because it takes care of these extremely debilitating problems that arise when we don’t.

This is how life works for us humans, whatever thoughts we choose to make our predominant thoughts have the most influence on our now. So, if you choose to think you are troubled today because of your past, you are. If you choose to change those thought and emotional patterns for today, you can do that also.

The only way to make your today any different than yesterday is to think and do things differently.

Sometimes finally discovering that root to your problems actually causes more problems. What if you presently think that maybe a certain person may have done something to you that was traumatic and started the troubling thought pattern. Right now you are worried about this possible truth and anxious about needing to know for sure. Then, say you find out it is true, just as you had thought, the person did something that hurt you. Now what?

Many time people in this position now become very angry with the person because they can, they now know for sure. Now on top of the original problems you had surrounding your suspicion you have deep resentment and anger. Much better, right? No, now you are in a worse situation that still requires you to come to terms with all of it in order to attempt to live in the now.

Any and all negative emotions only hurt you not the person you relate them to. Your emotions are completely experience by you alone. If you are mad AT someone, feel hatred TOWARDS someone, HOLD disdain or resentment, guess whose body and mind are suffering from the negative energy? You. Here is the interesting point, you are the only one who can turn on an emotion and you are the only one that experiences them. Hmm, So who can change them?

Danger, continuing this WILL be hazardous to your mental and physical health.

This incessant desire to find ‘the’ answer is no different than other forms of striving where we have an insatiable desire to have, do or be something. And just the same as with striving, if we place a CONDITION of its acquisition we are setting ourselves up for failure. Things regularly turn out differently than we may initially desire. Then our conditional response is set into motion, usually not one of pleasure. The trees that survive heavy winds are the more flexible ones!

As I said earlier, why not start right now to forgive anyone who you think may have done something, in case they did. Forgive yourself for being involved, however you may have been. This is the only way to actually relieve the pressure of the emotions you are feeling regarding what may have happened. Even discovering that root event will not relieve the pressure. Forgive and you can begin new and fresh, allowing yourself to be receptive to what your now has in store for you rather than trying to mix the past with the present.

Frankly if something in the past were so potentially painful why would someone want it over a new moment with out it?

From here you can begin to work on the thought patterns and behaviors that are not in line with what you really want ion your life without the burden of constantly refreshing the past. There are many techniques for changing your predominant thoughts to thoughts that are positive and life affirming, such as positive affirmations.

That is another topic but start with a wholesale forgiveness of everything that has happened in your life and everyone that was or may have been involved. This will help you turn your past into memories rather than emotionally charged events you are bringing up to the present.

High self-esteem and great self-confidence are not supported by dwelling on the past, they are boosted by a positive attitude towards your life’s possibilities. The best stress reliever is letting go of the past. Positive thinking is rising above the mire of the past.

For your past – thank it, forgive it and bless it!

For your future – move on, find peace and be happy!

Forgive, learn, grow and live. . .

John

John Halderman, a writer, speaker, and trainer intent on helping you get real results from your personal growth efforts.

He supports methods, tools, and knowledge that bridge the gap between information and effective results.

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The Justification Trap

Have you ever allowed yourself to do something that you really should not have?

The human mind is a wonderful thing, however, it can work against you if you allow it to.

Is can be beneficial to understand how this can happen so you can prevent it, keeping yourself out of undesirable situations.

Last week, in my family we experienced a situation that is a good example of how the mind can lead us astray – if we let it.

My youngest daughter came to a point of thinking something was OK to do, when it was not.

It appears that her path of thought was supported more by her desire to do something rather than all the facts.

She justified, in her mind, that certain things occurred in ways that supported her desire.

The mind can do this easily.

This allowed her to make decisions that further supported what she wanted.

It’s a normal function of the mind that it tries to find solutions that support our desires – this is how we grow, develop and fully experience our life.

You may have noticed how your mind may attempt to circumvent your values in an attempt to take the shortest route to producing your desire.

You support this line of thinking when you take a small step allowing your mind to guide you to think something is acceptable now when previously it was not.

It’s usually a small step, but then another small step, and another and so on.

And you will find yourself doing something you shouldn’t.

This is where you may say something to yourself like;

“It will be OK this time”, or

“They didn’t tell me not to”, or

“But I really want this”, or

“Who will know”, or

“Just this once”, or

You may recall some of your own.

Here is where you need to be in command, to temper the minds tendency to give you what you want- no matter what.

This is an opportunity for you to solidify your standards and principles.

Every time you stop your mind from taking the shortest route to give you what you want, you strengthen the position of your values.

Even when you think you have developed habits that are based on your principles, still be on the watch for what you are doing.

Keep monitoring your thoughts and actions, your unconscious mind can slip into finding the easiest way to accomplish your desires without telling you – that’s how it’s built.

Don’t take for granted that you are all set with your thinking.

Change is constant with new and different circumstances coming before you that need your interpretation.

Continue to filter everything through your principles.

Justification is just a convenient way to circumvent your principles in order to get what you want.

Justification turns off the filtering mechanism you use to interpret what you do.

Vigilant thought management is the key.

John

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your

words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.” — Anonymous

“The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny – it is the light that guides your way.” — Heraculitus

“The character ethic, which I believe to be the foundation of success, teaches that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.” — Stephen Covey

“Character and personal force are the only investments that are worth anything.” — Walt Whitman