March 17, 2007

More about how the people around you affect your thought and behavior.

At the end of last month I shared some ideas regarding who you allow to influence you.

There is another way in which who you are around can have a profound affect on you.

Did you know that it is much easier for the son or daughter of a doctor to become a doctor than someone who does not have such a role model?

And I’m not talking about the ability to pay for all the schooling, rather a persons belief that they can do or be something. The child of the doctor may actually have more difficulty with the academic studies than a person from east LA with one parent struggling to cover the basic needs, but they will have a stronger vision of what’s possible for them.

There are many interesting nuances present when we are around successful people. Think about the life you were living when you were growing up. Is there any question in your mind about whether you could do the same for yourself? No, you can easily live as your parents did, in fact you very likely will without even realizing it, unless you figure out that you have the ability to do something different.

You have been around that life all your life, you know it well. you have experienced it and you have seen how others experience it. You are intimate with it, it permeates your subconscious and conscious mind

Your self-image is tied to this life as is your perspective on most things. Your mind has become programmed through the filter of this lifestyle.

Is it any wonder that very few young people from lower socioeconomic households become professionals or business owners. This is certainly not always the case but statistically it is. They have not had the advantage of being exposed to the successful example.

When you grow up having a parent that is, say a doctor, you then know first hand what a doctor is like. What their work entails, the kind of person they are, where they life, how they live, how they interact with others, how they handle money, how they handle problems, the things they do with their time, etc.

A person not close to this does not see and internalize much of these traits at all, they only take in perspectives ABOUT the doctor based on what they see from a distance, which is filtered through their lifestyle experience.

Your ego, the part of your mind that tends to protect you from anything uncomfortable, will try to keep you away from the unknown. So the more you know about what it is like to be a person who is a doctor the less resistance or ‘protection’ you will get from your ego.

If you want to succeed at something it becomes very important to get exposed to the people and situations that relate to what you desire in your life, in fact just broadening your exposure to many different people and activities can help you to determine you desires. Being able to ‘see’ something from a more intimate exposure gives your mind better ways to make the deeper connections that lead to your ability to imagine this for yourself.

The clearer the ‘pictures’ in your mind of yourself being like what you see, the more powerful your thoughts are. You confidence to make the first step is boosted by how much you can see and feel yourself doing it.

No matter your age, if you want to be doing something specific with your life, you need to look hard at who you should be around that can help influence you in a positive way. When you can watch other people close up doing something it becomes easier for you to see it for yourself. Over a period of time it seems commonplace to you. This also goes for any behavior good or not so good. I’m sure you have noticed that you can tend to copy at least somewhat, attitudes, perspective and behavior of people you have spent a lot of time with.

If you want to make a change, you will need to gradually reduce the influence of people that don’t fit in with your desires and add in people that do. As an extreme example, a group of people sitting around the local store with “bottle in bag” commiserating about how unjust the world is are not supportive or constructive to your becoming a doctor.

Find someone who does what you want to do, get familiar with them and what they are like, see what they do and why, get a feeling for their perspectives. Find people who do something similar, they will exhibit similar traits and behaviors. Associate with those who are supportive of your ability to step into what you want.

The proper influence from other people can help you to establish a clear intent for yourself. Your thoughts are the seeds that the universal spirit responds to. What are you thinking? That you clearly CAN do it or that you can’t see it for yourself?

It’s up to your choice and your actions to move yourself towards becoming who you want to be, it won’t just happen., your clear intent, your “seed” must be planted first. Allow others to help you clarify this for yourself.


“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” — Stephen Covey

“If we do not rise to the challenge of our unique capacity to shape our lives, to seek the kinds of growth that we find individually fulfilling, then we can have no security: We will live in a world of sham, in which our selves are determined by the will of others, in which we will be constantly buffeted and increasingly isolated by the changes round us.” — Nena O’Neil

“We cannot consistently perform at a level inconsistent with our own self image” –Dr. Joyce Brothers

How can you use this idea:

Take a look at your situation.

What about your current interaction with people? Do they support your desired life or not?

Take a look at who you are presently around and how they affect and influence you.

Is it supportive of what you want for yourself or not.

What are you like around them?

Is this how you want to be?

What and who do you want to be like?

Who has these traits?

How can you get closer to them, spend more time around them?

Make this your intent –

To spend time around the people who do what you want to do and those who support your desired change.

To assimilate some of the characteristics of those who already are doing it.

To intimately see how their perspectives, behaviors and thinking support what they do, and how those attributes can support you doing the same.


“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ”What’s in it for me?”” — Brian Tracy


I have studied many aspects of personal growth, spirituality, religion, psychology, and philosophy for over 40 years. My writing and training reveals ideas and methods which assist with affecting the desired change and growth people want to live more happy and fulfilling lives. Much focus is on what can be done daily and the how it can be implemented for actual results as opposed to just collecting information.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: