Are You Done In Life?

Are you a done with yourself or are you continuing to discover more
about yourself, seek personal growth and development?

You see it all around how science keeps going, discovering more and more
about the world and universe we exist in. As technology improves, which
is change, science is able to understand more about our universe plus
obtain more ways to describe it all. For example, this picture of a
supernova remnant was not possible just a few years ago even though the
object was there.

This is how life is, ever expanding in its awareness of itself. Plus,
the increasing awareness of humans to what is already there. Much of the
change seems to not exist or that the change is very slow, but it is
there. Everything in the universe grows and changes we are certainly not
excluded. We have the ability to continue to change and grow throughout
our entire life, including our final change here, death.

But at the same time there are so many people who are ‘checking out’ so
early. Getting tired, feeling aches and pain, feeling beat down –
telling themselves they are wearing out -that it’s too late. I’m not
trying to tell you that pains should be ignored, but how you look at
them can have a huge affect on the power they play in your life.

The biggest factor to your growth is your thinking. What you think about
your life and your growth determines what you see, feel and do. If you
see possibilities – you will see them, and if you see the ‘end’ in your
mind, you will see it in your life. If you think you are too tired, sick
or whatever – you are.

Time to check yourself:

· How are you the same today as you were 10 years ago?
· How are you different?
· What are you doing that you thought were not possible for you a few
years ago?
· Do you look at things in the same way you did several years ago?
· Do you see possibilities for your life or feel hopeless?
· Do you feel that your life continues to move on or do you feel stuck?
· Are you open to new ideas and concepts or do you want to keep things
the way they are?
· Do you feel your problems hold you back, sap your energy and nix your
motivation?
· Are your dreams alive or have you given up on what you want in your
life?

Can you change any of this? Well yes you can – much of it. Many times we
let one thing affect all of our life. We allow our attitude and outlook
to be clouded when one thing has happened when we don’t need to.
Certainly there are situations where something may temporarily set you
back but it does not need to be for all time. Only you can determine if
you are temporarily off or if it has been too long. You will need to ask
yourself honest straight questions about it. The easy answer is of
course, “I will just suffer a little longer” but maybe not the best!

The truth is that a broken foot does not come with a bad attitude,
that’s our choice. A marital separation does not come with resentment
that carries through all of your life, that’s our choice. Because
something did not work out for us does not mean nothing ever will,
that’s our choice to think so. The thing to be careful for is that when
something that appears negative happens don’t allow it to affect all of
your life any more than is necessary.

Ask yourself some key questions that help enhance your self awareness so
you discover how you think and feel about everything. There is always
more out there for you if you allow it and if you are open to recognize
it. When you are clouded by negative reactions it may not seem so, but
you can always change and grow. Your outlook on life is a choice –
yours. You are never done, unless you choose.

John Halderman – More on daily life actions to support a better life,
https://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

 

 

Don’t Wait For A Hole In the Plane

I’m sure you have heard about the Qantas Airways Flight 30 jet that had to make an emergency landing at the Manila International Airport shortly after leaving Hong Kong while in route to Melbourne, Australia. It was discovered that there was a large hole in the fuselage and a this point no explanation has been given as to how it happened, although it’s not likely caused by a terrorism act. All the passengers are fine and were very calm during the unknown course of actions needed to get the plane down safely in Manila.

This is just the event that can trigger your personal growth and development. Have you ever been in a situation where your life is quite possibly in imminent jeopardy? If you have, you will know first hand how you quickly go through an awakening, which commonly includes ’seeing your life flash before your eyes’. You all of a sudden see yourself and your life from a different perspective. It is much like the perspective many people come to when they are at the place of imminent death from old age or illness. They are able to see in a new light many of their long held feelings, thoughts, and perspectives from a more ‘outside looking in’ point of view.

When you are living ‘in’ your life you have a harder time taking an outside view of what you are doing. What you think is important or necessary may not actually be so. Your perspectives and your interpretations of the people, situations and events in your life may not be the most desirable to have to support the life you really want. When your life has evolved as it has, you accept much of it as ‘how it is’ and don’t really look at it as something that can be different.

 

When an event wakes you up so to speak, you are sort of knocked off kilter a bit and suddenly you are able to see things differently. At this point many people do a lot of reassessment of what is important to them and of their priorities, making changes that are more aligned with their true feelings. As undesirable as the trigger event may be, it can be a wake up call for you to take a look at how you are using your life.

 

Like at old age when people look back and say, “I should have done this or that, or not have acted that way” and regret what they did for so many years. Why wait the facing of death to reassess your life? You can do it any time you choose. Just because your life has evolved mostly in an automatic way, you don’t have to let it stay that way. You can shift gears and change direction any time you want. The first point is to realize that you can, and you can. You don’t have to be shocked into it, although that can make it quick!

 

There are many helpful methods and tools available for you to use helping yourself see your life in a new view and then with making any alterations you may choose to make. The second requirement is you must want to change, as your mind will most easily keep doing what it has been doing up to this point so you will need personal motivation to override this. You are intended to continuously change and evolve throughout your life, but many get stuck and don’t realize why they feel unfulfilled and frustrated.

 

You have your thinking, reasoning and the ability to choose which are your basic tools to navigate your personal evolution through life. Your connections with your inner self and your intuition serve as guidance as you go but can only respond to what you seek. A life unquestioned is a life unchanged except by outside influences. Allowing outside influences to be your only guide, you will be much like the ball in an old style pinball machine bouncing from peg to peg with little to no choice.

 

Choice is part of your basic equipment, learn how to use it and do so. Don’t wait for some outside event or near death to wake you up, assess your life and how your feel now. What is working and what is no? Everything in the universe is in constant change, what makes you think you can remain the same and feel good about it? You can’t – dissatisfaction, unrest and unhappiness are the result. Rather, learn to navigate the change to best suit the life you are guided from within to live and you will see your happiness and satisfaction increase dramatically.

 

As you navigate your natural change, as guided from within, you will actually feel more calm and secure than when you were seeking comfort by trying to keep everything the same. Let this latest in air emergency be the catalyst for you to asses your life, don’t wait for something to happen to you. If we can learn from what happens to others, we may not need to experience it ourselves. Your first choice is to take a look at yourself – or not.

 

John Halderman

John Halderman writes and trains in personal growth and development focusing on what can be done daily to enhance your happiness and satisfaction with life through the understanding of how life works, managing your thoughts and purposeful actions. Find out what you can do daily to improve your life. And see the Effective Personal Development Blog for insight, methods and tools for life growth.

Can You Give Up Existing Thoughts and Perceptions?

One of the things that makes it tough to change your thinking is the attachment to existing thoughts.

At first you may think that you wouldn’t do such a thing when the new mode of thinking is what you think you want. And of course this is true, but there is the aspect of your mind that loves to hold on to what you know and are familiar with. It’s very much like how a magnet automatically attracts iron and steel. Your existing thoughts seem to have a power of their own. They don’t of course, other than through your allowing them to.

But the hard part comes with your not always being aware that these thoughts are even there. Your unconscious mind harbors these thoughts which are integrated into your base mental operating system

Two aspects that are very powerful with us humans are the desire for comfort and following the familiar. Even when thoughts are not really in our best interest but are familiar to us, we will gravitate towards them, craving what is known.

We generally have a hard time facing the unknown, thus we shy away from it rather more often seeking what is known and comfortable. In our desire to eliminate the unknown, we attempt to define, categorize and organize everything to put it all into neat order that we can feel comfortable with.

This of course can not actually be done. In reality everything is in constant change, but because we are generally uncomfortable with new and different, we seek the known no matter how inappropriate it may be for us. This is also why thoughts and actions that don’t serve your best interest are so readily held onto and acted upon automatically in your unconscious mind.

“Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.” — Glenda Cloud

Part of your mind is trying to help you feel comfortable by building a database of what you have already experienced and use this as often as possible to help you feel good. One of the basic human drives is to feel good and our unconscious mind is geared to help accomplish this.

I know, how can doing something that is harmful such as a bad habit be comfortable? It can in the sense that it is known. It is more comfortable than what you have not done before because at least it is known to you. As you know many people will hang on to some very destructive habits without knowing why. This is one of the main reasons why change is so difficult.

For the most part you are unaware of this mental activity as your unconscious mind efficiently streamlines many of your thought processes. Don’t get upset with your brain, it’s just doing it’s job. Just imagine if you had to consciously think about everything your mind did – you wouldn’t have time to do anything above your basic life support, if that.

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” — Abraham H. Maslow

Our unconscious mind, much like a computer operating system, performs many functions without our need to be aware of them. But also like a computer program, your automatic brain functions can be altered. As a programmer can go in and change a program such as Microsoft Word and get it to perform different functions, you can change many of your basic thoughts, feelings and perceptions that automatically guide your behavior.

The question is – are you willing to face your basic comfort seeking programming in order to experience something new and different in your life? You must choose to step into the unknown, into what is new to you and away from what you have been deriving some comfort from. On the surface this seems and feels unnatural – but it’s not.

Learning to face and accept the uncertainty of the unknown releases your ability to change your lot in life, realize your potential and increase your happiness.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”

This applies here with your perceptions about the unknown, comfort and feeling good. When you change how you look at change, the unknown, anything new, you can affect your related behavior and how your automatic unconscious mind tries to keep you away from it.

Your life is designed to continuously develop with you becoming more of what you are capable of as you go along. When you allow yourself to shy away from change you are actually stopping this free flow of growth. When you see something new as being somewhat painful because it is different, this is a perception – a choice. Something new and different does not come with discomfort attached that is your doing. Nothing comes with perceptions or emotional feelings attached – that is all of our doing.

One of the most powerful self-help methods is totally free. Ask yourself questions, the right questions. Your subconscious will seek to answer your serious heartfelt questions. And questions can be used to assist with changing the way you perceive the unknown and change so that you welcome it rather than avoid it.

Ask yourself, “How can this be beneficial to me?”

“How can this be more beneficial than remaining as I have for so long?”

“How can this, new and different activity, better support the life I want?”

The questions you can ask are endless. It will take a little practice to figure out what to ask, just keep playing with it – having the intent of creating effective questions you will discover the right questions for your situatuion. You will also likely need to learn to listen for the answers. Quieting the incessant mind chatter is necessary and can be done in various ways such as breathing and meditation.

Another angle for questions is to ask yourself why you feel as you do about change, comfort, happiness, new and different to see if you can get clarity into your perceptions about them. This then allows you to see what you don’t want which then leads to the opposite, what you DO want.

Take the position mentally that something new and different is basically good and beneficial, ask questions seeking how this is. Rather than your old way of looking at change as uncomfortable and undesirable. Look for the benefits, not the detriments – this is a change of perception. Your emotional feelings will follow your perceptions, you will feel different about change when you look at it differently.

Be proactive with how you look at things, choose the perceptions that best support the life you are meant to live. Just because you have had a certain perception now does not mean you must keep it forever. The first step is to change the way you look at change.

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” — Herbert A. Otto

John Halderman

John Halderman teaches and writes in the areas of personal growth and development focusing on effective methods for self actualization, increased satisfaction and happiness. For more:
https://www.effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com
http://www.designalifesystem.com

Questions Expand Your Mind

Asking yourself questions is one of the best ways to get an answer.

Well, yes – that statement is obvious – but do you really get it?

Follow me here a minute – –

How many times do you let something undesirable continue to go on and on?

Why is this?

Part of the reason is that you may allow yourself to stew over something and replay the distasteful aspects over and over.

This mental activity does not support doing anything productive to find a solution or termination of the situation.

It actually just perpetuates or even enhances it.

I’ll bet you can easily think about some situations where you.

So, think again about situations where you have moved through into a solution or beneficial outcome.

What did you do to get to this point?

You asked yourself questions – didn’t you.

This may still seem too basic to you – what is he getting at?

OK, you move on with some change by asking yourself a question.

Why did this happen?

Who did this?

What do I do now?

How can I fix this?

You get the idea.

Aren’t movement, understanding and change always based on a question?

The point I am making here is that you will stay repeating the same thoughts and actions until you ask a question.

So then this leads to the fact that the beneficial outcome is based on the kind of questions you ask yourself.

Questions that probe deeper and deeper are the ones that are most valuable.

Questions that are bases on continually asking a question and being aware of the various answers you receive.

Questions that carry on from an answer you get.

Questions that continue to ask why – again and again – not just stopping at the first answer.

The quality of the outcome is directly related to the quality of the questions you ask.

This is related to a very basic concept – that there is always a new idea coming out of an existing one.

One idea leads to another.

Think about it – when you get an understanding about something, there are now new possibilities available that weren’t before.

The key here is that asking a question is the way that you seek that next understanding that builds upon the previous idea.

If you don’t ask – you remain with what you have.

Your unconscious mind may tend to resist this kind of probing questions if you are not accustomed to doing this.

Your mind will tend to just want to repeat what it has been doing.

This is where you will need to exercise your command over your thinking ability.

Learning to step aside from a situation to purposefully ask yourself questions with the purpose of developing new perspectives and understandings is a very valuable skill.

This stepping aside, quieting your chattering mind and asking questions is a skill that must be practiced frequently if you are to get it to be a normal part of your behavior.

You can only override your existing habitual ways of thinking by developing a new pattern.

One idea leads to another – and another, and so on.

Keep asking questions and you will find that you will get more and more appropriate and useful answers revealed to you.

You will learn to be receptive to more answers that come from your inner self and universal intelligence.

Be open to the feelings and varying ways answers are conveyed to you.

This is growth in action.

. . . On purpose.

John

“Every clarification breeds new questions.” — Arthur Bloch

“Asking the proper question is the central action of

transformation… Questions are the key that cause the secret

doors of the psyche to swing open.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

“The answers you receive depend upon the questions you ask.” — Thomas Kuhn

“Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.” — Albert Einstein

“The word question is derived from the Latin quarrier (to seek) which is the same root as the word for quest. A creative life is a continued quest, and good questions can be very useful guides.

Most useful are open-ended questions; they allow for fresh

unanticipated answers to reveal themselves.” — Source Unknown

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” — Decouvertes

Stop your busy activities for a moment

Take a look at what you have been doing and thinking for the last few hours or day.

Are you supporting what you want in your life or are you caught up in hectic reactive behavior?

Of course there are many things which you must do,

But in order to enjoy more of what you want,

You must gradually insert it into your life – yourself.

Ask yourself,

How could I have done things a little differently?

What can I do now, and tomorrow that will bring in a little more of what I want into my day?

Come up with a simple plan of how you will do it.

Schedule it in, go over in your mind what and how,

Use reminder notes, set your watch or phone alarm as a reminder,

Whatever you can use to jog yourself out of the routine just enough to insert a little something different.

Change is usually done little by little more often than through a big event,

Yet we tend to hope for the big event.

While you are waiting you can do it a little at a time and before you know it – you are there!

Checking up on yourself everyday is a good way to discover what to change and how do go about it.

Come up with a balance of doing what is necessary along with a continuous process of growth.

The growth part can very easily slip away, getting consumed by all that you think you need to do in a day.

The power of the human mind is in the ability to exert command over your thinking and what you do.

Choose to step in and be the director of your behavior.

Enjoy the discovery,

John