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Monthly Archives: March 2006
Monthly Archives: March 2006
I was recently asked about how to deal with the emotional and mental drama that we lug around with us. This is the stuff that we have accumulated through our life that becomes part of the filter system we see with and is the basis of our habitual thinking and behavior. It’s the stuff that helps keep us doing things the same way over and over even when it is not what we want.
Commonly this mental emotional baggage is termed to be negative, particularly after we realize it is helping to keep us from progressing as we desire. This is the stuff that keeps us from doing the things that would support the life we want.
The continual negative thinking, constant fear, doubt and worry. Negative self talk, insecurity, low self-concept and unworthiness are included.
The big question is what to do about it. Change it!
I know, not that easy. Well, actually it can be but it not usually is. Humans have the ability to change their mind quickly, just like flipping a light switch. But we usually don’t allow that because we tend to hang onto whatever is familiar no matter how destructive it my be. Habit patterns; even those we say we no longer want.
Basically you must change your thinking and behavior habits to habits that support the life you want rather than the life you are stuck with. First you need to realize that you allowed all that stuff to build up in your mind, you are responsible! Don’t get upset, that is actually a good thing. If you did it, you can re-do it. If someone else had done it outside of your control you would have no hope of changing it. Luckily that is not the case.
Another point to understand is that your mind cannot hold two differing concepts about the same thing. You either like anchovies or you don’t, you are afraid of something or you are not, you like money or you don’t. If you don’t want to have a different position on something you must change it. You can’t just add the new concept while leaving the old. You can’t both like and dislike something at the same time.
The concept of money is a big one for a lot of people. You may think that you like money and wonder where it all is. But at the same time you may hold thoughts of resentment or disdain for rich people. These negative thoughts will sabotage your desire for money, if you don’t like people with money how could you let yourself be one! Your mind won’t let it happen.
You can figure out how you think about something by the evidence. Its evidence reveals the operation, function or behavior of everything. Your behavior can be figured out if I only see the result. There are always certain actions that lead up to a specific result. When you look at a rose bush, do you think there are any functions going on inside the plant to produce an orange? No, the rose bush does exactly what it does to produce the results you see. So do you and I.
The first step is to identify these thoughts and behaviors that are no longer serving you. Look at the evidence of your life, what are you doing, what do you have, how do you think? Take notice in terms of positive/negative, good/bad, supportive/non-supportive, do/not do —
Your daily self-talk or mind chatter
What do you think about all day long?
You attitudes about people, places, things and life.
What does your emotional energy most support?
Level of self-concept.
Anger – happiness ratio.
Satisfaction – dissatisfaction.
Motivated – unmotivated.
Concept of what is possible for you.
What you are capable of.
Are you worthy?
To list a few
What you think about everything should be up for scrutiny because it all affects your life.
In general your predominant thoughts and emotions at all times throughout every day need to be in support of what you want. They cannot be on what you don’t want. Your subconscious and the universe will help you get whatever you request –and all your thoughts and emotions are the request.
There are different processes designed to assist you with this process of discovering how you think and feel, and then put in place what you want. You can do this on your own but I highly suggest getting assistance in some form. The more guided and directed the better. You know you are human, it is very easy to sluff off and not keep up with something that there is no commitment to. Guided programs and coaches provide commitment and accountability.
I am an example of someone who did it the slow way, mostly alone actually not even doing the suggested exercises and activities. I don’t suggest you go that route, get it done quicker, use a guided tool. The key is you have to DO something to see change. And I don’t mean only physical doing, actually it is more mental and emotional activity.
There are hypnotherapy methods, mental conditioning audio programs, and different guided programs that utilize multiple techniques. And there are personal coaches that help with this.
I have been using Creating Abundance by Dreams Alive, which I like.
http://www.smoothredirect.com/biwlf/
And they have a new Secrets Of Manifesting E-Course that looks good
http://www.smoothredirect.com/sqkdz/
In both of these guided parts and you will be taught EFT techniques. Take a look at them.
Keep discovering and growing,
John
One of my newsletter subscribers was talking about how she wants to become a writer, so I though I would comment about getting started with something new.
First, doing something on your own takes self discipline, you don’t have a boss keeping you going enough to get things done. It is amazing how much time can fritter away if you do not keep yourself on task with what your specifically want to be doing.
Us humans, we can easily fall into that place of continuous preparation, never taking enough purposeful focused action to accomplish anything meaningful. You may find that you must be an even tougher taskmaster to yourself than your boss was.
It will take motivation to do this. Motivation and drive that come from a deep seated burning desire. This is where you will discover the energy behind passion. If you don’t have sufficient inner drive, it will be tough to get yourself to do what you must to succeed at what you want.
This deep desire is what helps you to be able to do what may be uncomfortable and that which you would rather not do. There is a part of all of us that seeks comfort over all else, and it will win over your use of time if you do not have enough drive and self discipline.
Now, this deep desire comes from your purpose, your reason for being, your why. If what you want to do is tied to your purpose you will be getting assistance from your subconscious mind as well as Spirit. Although, you may be getting in your own way and sabotaging yourself with some of your past habit patterns. And this is a subject all it’s own.
You don’t have to be able to state what your purpose is, don’t stress if you don’t know, most people don’t know. However you can get a clue about it by what you are deeply drawn of urged to do. You must be careful to separate your deep signals of desire from your ego desires.
The other main area to think about when starting out in something like writing is to learn about the field of writing. What kinds of writing are there, what are you inclined to do? Are you looking for a way to make money from it? When you study the field you will discover many various avenues of possibility.
Now I’m not trying to be a wet blanket here but getting something published can be a long arduous process. I highly urge you to really research well the different ways to get published and understand them all before jumping in. There may be writing opportunities for you that you have not though of that are a little different from what you initially thought you want to do that may be appealing and have better pay prospects.
Be careful for people selling all kinds of magical ways to get published quickly and easily, they are not all they are cracked up to be. Just know what you are buying.
And also it will take persistence and determination, which is supported by your inner drive. Keep yourself doing purposeful activities that lead to the results you want and you will move in the direction of your desire. You do know the sure fire ways to never get to where you want to be are? Quit or don’t even start.
Another warning. I said earlier that you need to know about what you want to do before doing it. But you certainly do not need to know ALL there is to know, get started in whatever way you can as soon as you can. ‘You will learn the most about anything by immersing yourself in it. Don’t get stuck thinking you must know it all before proceeding.
All that you will encounter on your way to what you want is part of your life journey, just keep going – do something about it now.
John
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I just read an interview article on Beliefnet with actress Doris Roberts, who is best known for her role as Marie Barone, Ray’s mother on the show “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
She is playing in a new Hallmark Channel movie this weekend called “Our House” where she plays a lonely old woman who gives up on life. That is until she meets Bobby, a homeless woman played by Judy Reyas- from ‘Scrubs.”
In the story the homeless woman helps the Doris’ character find an new purpose, offering her home to homeless people and helping them out.
I know this is a movie but it reminded me of how we all need a purpose.
There are many older people who are living a lonely depressed life because they feel they no longer have a purpose. Their children are away on their own, they are no longer working. perhaps not involved in any activities and alone. This is a perfect example of what the mind will do when there is no drive for any reason, it can be a major cause of depression and anxiety.
People need a reason, a why, a purpose to drive and motivate them in order to experience happiness. Feeling low self esteem can become a problen when you don’t feel you are of use. There are statistics indicating that a large number of men die within a few years after retiring from high powered jobs, where they were busy, responsible and challenged.
If they don’t find a new purpose to get involved with they feel useless, which can lead to stress, anxiety and depression. When a person feel useless and of little value the will to live can become extremely low.
And what about the homeless people? Many of them have lost their drive because how they feel about themselves. Self motivation is difficult when you see no purpose. Due to circumstances they may have given up on a purpose they once had, seeing it as no longer feasable. Maybe they never had one. It becomes easier and easier to drop futher away from the average productive life because it takes effort which must be backed by drive — that they don’t have.
These groups of people are but two examples of people who could use assistance finding a purpose to get behind mentally and emotionally. This should be part of the effort given to help these groups as well as others.
People will do much more for themselves when they have their own reasons to exert effort.
Those who are driven to actively support their own purpose can easily miss the fact that there are people out there that are struggling with life because they do not have this crucial motivational key. We just don’t imagine someone without a purpose when we are embroiled in fulfilling ours.
But look at all the individual suffering and the burdon on society these people frequently are, just because they lack purpose. What if we could assist them with finding something they can get excited about?
Pay attention to others you are around. Better yet, give them some attention by taking the time to find out whether they feel they have a reason to get up in the morning? Maybe you can help them discover one. Imagine what could happen if you assisted them in raising their motivation level to match yours?
Pay attention, there are learning and growing opportunities everywhere,
John
I just read an article about the bird flu panic. There are a number of people who have brought their thinking to the stage just before hysteria about something that may have the potential of developing into something. You can read a very informative article about this situation in the latest edition of Ode Magazine, hardcopy or online at http://www.odemagazine.com.
One of the facts revealed is that the United States government is investing $2 billion, yes with a ‘B’ to purchase 20 million doses of Tamiflu in an effort to — well do something. Here is the problem with that.
It may seem that they are concerned about us, but it will not be effective against the flu they are worried about. There is currently NO vaccine that will be effective against the H5N1 virus. A vaccine can’t be engineered to combat a virus until the virus has mutated into a form that affects humans.
So what is the U.S. Government doing buying all this stuff? Are the powers that be actually allowing themselves to be sucked into hysteria? Or is it political? They may want to appear to be doing something to help the citizens, even though even 100 times the doses will do nothing if a pandemic comes to be.
What I would like to relate to here is the thinking that is behind hysteria. What is it? It’s the fear of something built up into a near frenzy in our mind. It can be based on the fear of anything allowed to expand in the mind.
How often do you allow thoughts to run wild in your mind? Now they may not get to the point of hysteria, but many let themselves get riled up to the point of panic. This far too often includes thoughts of fear, doubt and worry that sabotage your best intentions. They are allowed to build up unchecked to the point where they become the majority party in your group of thoughts every day.
This is what leads each of us to take actions that do not support what we truly want with our life. We begin to follow the thoughts that are generated by our fears, doubts and worries.
Yes look into the real possibilities that must be considered, but stop allowing your thoughts to be consumed with vague ‘what if’ thinking. This is not something that reading one book will cure, it takes effort on your part. You must take command of your thinking throughout the day. Learn to pay attention to your thinking, know what you are thinking and what are the thoughts supporting. Are they helping you with what you want or are they based on uncontrolled fear, doubt or worry?
Don’t allow your unwanted thoughts to swell to the point where you are behaving as irrational and destructive as the U.S. Government, spending resources on things that have no real value to your needs.
Growth is an everyday thing,
John
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I didn’t see much of the Oscars this year, but I did catch the acceptance from Reese Witherspoon for Best Actress in “Walk The Line”.
She said, “People used to ask June how she was doing, and she used to say — “I’m just trying to matter.” And I know what she means. You know, I’m just trying to matter, and live a good life and make work that means something to somebody”. I think this is a great attitude to have, for Reese and also June Carter.
Good for both of them, what a great thing to aspire to, what a great outlook on life. This perspective is a great foundation for anything you want to do with your life no matter how simple or elaborate.
This is an example of a base operating principle for your life that is based on your core values. When you establish basic operating principles they tend to guide you through everything in your life. It’s like having a filter to strain everything through to keep just what you want. When something doesn’t match up with your operating principles you don’t get involved.
Establishing your core values is part of what I call the “Foundation Factor” in a successful life design. Having a good foundation makes the rest easier. They don’t build buildings without them! Have you seen, Joe Vitale has come out with his new book, Life’s Missing Instruction Manual. I have not yet seen it, I’m not on his advance copy list yet, maybe next time! I do have one on order, from what I have heard it is good.
So far everything I have seen of Joe’s has been good. I like what he says about personal growth and developent, his concepts are solid. If you are going to buy his book and you want way more additional stuff thrown into the deal, go to http://www.themotherofallbribes.com/
This is huge! Don’t take all the stuff – you will be bogged down for a week, be selective! I have had the opportunity to hear him on several interviews. Most recently with hypnotist Wendi Friesen on her internet radio show on www.wsradio.com, and with internet marketing legend Mark Joyner on his Simpleology Live Learning Event.
In the interview with Mark, Joe laid out how he developed through his life, struggling in his early years. I think he is a good example of someone who has worked on his life and through his diligent efforts has become successful.
We all can grow and develop if we choose to, it can be beneficial to hear the stories of how others have don it. And obviously will continue to grow. Look to others as examples and for modeling how to apply successful thinking and activity into your life.
If they can, you can!
Discover, do and grow,
John
I had a reminder recently that just further demonstrated how important it is that we establish and maintain positive habits that support our desired life.
I have taken or should I say participated in Mark Joyner’s Simpleology 101 and 102 courses. I have to say they are very good if you are looking to gain focus with what is important in your life and keep it. It is a wonderful tool to support the life you want to live versus the life that automatically shows up as the default when you don’t direct your thinking.
What I did though was allow myself to get distracted out of my morning routine where I did the “Daily Target Praxis”, which is the daily focusing routine taught in Simpleology, for a few days. Well, actually about two weeks. And did I ever pay for it.
Going through the two courses took over two months, with a gradual change taking place in your thinking, so the difference in how you think can seem subtle. I had actually changes my thinking quite a bit and my general feeling and confidence were heightened.
So after I had not been doing the morning Praxis for several days, I all of a sudden realized how I quickly changed back to how I felt before the course. I was loosing focus and not getting as much accomplished.
And, then I was not feeling very good about it either. My attitude was getting more negative, I was loosing the intense drive and motivation I had been experiencing. Upon making the connection between how I was feeling and not doing the ‘Daily Target Praxis”, I began again.
And this is astounding, after just doing it again one day –I felt better and was more energized. The key here is that I energize myself as the result of my thoughts. When I am focusing on what is important to me and continuously remind myself of it, I feel better, have more energy and get a lot more accomplished.
However you choose to focus your thinking and keep it focused is up to you, but do it. Take command of your thinking, and guide yourself into the life you know is possible. Simpleology is a very good tool for this. The difference between keeping the focus and just allowing life to happen is huge. When you feel better, you have more energy, you get more done, you are then more motivated. All this leads to satisfaction and fulfillment.
The root of happiness is not ‘finding’ it but rather being it. And you ‘be’ happiness through your thought and activity. Only through some form of action will you change, and it starts with thought action.
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Look for more articles here on self-improvement addressing topics like motivation, goal setting, self-confidence and living a purpose driven life.
Grow, discover, and thrive,
John
John Halderman, a writer, speaker, and trainer intent on helping you get real results from your personal growth efforts. He supports methods, tools, and knowledge that bridge the gap between information and effective results.
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