Oprah, Ellen and “The Secret”

As most of you know by now both Oprah Winfrey and Ellen Degeneres have talked about the movie ” The Secret”

I watched both shows that Oprah had about the movie and I was impressed. And how Oprah said that she has been practicing the concept herself for years has a lot to say.

First, this is a great testimonial for how effective the concept is, Oprah has been very successful in many areas of her life using the principles.

And, she set up a second show because of the huge positive reaction to the first one. It is wonderful to see how many people recognize the power and validity of the principles “The Secret” describes.

On her first show she had the creator of the movie Rhonda Byrne along with 5 of the people who contributed to the movie; James Arthur Ray, the Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith, Lisa Nichols, and Jack Canfield.

Then on her ‘Reaction’ show she had James Arthur Ray and the Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith to give some further explanation plus they answer some questions from the audience and spoke to some recent success stories from the audience.

I think it is wonderful that Oprah has announced this to the millions who watch her show, she has the ear and respect of so many people – I applaud her, and all the efforts she makes to help people and the world.

But revealing “The Secret” is special because truly the way for the world to ‘grow up’ is one person at a time. The change must take place in the individual – each and every one of us.

I don’t want to tell you to not do things that help other people, you should do these things, and more. But work on developing yourself – become an example others will follow. And help others to do the same. The secret to a better world is individual growth and development. The huge number of people dwelling on fear, doubt and worry is more damaging to the world as a whole than anything else people do. Everything else is just a symptom of this.

Improve your thinking and your behavior will rub off on others.

Hooray for Oprah and Ellen for showing the concept of deliberate creation to their audiences, and hooray to Rhonda Byrne for getting “The Secret” movie made – it’s a good clear way to expose many people to the concepts.

The key is to learn the concepts then apply them in your life, just knowing about them will do you little good. Applying them will be life changing and powerful.

Live and grow – everyday,

John

Who do you allow to influence you each day?

The people that you surround yourself with have a large effect on your life. They can influence how you think and what you do.

Choose who you want to be around. What kind of life do you want to be involved in? Surround yourself with people that are related to the attributes of the life you want rather than what you don’t want.

Something I have told people for years. “I you don’t ever want to get into a bar fight, don’t go into bars.”

The places you frequent and the people in those places have an affect on you and your behavior.

Everything rubs off on you. Have you ever noticed how you will take on some characteristics of the people you are with and how this changes when you are with different people? You may act one way while at work and a different way with your mother or at a religious meeting. Who you are with and what you are doing has an affect on you at least while you are there. Think about this and what you want in your life, are you involved with the people and activities that are supportive of your deep desires for yourself?

Now you may be thinking, how can I surround myself with the people doing something particular when I am not yet doing it myself. Well sometimes this can be a challenge, but get as close as possible and continue to work your way closer, which you will be able to do as you meet more people and grow yourself.

First steps can be as simple as just spending more of your time doing something involved with what you desire rather than what you don’t. For example, if you work in construction and you normally stop by the bar after work and spend a couple hours commiserating with your work buddies and you really have a desire to be a big time stock investor, why not go home instead and get online and educate yourself and do some research. You may not be able to hang around current investors but you can prepare yourself to do so. Then you could join an investment club who welcomes beginners, and so on. You will start to meet more people as you place yourself in new situations.

In analysis, hanging out with the people at the bar will support you with what you now have in your life, if that is what you want OK then do it. But if you want something else, you must make the change, don’t expect it to just happen. The opportunity of meeting someone who could be a fantastic investment mentor is more likely to come up somewhere other than a bar, you need to put yourself in situations that are better for opportunities to present themselves. This is part of your responsibility in being ‘available’ for the opportunities that the Universal Spirit will offer you to move in the direction of your dreams.

If you keep on with things just as they have been in your life you will just get more of the same, but if you want things to change, you must change – your thinking, your behavior, your perspective, and the people you are around.

This may seem difficult right now from your current perspective, but as you spend some time with the idea, along with a feeling that there IS a way, you will gradually see things that you can do to change.

One of the potentially toughest areas to manage who you are around, is with relatives. Remember that it is ultimately up to you who you are around. You can choose how often and for how long you interact with a relative. If there are people who you see as not being supportive or even destructive to the life you want, reduce your interaction with them. You can even stand up to them and let them know that some of their behavior or what they say is not what you want to be involved. You can tell them that you don’t want to discuss certain topics when you are around. That you understand their views on the subject but that the two of you just need to agree to disagree without trying to convert each other every time you interact.

The bottom line is that just because someone is related it does not mean that you must interact with him or her. Some families seem to have a very caustic core component that is not supportive to personal growth and self-improvement, are you going to let the views of them guide your life? You may need to step away from most interactions with these people in order to get yourself free of their kind of thinking and allow yourself to change yours. The time not spent with these people can be utilized for your development into the situations of your deep desires- grows yourself.

Many successful people have noted that along the path of their growth they had to give up people that were no longer fit into the vision they had for their life. They had to find the people who did. This is part of the change process that some find difficult, leaving people who they know and are accustomed to along with trusting that they will find new people to associate with. WE do need to interact with others, that is part of our makeup, but you can go change period while you wait to discover the new people to relate with.

Another aspect of changing who you are around as you grow is with the people who become threatened by your new thoughts and actions. Many times people close to you will feel uncomfortable with the changing you and express this discomfort. They may try to negate what you are doing in some way or get upset with you because you are not interacting with them in the ways they are use to. Remember that just like you, they get are accustomed to the kind of interaction the two of you have in the past and will feel unsettled or disturbed by any change to that.

This is something that may occur as you grow and change. You must decide to let go of these existing relationships in their current form if you are going to move to a different place in your life, you can reduce your interactivity with a person, you can eliminate it or you can alter it. Much of how a relationship changes depends on the kind of relationship and the flexibility of the other person. But you must take command and do what is best for your continued growth, if that’s what you want.

The saying, “have your cake and eat it too” relates to this. You can’t change your life and keep the life you currently have at the same time, you will just remain frustrated. The inability that many people have with making this kind of change in existing relationships is what holds them back. This is where much anxiety, stress and depression come to be when you deeply want one think but are remaining in another. You may think that you can’t get out of your current situation but you can when you decide to face your feelings and the reactions of others.

Fearing the response of others can be daunting but it must be done for your life to go on. Remember that the reaction and opinions of others should not be taken as guidance for your life. Listen to your inner higher self for this. Of course others will have their opinions, they wouldn’t be human if they didn’t, but this is not the definition of who you are. A hundreds people will have a hundred opinions of you, but the only one that matters is yours.

When the wind blows, a tree will sway, leaves will come off and even branches may break, but does the wind define what the tree is?

Don’t let the ‘wind’ from others define you, go with your inner guidance, it is intended specifically for you. Take the steps you are guided to take and place yourself in position for the opportunities the universe presents you to further your expression of your purpose.

John

“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can easily be hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give that power to anyone else.”

— Brian Weiss M.D.

“That’s the risk you take if you change: that people you’ve

been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people

who do will come along.” — Lisa Alther

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

— Marianne Williamson

“We need not be afraid to touch, to feel, to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what you are, what you feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want you to be.”

— Leo Buscaglia

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have and

only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest

you let other people spend it for you.”

—Carl Sandburg

“Do not choose bad friends.

Do not choose persons of low habits.

Select good friends. Be discriminating.

Choose the best.” — Dhammapada 78

“Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky

The power of why

Why do you want what you want?

How deeply do you want it?

How much emotional energy do you apply to your desires?

These questions point to the energy and power your desires have.

One of the most effective ways for you to support your desires is with clear and strong reasons why you want them. Having a clear vision, pictures in your mind, is great – a good starting point, but positively emotionally charged feelings behind it is where your power is.

Emotionally charged energy is magnetic, your mind and the universal spirit respond to it. In fact if you want to have any affect on changing your current status quo, you will need to utilize this energy.

Have you ever tried visualizations or affirmations, and not found that they have much affect on things? It’s likely because you have not added enough emotional charge to them.

Think about this,

The things that you don’t want to be a part of your life anymore have plenty of emotional energy tied to them don’t they? They usually do.

So, what happens is that what you don’t want tends to win out over what you do want because it has a higher emotional charge.

This is why spending time dwelling on what you don’t want helps keep it around. You project more of the energy describing your ‘don’t wants’ than you do your desires.

To move you into the life you desire is to —

Spend more time thinking about what you DO want than what you don’t.

Continue to clarify what you want, more detail.

Identify what it will do for you, how your life will be with it. What will it do for you and others?

Add emotional energy to these pictures by placing yourself there, in the picture, and feel how you WILL feel. Get excited about it.

Explore all the various emotions involved – let them develop. Your powerful ‘why’ is your deep feelings behind how you will enjoy and benefit from what you want.

Here is a key idea that has helped me.

The only reason you want to think about something you don’t want

– is to use it to identify it’s opposite

– what you DO want.

Then shift your thoughts and attention to focusing on your want.

Your thoughts and emotions need to be in support of what you DO want in order to allow it into your life experience.

Always ask yourself – are my thoughts supportive or un-supportive of my desires?

Move your attention away from the un-supportive thoughts and at least to a neutral place, but even better to emotionally backed thoughts of your wants.

John

“The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.” — Earl Nightingale

“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore,

you have the power to change anything about yourself or your

life that you want to change.” — Barbara De Angelis

“Your most important asset is the conscious control of your own life.” — Butterworth:

“Learning to be aware of feelings, how they arise and how to

use them creatively so they guide us to happiness, is an

essential lifetime skill.” — Joan Borysenko

Check your thinking all the time-

Is it supportive of your desires?

Or,

Is it furthering what you no longer want?

Train yourself to use the thoughts of what you don’t want to trigger you to think about what you do want. It can be an automatic switch in your mind that links the first thought that pops up to the more desirable thoughts.

When you catch yourself dwelling on your don’t wants –

Ask yourself,

What do I really WANT right now?

Start thinking about it

Gradually develop the idea and add emotion.

How would I feel right now, if it were this way right now

Having one thought link to another is a normal activity of your mind, it is doing this all the time. It’s just the word association that gets set up automatically in your mind linking one thing to another. Now you can use it specifically on your decision, for your purpose – it’s your mind, you are in control! Use this ability to your advantage.

If I say, “home cooking”, what idea pops up? — Whatever is attached to the phrase in your mind. This is one of the many features of your mind that runs automatically that you can choose to use on purpose.

Developing this ‘switch’ connection in your mind for all of your ‘don’t want’ thoughts will get your automatic mind to assist you with moving more of your attention and focus to what you DO want. More time and attention on these thoughts will allow you to develop clearer pictures and deeper feelings, and this is how you will properly influence your subconscious and the universe.

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single

thought will not make a pathway in the mind.

To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.

To make a deep mental path, we must think over and

over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

–Henry David Thoreau

“Cherish your visions. Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.” — James Allen

It’s all about FOCUS

The Law of focus stipulates that, what you focus on expands.

What do you think about? What thoughts do you dwell on? Where is your attention?

Where your attention is – your life goes, how could it go anywhere else? The universe responds to your thoughts. The more you give your energy towards something, the more you will experience the same in your life experience.

Your thoughts are seeds just like the coding contained within an acorn. If your thoughts are scattered, your life will be scattered. If you are focused your life experience will focused.

I noticed quite some time ago that in my life, if I wanted to something in my life I had to get very involved with it mentally. I had to get intimate with it – with my thinking, and I could not get intimate with a halfhearted effort or thought commitment. I had to invest quality time and focused attention before I could get desirable results.

Many people know that their thoughts are like seeds with the intelligent universe, but do not actually fully understand the entire concept.

The frequently misunderstood component to this concept is, what actually comprises the seeds critical directive component. What is the equivalent to the DNA of the seed – that part within the seed that is the code that the universe responds to in kind.

Actually it is your daily thought. If you can imagine that your daily thought is contained within the shell of an acorn you would be very close. This means all of your daily thought, not just the thoughts you have for a few moments when you think about what you want and make some statements to yourself about what you want.

It is actually the combination of all your thoughts. You are defining the contents of your seed with your every thought. So if you tell yourself that you want to have, be or do something for a few minutes, but then let your thoughts go to some sort of fear, doubt or worry – you are clouding and confusing the contents of your seed.

The universal intelligence responds to your thought requests – the whole group of them as one. Which ones are actually dominant – what you really want or your fears, doubts, worries, complaints and rationalizations.

Your complaining, griping, dwelling on fear, doubt and thinking that you must figure it all out consciously not only creates stress for you but to the responsive universe it is all part of your request – the DNA of what you will develop into. If you are stuck in thinking that you must figure it all out with your conscious mind, you actually close down your connection to intuition and inner guidance.

Think about this: What if your DNA did not contain a clear definition of your eye color? Say there was some doubt as to the possibility of having blue eyes. How could the universe support the something that was not defined? What color would your eyes be? Would you even have eyes?

The universe can’t act on mixed up, unclear messages – it will act on whatever is most predominant, no matter what it is. If you spend more time thinking about doubt, you will get more doubt. If you dwell on a specific fear, guess what you will get more of.

Most think that all they need to do is to think about what they want periodically and occasionally make positive statements supporting their desires and they are planting their request. This is not enough. What you think about in between, most of the time, will have more impact.

If you end up using a greater part of your time thinking about your fears, doubts and worries, they will have more impact on the definition of your seeds. If you think about your desires for about 10 minutes a day and then spend the bulk of the day worrying about what could go wrong, thinking about how difficult it is, doubting yourself, or trying to figure out how it can work – what does your seed look like?

Here is the key to developing the seeds for what you want for your life. What are all of your thoughts throughout the day? They are all contributing to the DNA of your seeds. You can’t let your clearly defined desires get muddied with a bunch of counterproductive thinking during the day. The majority of you thoughts need to support the description of the seed you desire. And a big part of this is to not muck it up.

Sure you find yourself dealing with many things during the day, but the key is – where is your focus? There is a big difference between thinking about something long enough to take care of it and dwelling on it.

Don’t let your daily dealings totally overpower your happiness and your growth and development.

Your thoughts are energy. Whatever energy you project will receive an appropriate response from the universal intelligence, as it must respond in kind to your request -the seed you are defining every moment of each day.

It’s important to be happy as much of the time as possible, otherwise you are focusing on what you don’t have or like – adding these thoughts to your seeds. I will get more into this in another session.

You have command of your thinking, you don’t need to allow any thought that pops into your awareness to take over. Choose to think about something different, more in alignment with happiness and your desires..

John

“Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can

immediately command when we focus all of our resources on

mastering a single area of our lives.” — Anthony Robbins

“Whatever commands our time, energy and resources, commands

us.” — Tom Sine

Whitman says it another way: “Oh, while I live, to be the ruler of life, not a slave, to meet life as a powerful conqueror, and nothing exterior to me shall ever take command of me.”

“Your daily life is your temple and your religion.” — Kahlil Gibran

Marcus Aurelius: “Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. Soak it then in such trains of thoughts as, for example: Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible.”

“Let all thoughts be thoughts of noble progress,

For then even failing cannot be called a failure.”

–Tirukkural 596

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed.

Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be

well.” — Marcus Aurelius

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our

thoughts. And with our thoughts, we make our world” – Buddha

“We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.” — Florence Scovel Shinn

“The universe never says no to your thought about yourself. It

only grows it.” — Neale Donald Walsch

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you;

you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” — James Allen

“You live with your thoughts — so be careful what they

are.” — Eva Arrington

“Every thought we think is creating our future.”

— Louise L. Hay

“Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Suffering follows an evil thought as the wheels of a cart follow the oxen that draws it.

Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.” — Buddha

“There is a great idea that you will encounter again and again on your quest: you are a living magnet, constantly drawing to you the things, the people, and the circumstances which are in accord with your thoughts. In other words, you are where you are in experience, in relationships, even in financial conditions, because of what you are (which is where you are in consciousness).” — Eric Butterworth

Take command of your thinking. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want or what just comes up in the day. Train yourself to catch yourself complaining, worrying and doubting, then just stop it. Focus on what you want or even something that makes you happy.

“A man/woman should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought forces upon the object which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his purpose (as he necessarily must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.” — James Allen

“As long as you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem.” — Stephen Covey

“The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.”

— Earl Nightingale

Every thought we think

Is like a flower in life’s garden,

And not the permanent possession of anyone.

Let our thoughts then

Be fragrant and beautiful,

Not rank and ugly,

That the memory we have behind us

Be felt as a blessing on this earth.

— Omar Khayyam

“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” — Alexander Graham Bell

“As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.” — James Allen,

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never

hold onto a negative thought. I don’t eat junk foods and I don’t

think junk thoughts.” — Peace Pilgrim

Are you receiving the happiness you should?

How do you feel about what is around you in life?

What do you expect people, situations and things to provide to you?

So often we make statements like; ‘I don’t get any pleasure from. . . ‘, or ‘it/they no longer gives me what I want’, or ‘it doesn’t satisfy me.’

What are we really saying with this kind of statement and what are we telling ourselves when we say them?

This kind of statement reflects a perception that our satisfaction and pleasure is or is not provided by things outside of ourselves. This is not the case, no matter how much you want it to be.

It is however, a very common perception of life – that our emotional happiness is subject to people, places and things.

It may be rooted in our general tendency of not wanting to not assume total responsibility for ourselves but rather hope that our happiness and satisfaction will be provided to us. Or just an ignorance of our true capabilities for choosing and doing this ourselves, or most likely a combination of both.

The key is in who or what is creating your pleasure or satisfaction. The answer is you, not anything or anyone else.

People’s behavior and things do not come with any specific emotions attached that you must assume. You decide how you interpret what is around you.

You alone decide to be subject to what you perceive about something. Is it a positive or negative for you?

It does not come with this label, you attach the label, and then react accordingly based on your own established reactive thinking and behaviors.

For example, if you feel that your spouse or partner is no longer giving you pleasure; this is not really something that they can give you, but rather your perception of them and their behavior. They can’t make you feel or think anything, that is your choice.

So, it is not them, but you who have changed. Your perception of them and or your interpretation of it lead to your current feelings.

When you can come to this realization you will understand that you alone have the power and ability to feel happy and satisfied or upset and miserable with what and who is around you.

All that someone or something gives you is an opportunity to perceive, interpret and react based on your personal judgement.

A good clear example would be with owning an automobile. We get one primarily for the service it can provide us with traveling from place to place. And when this is occurring properly, as we see it, all is well and we are happy and satisfied with the car.

However, when a mechanical problem crops up and the vehicle does not operate properly, we tend to get upset – right.

Well, does a broken transmission or fuel pump project negative emotions that we must take on? Of course not.

The emotional feelings that we develop are completely of our own making, not vibrations given off by a broken auto part!

So, do you allow yourself to get upset by this or can you remain neutral? Either way you need to deal with the mechanical problem, it’s just a matter of how you direct yourself to feel about it.

This applies to all people, places and things – you decide, they don’t provide!

It has been stated many times that, your overall happiness in life is based on how you handle and deal with things rather than the thing itself.

Why drag yourself through anger, resentment, disappointment, and frustration over a broken auto part when you can deal with it just the same or easier, while remaining emotionally neutral about it and feel nothing?

It’s your choice, but only when you learn that you can make it and you actively do so based on your desired emotional feelings.

The sooner that you stop blaming the way you feel on outside people and things and admit that it is your responsibility and ability, you will realize more happiness in your life.

Your personal growth and development is largely based on your paying attention to how you are feeling about things and choosing to make adjustments in ways that better fit with the life you desire.

Just because you have been reacting in certain ways to specific people and things does not mean that you must continue. You can choose a new different ways that feel more enjoyable and with less stress, fear, or anger.

It’s up to you to do analysis of your emotional reactions and make any changes you feel would better support the life you want to enjoy day in and day out.

If you don’t get involved in how you feel and why, everything will go on as it has just fine without your input- is that what you want?

Start right now; take a look back at the last time you had some kind of negative feelings about a person, thing or situation. Look at it from the viewpoint that you are deciding how to emotionally react and that you can do it differently if you choose.

The more you notice times that you can do it differently and think of a new way, the sooner you will gradually develop the new ways to be your standard.

If you find it difficult to come up with new different ways of looking at things and reacting to them, look at what other people do that you admire.

Modeling people who behave in ways that you would like in your life is a powerful way to change quicker than you would trying to figure it all out on your own.

Change is the way of life and your choice – take it and enjoy more happiness and satisfaction.

Minute to minute stress responses

Are you aware of the minute to minute stress responses that you experience, the little things that you do and feel as a stress response.

There are many seemingly little reaction that we grow accustomed to, so we don’t usually even notice them.

The racing heart rate,

Jittery stomach,

Nervousness,

Getting sweaty

Muscle tenseness,

Racing thoughts

Getting stuck on specific thoughts,

Heightened sensitivity to things and other people

Short temper,

Attitude more sour

Any and all of these can be associated with stress.

If you are perceptive, you can look at them as warning signs, letting you know that stress has been triggered and that you are reacting to them.

By making yourself aware of these short-term responses you can notice what you are responding to and assess for yourself why you are reacting as you do.

Then, you can think about other more appropriate non-stressful ways of looking at these things and adjust your reactions.

The first step to changing your responses is to notice them. You can’t make any changes to something you aren’t aware of.

Most of us are not accustomed to thinking about how we think, we just let it all happen as it may without any thought about managing it.

If there is anything that affects your life negatively from your automatic thought, it is stress response.

Paying attention to what you think and why you think as you do is a learned behavior. You will need to train yourself to do this if you want to get a handle on how you feel.

There is no question that you have the ability to do this — ALL humans do!

Just because you have not been aware of your thinking does not mean you don’t have the ability to do so.

You have the ability to take command of your thinking and behavior, you have the right to do so, you are worthy of doing so, your past has no bearing on your ability, in fact, doing so is what separates you from all other creatures. This is the key to all personal growth and development, the real power of being human.

Just because you have, up to this point allowed your existing programming to run the show unchecked, you can develop the habit of noticing how you think and choose to think in ways that support the life you want.

The reason I’m going over this point so much is that it is so very important that you develop the self-aware ability if you want to make any changes for yourself.

Changing your stress responses to something more positive is a two sided process. Both addressing your responses to specific triggers, plus adjusting the ways that you generally think about life in general and what goes on around you.

I will be giving you some ways to address both aspects of your thinking.

You can both – change the way you look at things and, adjust your exposure to certain triggers.

But, the first step is learning to be aware of your thinking, your perceptions and your reactions.

John

“The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power

of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.” — Aristotle

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness

of himself.” — Abraham H. Maslow

“I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing

towards being a champion.” — Billie Jean King

What it takes to change the level and kind of stress

What is it going to take to change the level and kind of stress you experience?

When taking a look at how to do something about your stress, you have basically two choices.

You can manage it or you can reduce it.

Managing stress is learning to better cope with the stress. Essentially, how you look at it and why you react as you do.

And reducing it is when you change what precipitates the stress.

Can you remove yourself from the offending situation, or reduce your involvement?

In order to do anything about managing or reducing stress you must have substantial motivation.

You need to have a compelling reason or reasons to have things be different than they have been.

Your motivation needs to be strong enough to help you overcome the natural tendency to allow things to remain as they are.

This is similar to changing anything in your life, the motivation for the new or different thought and action must be more compelling than the way it now is.

Knowing your motivation for anything is key to changing it.

There is nothing you do without a reason. Everything has a reason even if you’re not aware of it.

When you see and understand why you think or do something, you have the real root of the behavior.

You may not be able to make sense out of why you think as you do because you did not consciously decide to do so. It may be something that your mind came up with as a way of understanding, dealing or coping with something.

In you mind, some justification for it had some relevance at one point in your life.

When you can identify the reason, you can then more easily develop reasons for not doing it that are opposite to the reasons for doing it.

It will take some effort, maybe some great effort, to change from what you are accustomed to doing habitually. This is why the strong reasons for something new is so important.

This will entail doing things you are not use to doing, and setting the time out to do them.

It will take doing something out of the ordinary in order to develop new thinking and behavior.

The way to stay stuck is to keep doing what you have always done and expect different results.

The fact that you have identified something that you want to be different indicates you are ready to make changes to it.

So, the first steps to doing something about living with too much stress are:

1) Notice that there is something you want to be different in your life.

2) Discover what your reasons or motivation is for doing what you do.

3) Decide how you DO want to think and act in that situation.

4) Come up with some compelling reasons why you want the new way.

Be prepared that it may be difficult to get to the reason why you feel the stress in a particular situation. Your mind may be blocking this from your view.

Sometimes your mind will attempt to protect you from something uncomfortable or it wants to protect things the way they are.

Keep asking yourself the question, WHY, and eventually with persistence you will get the answer.

Remember, the easy way is to leave everything alone, and the harder way is to make changes.

But you will not progress and grow in your life without change.

Change is the growth activity that many of us feel we should not have to do – it adds work to our life.

Really, change is life — without it you are stagnant.

Yes, change takes effort, but it is worth it.

Addressing your stress and changing its affect on you is a major growth step and you will gain huge benefits in all areas of your life for doing it.

Changing is not an overnight thing, it will likely take time and effort, which is why powerful compelling reasons for the new way are so important. You must have motivation to get yourself to stick with your change efforts.

John

“You can’t understand the world and how you respond to it until you

first know yourself. You can’t change the things you don’t like about

yourself until you search out the things that influence you and motivate

you and hurt you.” — Stedman Graham

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself

and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own

life.” — Herbert A. Otto

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness

of himself.” — Abraham H. Maslow

Altering your stress

Continuing with more about stress here is more about understanding where it comes from and what you can do about it.

In order to be able to alter your stress and how it affects you, I think it’s important to get a clear understanding about how stress comes about, your beliefs and perceptions about it.

Seeing something in a new and different angle provides you with new insight and allows you more ability to work with it.

Stress comes from the way you think about something, not the thing happening.

The common notion is that stress is something that happens to you because of something occurring. But actually, stress is of your making.

It’s our reaction to a mental bind that we put ourselves in based on how we are interpreting something.

Usually this reaction includes our decision that something is not to our liking for some reason. It may be that we don’t want it to occur or that we’re unhappy that it’s occurring.

What I call the ‘mental bind’ is when your mind doesn’t know what to do about something.

It’s when you want something to be different than it is and you are either unsure of how to change it or you think you can’t do anything about it.

Another way to describe it is, any interference that disturbs the way we want things to be and that we would rather avoid.

You could use the common phrase, “between a rock and a hard place” to describe the place where stress

originates.

The stress comes out of the gap between your thoughts and feelings of what is, or might be, and what you want. It’s this difference that you react to.

Think about it, if you could snap your fingers and have anything and everything exactly the way you wanted, would you feel any stress?

Wayne Dyer says something that is appropriate to stress-

“When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things will change.”

Most of us think that if only the things happening around us and people would change, that we would then look at things differently, not the case.

We can easily get stuck thinking this because there appears to be logic that supports this idea. For example, if no one ever fired anyone from a job, you would not need to worry and get stressed about it for yourself.

If no one ever got mad at you, you would not have to react to it.

But the problem with this logic is that things will continue to show up in your life for you to deal with and people will continue to be people. You and I can’t totally arrange our world in such a way that nothing not to our liking will occur. It’s our task to learn ways of handling these things

Sure, there are many things you can do to set up your life to be more of your liking and this will help in reducing your potential stress, but you still need to take a look at how you perceive things and then react to them if you want to live a low or no stress life.

The key here is to first realize that stress is of your making. You can change your reactions to things, you can change your interpretations of things and how you perceive them.

You can do something about it, It’s your choice to take command of your thinking and decide how you will look at things and react, or to continue allowing your existing programming to keep going as it will.

Look at yourself, your stress and seek to reveal it’s real source.

What specific thinking is behind it?

The seed of your stress is in your thinking.

John

It’s YOUR Stress

Do you experience any stress?

Do you know where it comes from?

Well . . . I know you don’t really want to hear this, but it comes from you.

Your mind is the source of all your stress!

Think about it, does stress, or any emotional feeling, come pre-packaged with anything that occurs or that someone does?

We tend to think so, but it’s really our own individual judgement about something – not the thing itself.

Everything that happens or that someone does, is not equipped with something that forces us to react in a specific way – that’s our choice.

So, what about stress?

Stress is something that we each concoct for ourselves, with slight variations, but rooted in the same basis.

The root of stress seems to be lodged in the difference between what is going on now, has happened or may happen – and what you want or would rather have – or even are insisting on – in your mind.

Think about it. . .

You may not like what happened around you in the past or what you did in the past.

You may be afraid of what could or might happen.

You may not like something that is going on right now.

When you take on a difference of opinion about something and decide that you don’t like it – stress can develop.

Hold-on, are you saying I can’t have an opinion?

This is one of those “fine-line” places.

There is a fine line between having an opinion and wanting something versus being obsessed about it.

You can want something or have an opinion without letting the thought of it keep you up at night.

You don’t need to let yourself get irritated about your feelings about something.

The balance is in finding that fine line – wanting something and being able to live with something different.

This does not mean to give up on what you want either, but be OK with what is right now.

Stress is a choice- your choice.

I will be looking at stress for the next few weeks, it’s a huge topic and such a big part of life for many of us.

I would also like your input. What are your thoughts about stress, in general and your own?

Please give me your input below in the question section.

John

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is…The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.” — Dan Millman

“If a warrior is to succeed at anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.” — Carlos Casteneda

Blues music can be transformational

Today I want to go into something not usually talked about – Music

— Blues music!

Why blues music?

For it’s transformational quality.

Right . . . you say.

I know, most people think – how can music about things going wrong somehow be helpful let alone transformational.

Now, this may not be for you at all. You may not be able to see blues music in the way that I do.

I enjoy many different kinds of music, but blues is at the top of the list.

OK, what’s the point?

Blues music can be very cathartic.

Here’s the thing, the words you hear sung may relate to something not going right, but the music is very upbeat.

So, how can you really feel down when the music is bringing you up?

Blues music can be very therapeutic in that it helps you make the emotional transition from what has gone wrong, is uncomfortable or not to your liking through your brains reaction to the music.

The words help you bring out your misery or displeasure, which is healthy to do, and the music helps carry you out of the negative wallowing into a more uplifted feeling.

Physically your body reacts to the upbeat music, which your mind will likely follow, if you allow it.

The music will tend to get you to want to move with it.

Your mind and body are linked to where one responds to the other, so if you want to feel better and pull yourself out of a funk? — Listen to some music that helps your body get moving.

As you move, more endorphins are released in your brain, helping you to feel better.

Maybe some other music does this for you, that’s great.

But realize that some music can just keep you in that ‘stuck’ place, it’s the vibration level and how it affects your brainwaves that makes the difference.

John